How does everyone cope with the busyness of everyday life?(41 Posts)
I feel completely swamped by it all at the moment.
I feel like I'm failing everywhere; forgetting things, late for everything because I'm always rushing, feeling like even though I am doing one thing I need to be doing something else or be somewhere else.
I feel like I need to be more organised, but I'm not even sure that would help.
I just need to be less busy, but I'm doing the bare essentials only at the moment and it still feels too much!
How does everyone manage?!
Sorry to hear you're feeling swamped.
I think being organised definitely helps. I diarise absolutely everything (things like if the DCs need to bring something to school, for example) and then I'm always looking ahead in my diary so I'm prepared for the coming weeks. That way there's no last minute rush trying to sort something out.
I don't think there's a magic solution. There just always seems too much to do!
We've found a shared calendar on our phones helps, with plenty of notifications in advance.
I try to do as much stuff in advance as I can (e.g. Birthday gifts bought as soon as DCs get a party invite). It doesn't cut down on what you have to do, but it makes it less rushy, and gives you a smug feeling for a few minutes! I also do all admin as soon as it appears. If u leave it, I forget about it, and then it turns into a 'thing' which stresses me out and makes me flustered.
Also, recently I discovered that you can buy birthday cards in advance on Funky Pigeon and set the delivery date. That was a happy moment!
I still rush around all over the place though and I'm always saying "I have no time!!".
I hear you.
I have found myself in trouble a few times through getting overwhelmed by the busyness of life (overlooking important admin, not coping at work etc)
One thing I consider important now is to schedule down time. You need time to switch off and do nothing or do a relaxing quiet activity. So, make that time and protect it - regardless of what needs doing (your to-do list never gets to an end anyway!).
I write down everything in a book . I keep it with me. I have a page for every week and then I also have a page for general shit it'd be nice to get to this month " (there's often stuff as small as" text Ann" on that one)
If I have a minute at work, on my lunch break, I make a call to one of the people on my list: plumber /school/whatever.
On my days off I write down what I can blitz through in terms of errands: Argos/Aldi/bike shop/petrol/hairdresser and give myself a time, say 9am to 11.30am. That's so I get back home by lunchtime.
I treat it like a race against time and sometimes have really dramatic and exciting music playing in my head and pretend I'm in a movie where I have to hit all these places or else! Like I'm Jason Statham or something, lol.
(it totally works though)
I'm autistic, so everything has a set time.
Maybe it's because I only have the one child but I don't feel swamped a lot of the time.
One child (at school)
not too fussy about housework but me and DH do some at the weekend
try to get at least a couple of meals cooked at the weekend for the week
don't do endless amounts of laundry
DD doesn't do loads of activities
Don't do loads of extended family things (none that local)
(we both also work full time, and we both get bits done at lunchtime)
I do find that you can be more effective in a concerted 40 min effort than wafting for a couple of hours.
But I have plenty of time to read and drink tea and do the crossword
Why don't you give us your list and we can see if we can help you break it down?
Agree with writing everything down, lists lists lists, and doing things in advance wherever possible.
Some more things I do to cope:
-Online supermarket shopping , I bulk buy a lot (nappies, cleaning stuff, tinned stuff) so that I don’t have to think about it very often.
-Amazon prime / eBay for a lot of other stuff
-fitting in phone calls/admin on lunch break like pp
-have a washer dryer and basically tumble dry everything automatically after washing
-gave up ironing unless essential
-have a few more hours childcare than I actually need (I finish work early on a wed but don’t pick 1yo dd up till 5- I get extra jobs like weeding or sorting the car out during this time).
-only cook quick meals 90% of the time (have about 10 I rotate)
-have a 20 min tidying up routine which I do religiously after dd is asleep
-put very little pressure on myself to do exciting things at the weekends/am careful not to overcommit. I do a lot of pottering and local stuff with dd at weekend then dh will take her out for a so I can get jobs done. It’s boring but stops me going mad with stress.
-I used to do all diy along with dh but now we have dd (and I’m heavily pregnant) we tend to suck it up
And pay a handyman or else things just would not get done).
I use one of those online task management systems. It is helpful but you have to be organised to give it half an hour a day to programme in everything.
