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CF golden rules

(25 Posts)
Urgh2019 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:56:02

I drive past an industrial estate and there is a company with the initials CF, which obviously always makes me think of MN.
Anyway I drove past today and there is a sign by their security gate which says ‘CF Golden Rules’ which is probably stuff about site safety blah blah.....

However, instead I would be interested in your Cheeky Fucker golden rules instead grin

mumsie8 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:57:09

Never take no for an answer

Urgh2019 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:58:11

I googled them, they make fertilisers...

Urgh2019 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:59:13

My contribution... of course everyone wants to look after your children, all the time, for free, no matter the inconvenience.

mumsie8 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:59:58

Or in CF territory, No is not a complete sentence grin

Myusernameismud Fri 22-Feb-19 00:00:30

Park on people's driveways or across dropped kerbs, always.

Never pay for childcare, that's what part time/WFH friends are for!

Borrow things from friends, and lose them or give them back broken.

Can't think of anymore for now, I'm sure eill be back though. I am the ultimate CF.

Disclaimer: I'm not really....

SunnyForMe Fri 22-Feb-19 00:01:44

Why do something yourself when you can make somebody else do it for you? (For free, of course!)

TinselAndKnickers Fri 22-Feb-19 00:02:05

You must always play the victim - ALWAYS!

ShadyLady53 Fri 22-Feb-19 00:05:05

“Why wait to be invited when you can invite yourself?”

Mumshappy Fri 22-Feb-19 00:13:30

Always impose on others and overstay your welcome
Your needs and wants come before anyone elses.
Never pay back any money borrowed

C0untDucku1a Fri 22-Feb-19 00:18:59

Ask you to take their child on an outing with your children in front of all the children, with ten minutes notice, snd send them with £2 to spend on lunch.

Ask to borrow items constantly, ranging from camping equipment to hair accessories. Never give anything back.

Make a fuss over your dd having half a tin of soup at your house. Oh the cost!

I may be projecting...

ShadyLady53 Fri 22-Feb-19 00:26:06

Yep...”Why pay for something when you can steal borrow it?”

“Why save money in advance or go without like a normal human when you can just demand loans you’ll never repay from friends and family?”

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Fri 22-Feb-19 00:26:23

Complain regularly and loudly about how hard life is for you. Fail to notice any difficulties experienced by those around you.

<what a great thread!>

SneakyGremlins Fri 22-Feb-19 00:26:32

Why parent your own children when you can get some mug to do it for you?

GreenTulips Fri 22-Feb-19 00:28:05

It’s all about me!

CF always think everyone else thinks the same way they do and come unstuck when they realise it’s not true

PodgeBod Fri 22-Feb-19 00:28:44

Just ask, they might feel too embarrassed to say no!

nutellalove Fri 22-Feb-19 00:29:17

Always split the bill equally if I've had £50 more food/drink than others.

Split the bill to the last penny if my meal cost £0.03 less than anyone else's at the table

CigarsofthePharoahs Fri 22-Feb-19 07:32:10

You don't need to ask, it's fine to just take stuff. You'll probably get round to giving it back - eventually. If someone complains you've taken something then just tell them to calm down and then critique them on their "unchristian attitude".
Also those blue signs in the car park that look like someone sat in a half circle don't mean anything. You can park there, preferably at a very jaunty angle so no-one else can fit in next to you and bonus points for blocking the ramp into the building too.
Besides, you know you deserve adoration just for turning up! Everyone should bask in your presence and laugh at your bad and frankly offensive "jokes".

I need to stop now. It's a good job my natural blood pressure is actually on the very low side or I think some people would make my head explode.

JumpOrBePushed Fri 22-Feb-19 07:52:38

The number one rule is to always remember that you are the most important person in the world and so what you want should be the top priority for everyone.

HeartZone Fri 22-Feb-19 08:03:18

If something is offered for free on Facebook or the like, ask when they can deliver it to you 😂 but you’re not in this day, that day, etc.

Connieston Fri 22-Feb-19 08:06:02

In every event, whether funeral, wedding, birth of someones baby, your feelings and needs are the most important.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz Fri 22-Feb-19 08:06:38

Slightly off thread but on the estate I live on there is a car with the reg LTB!

Makes me smile and think of Mumsnet every time!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Fri 22-Feb-19 08:20:18

You have three default setings, disingenuous, outrage and ignorant. Bonus points for all three at once.
Why admit you may be wrong, you never are.

UghFletcher Fri 22-Feb-19 08:38:28

Easy.. just be my ex SIL grin

* play the victim constantly
* completely gloss over your disgusting behaviour
* anyone who disagrees with you is awful
* be entitled to any and all money that you can get your hands on
* see nothing wrong with others constantly looking after your children for free

UghFletcher Fri 22-Feb-19 08:39:10

Sorry, bold fail 😑

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