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Sex in shower disaster (tmi) lighthearted why is it never like in novels

(95 Posts)
Driftingthoughlife Fri 19-Apr-19 11:14:17

Me and hubby have been trying to spice up sex life and I have been trying to get DH to take a bit more of a lead
So on holiday when DS in the kids club we decide to have a bit of adult time
DH grabs me and pulls me into the shower as things are heating up and then a series of disasters.
I try to seductively move my lips down his body and end up catching the shower handle with my arse and turning the shower boiling hot. So we are both yelping and DH manages to turn it down.
DH while trying to masterfully push me up against the wall catches the shower handle again and turns the shower freezing cold. I dive out the shower and slip on the floor bang my knee and nose
End up sat on the bed holding a bloody nose soaking wet with DH trying to pat me dry saying sorry
A lot to be said for the bed I think

BruceAndNosh Fri 19-Apr-19 11:16:16

Shower sex is very overrated. And dangerous

sonjadog Fri 19-Apr-19 11:21:29

You need a bigger shower and a non-slip mat.

IncrediblySadToo Fri 19-Apr-19 11:23:06

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Sorry, but 🤣😂

It’s seldom like the movies! But it’s seldom like the movies, in the movies, they just get 746 billion retakes and don’t even pretend to enjoy it.

As long as you and DH can laugh about it, it’s ok 😊

LaganOnABubble Fri 19-Apr-19 11:24:10

Hahahahah

We tried similar once - it did not end well (for us or the shower cabinet)

Driftingthoughlife Fri 19-Apr-19 11:25:22

We are laughing now

FiveShelties Fri 19-Apr-19 11:31:48

I am so sorry but it made me laugh too.

Enjoy your holidaygrin

fussychica Fri 19-Apr-19 11:39:53

gringrin well that gave me a good laugh, thanks for sharing!

nauseous5000 Fri 19-Apr-19 11:54:16

Ha, yeah. Not a fan! DP decided it would be really sensual for him to wash my hair, but got so much shampoo in my eyes and mouth I was retching and crying. He didn't even wash out the shampoo he got in my hair very well! I think we're just better at boring sex!

notapizzaeater Fri 19-Apr-19 12:47:29

gringringrin that sounds like something that would happen to us

MinnieMountain Fri 19-Apr-19 12:49:47

Sex off a bed is overrated. Comfy bed means you can concentrate on the sex.

becca3210 Fri 19-Apr-19 12:51:35

So funny thanks for posting. Top marks for effort grin

cloudymelonade Fri 19-Apr-19 12:51:45

When we had the bathroom redone we chose a huuuge shower cubicle for this reason alone after a similar incident in our old one 😂

Nuttyaboutnutella Fri 19-Apr-19 12:55:28

This should make this the shower sex scene in a movie grin

SockQueen Fri 19-Apr-19 12:59:24

The first time DH and I tried shower sex he somehow fell backwards out of the bath and landed on the floor, badly winded. I genuinely thought he might be paralysed for a minute.

Several subsequent less dramatic failures have led us to conclude we are just not suited to standing-up sex.

DuggeesWoggle Fri 19-Apr-19 15:47:28

We tried it once on honeymoon - large walk in shower.

Not very sexy at all - whoever wasn't directly under the showerhead just got cold.

Mind you we were in Scotland grin

Driftingthoughlife Fri 19-Apr-19 15:48:47

Has anyone had successful shower sex just out of interest.
My nose is better now but my knee is killing

Whoops75 Fri 19-Apr-19 15:50:45

🤣🤣🤣
One time thing here too, nothing wrong with sticking to the classics

DuggeesWoggle Fri 19-Apr-19 15:51:16

We also tried it on a heather moorland....in January....

We were TTC at the time and I was in the mad 'I'm OVULATING!' frame of mind. But no. Not to be recommended. Not sure what we were thinking tbh! confused

Chartreuser Fri 19-Apr-19 15:54:34

We have successfully managed it, but would thoroughly recommend a) a good strong lock on the door; and b) but getting wet first else you end up freezing.

Also don't look down!

breaker Fri 19-Apr-19 15:55:54

Did it, hated it. Tried again in a huge walk in shower built for a rugby team, specifically designed with sex in mind, hated that too 🤬

donajimena Fri 19-Apr-19 15:57:17

Unless you have an amazing shower with rainforest effect and side jets one of you always ends up frozen. So I've heard.

GooodMythicalMorning Fri 19-Apr-19 15:58:52

We tried it when I was 33 weeks pregnant in a butlins chalet shower. (We'd gone away with mil and fil and was only private place!) small enclosed space with massive bump made the task almost impossible. We did laugh about it after though.

Whoops75 Fri 19-Apr-19 16:01:06

I would need there to be a massive shower head, a nook for my foot and something to grab for balance.

Even then I wouldn’t love it hmm

aposterhasnoname Fri 19-Apr-19 16:01:58

Outside shower in the Maldives. Some charmer chucked an empty coke bottle over the wall midway through and hit DH on the arse.

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