I'm totally with you OP. I feel completely swamped. I NEVER seem to get the 'important but not urgent' jobs on my list done, EVER. Constantly firefighting the day-to-day demands, and mostly tired and ground down by it all. I think I am productive, but just not naturally organised or efficient, so it's always a battle. Can people change and force themselves to become more Elspeth above, do you think? Or are we just wired a certain way and stuck with that for life?
No idea, how people do it either op.
I'm constantly chasing my tail and feel like my heart is racing all day long! It's horrible. I'm hoping it gets easier when my toddler and baby decide to give me more than 4 hours sleep at night!!
Oh yes, I also just bung everything in the washing machine. On another thread yesterday people were doing mad separations and making such work for themselves.
I fuck it all in together and never iron a single thing. That frees up my life considerably.
Also got my cosmetics bag down to 4 products and can Get dressed , do hair and a reasonable make up look in 5 mins ! Wear black skinny jeans, a nice t shirt and a cardigan most days. I look boring but “good enough”!
I wonder this as well. I work part-time on a self-employed basis and work sometimes creeps into the evenings. I already do no ironing and tumble dry almost everything and dont do an awful lot of cooking, mainly simple things like pasta. DH and I share school runs and taking the kids to football (training 3 times a week, plus Sunday matches for both). I tend to try and be ahead with school stuff, or opt out if I can occasionally, DS2 still at primary. I have a family calendar which helps, quite old fashioned I know. I tend to write to do lists a lot. I feel permanently knackered though and as if nothing gets done well. Would be lovely to feel as if I was doing a good job occasionally rather than the bare minimum.
I hear you, I'm run ragged. My kids are 4 & 9, I work 4 days a week and DH works away all week at the moment. I spend my evenings doing jobs so that the weekends are free to do 'stuff'. I work from home 2 days a week which does help with things like getting my Tesco shop delivered, chucking a big meal in the slow cooker, getting laundry done. I also do admin in my lunch hour. I have lists, and lists of lists! If I'm feeling stressed I write down my jobs and then as I work through them and score them off I gradually feel calmer.
I think OP is too busy to come back
Haha, pretty much! Planning to reply once kids are in bed..
1) Shared online calendar.
2) Slow cooker.
4) RSVP or book the thing on parent pay as soon as you get the letter/invite.
5) Spend 30 mins meal planning every week and get ocado to deliver- ensure at least 2 meals are easy like bagels and scrambled egg.
6) Be realistic with what you can get done in a be morning, don't over schedule.
Lists and apps.
I have an app called remember the milk where I put tasks and give them a category eg phone, home, child1, child2, holidays.
So I can look and see who I need to ring or what I need to pick up when I’m in town.
I also have a paper calendar and a whiteboard on the wall in the kitchen. On Sunday I write down activities for the following week on the white board and sometimes what we’re having for tea or what we had so DP doesn’t give dc the same tea I gave them the night before!
I've been a lone parent for years and have just learned to multitask like a mofo and do everything really quickly I'm also fastidious about dealing with stuff as soon as it comes in so I'm not under pressure. Thinking about it, these skills have served me well at work too.
I deep clean a bit of the house every day, have a regular place for things like keys and chuck or charity shop anything we don't use so there's less to tidy.
That said, there are some days where we just feel we're racing from one thing to the next and it's hard to know what to cut out between job, school, vital errands and activities. I take a deep breath and remind myself in 10 years time things will be very different!
Not well if I'm honest! I have a busy stressful job, a parent recently diagnosed with cancer and only me to support them, we've been ttc for a number of years with no luck (think I might be peri), a teenage stepchild and a wedding to plan. This is on top of the usual life and home admin and constantly feeling like I am neglecting my friends. I also resemble some sort of homeless person because fuck anyone that thinks I have time or headspace to worry about hair/makeup/clothes!! Luckily I have an amazing dp who is 100% my partner in it all - but I still have many sleepless nights and suffer from stress migraines and palpitations 😞 I basically feel like I am failing in every single aspect of my life, so if anyone has cracked it, I would love to know!!
Wow, that was some sort of mind fart right there 😂 sorry everyone but it's the first time I've actually listed it all!!
Lots of great things listed already so I won't repeat but when I stopped drinking alcohol I became SO much more productive, energised, organised....... it's worth considering !!
I prioritise ruthlessly and try very hard to avoid unnecessary commitments. Years ago I realised that about 70% of the things on my to-do list weren't essential, so I just crossed them all out without doing them.
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