Nasty neighbours(44 Posts)
Very long post alert!!
I have namechanged for this as I have also posted on childminding site on Facebook and it is very outing (I am a childminder).
In December 2018 we had new neighbours (the house used to belong to my mother and father in law), from day one they have caused a nuisance. We have a shared drive (the only access to my house) and they blocked it for 48 hours with 2 big removal vans. We had solar panels installed in January and they were abusive to the work men. They’ve hammered on the door whilst I was working hurling abuse at me (and swearing) because they said the workmen I had were aggressive. A complete lie as the guys that were working were father and son, whose wife/mum was a childminder. They were so polite and respectful, were happy to answer the children’s questions and let them watch etc.
Fast forward to a fortnight ago, we had lights fitted along the access drive (their property) whilst it was still my husband parents property. This was more to keep my eldest children safe (21 & 18) when they came home late as we live in the countryside and the street lights are turned off at midnight). Two weeks ago the new house owners removed them. We sent them a message saying that if they were no longer needed could we please have them back so we can fit them onto our property. We got a recorded delivery letter 3 days later saying that it was their wall and they bought the house including fixtures and fittings so they can do with them which they so wish blah blah blah. Then they went on to say that anything else on that wall that used to belong to us is now their property and if we want it back we have 7 days to put it in writing, and then they’ll decide if we can have it or not 🙄
Today (yesterday I suppose), we had another letter through stating that I have 14 days to cease trading as it is in the covenant that no kind of business whatsoever is to be run from my premises 😢😫 and that we didn’t ask for permission (as should be sought by the covenant) to have the solar panels installed so we have to remove them to??
Now I know that childminding isn’t the same as running a business, it’s working from home but after a phone call to the solicitors, they might have a point because it says no kind of business at all. It’s taken me 9 years to build my reputation, I have 20 children on my books and an assistant! I absolutely love my job with every fibre of my being! I live in a small town and I’m very well respected, I have a waiting list as do most of my fellow Childminder’s in my area as there simply isn’t enough childcare provision as it is! What the hell do I do??
My husband has an appointment at the solicitors in the morning but I’m not sure what good it will do! 😩
Sorry for rambling and thank you if you got this far, I have nobody else I can talk to in the small hours of the morning! — ￼feeling devastated.
I have to say that I agree with Houseofgoldandbones and motherofdragons. I did think it might be a reverse at first but I'm guessing it's not from your later posts. I could certainly imagine the neighbour getting a lot of sympathy here if she posted her side of the story for the reasons above. You also seem to be very dismissive of her concern that the workmen were aggressive to her. Saying that she was a liar because 'the guys that were working were father and son, whose wife/mum was a childminder' doesn't really make much sense. If they were aggressive and then you dismissed her like that, it was probably the catalyst for them refusing to engage directly and sending recorded letters instead. I can see that it's a stressful situation and it must be extremely worrying to have everything you've worked for at risk but it sounds to me as if there has probably been fault from both sides. I hope that you can do something to salvage the relationship as it's going to be really difficult if you are neighbours in the long term.
In my council, it depends if you have an assistant you become a business. So get onto yours and see what's what.
Some councils let you have one assistant.
You are working from home if you're a Childminder, assistants change that.
Oh dear, the whole thing sounds a mess which has gone nuclear. I think that if the relationship has truly broken down then you need to rely on the law to get you through, and hope you can find a way through the law to make sure you’re on the right side of it.
It does sound like you have an extended sense of ownership over land and property that you don’t have any rights or ownership over. It must be strange to let go of something that has been in the family for at least two generations, but you have to understand that you don’t own it anymore.
I suspect that you’ve made your neighbours feel very uncomfortable with this attitude, and threatened, as you’ve kept laying claim to their home that they’ve bought and paid for! It’s not an excuse for the aggression and rudeness but it’s certainly an explanation.
If you threaten people where it really counts (home, family, life or limb!).... they tend to defend themselves vigorously.
I hope you manage to get yourselves get of this pickle. I’d stop ‘right-fighting’ and try to gain insight. Face up to the reality of how you got here, with problems from both sides, and most importantly, where you go from here.
Having 20 children on my books doesn't mean that I have 20 children here at once. The children range from 1yr to 10yrs, I only ever have a maximum of 6 children here at any one time. There is absolutely no noise disturbance to them as there's at least 50 feet from our house to theirs.
And we don't have a mortgage, we own our house.
You really have to check also about this 'no buiness use' at the property. Often this means that nobody can get an official change of use to include business use as well as residential included in the planning. You're still allowed to do business work at a resisential property. For example if you were a self employed plumber you'd still sit on your phone or laptop in the house while sending invoices and receipts, so while technically they're conducting business activities they aren't using the actual property for business purposes. Your problem would be as i said if your assistant's place of work is listed as your address it might be tricky If you can bring yourself to eat humble pie, a letter of apology maybe if they felt offended by the workmen?
We've tried to both apologise in person (door slammed in face) and sent a written apology which has been ignored. We've had a letter to say that if we pay them £250 we can keep the solar panels. I think if we offered them a large sum of money they would turn a blind eye to my childminding too as the wording on the letter was something like "would maybe be able to come to a financial arrangement ."
They knew what I did before they bought the house and the amount of children I have. The lady sat with us for an hour whilst her husband had some things to take care of in town. She went on at how lovely it would be if her boys could come here and what a nurturing environment it was.
Neither of them work, they bought the house as cash buyers (large old 5 bed Victorian house).
A part of me is worried that they are a pair of con artists and if we pay them off, this won't be the end.
Don't pay them any money.
Get legal advice and stick to it.
What is the issue with the solar panels- is it also a covenant issue or that that you needed planning permission for them? Either way, paying off the neighbours will not not resolve the issue, it will only open you up to more requests for money. If it is a planning issue talk to the council- I'm not a planning expert but have just built a house and was advised that planning permission for things like solar panels (that are usually allowed under permitted development) would be granted without issue down the line.
I was told by the planning department once that childminding (if you don't have an assistant) is not considered a business anymore than office based work check with your childmind association (its changed names now?) she would have difficulty continuing this & boy would it cost her - try CAB
So what did the solicitors advise your husband?
Bloody hell 6 kids with parents conning and going over a shared access and you think they are the ones with the problem 😂
The lights do belong to them. If I moved into what seemed a quiet location with no business signage then discovered there were up to 20 small children coming and going, in cars presumably and early mornings too, I’d be very cheesed off too. Did your in-laws disclose that before they bought the house? Even if they mentioned you were a childminder, to me that would suggest single figure children, not 20, that’s a small private nursery.
I can see their point of view, sorry.
Sorry, just seen your update so not sure where that leaves you. You really shouldn’t be peeved about the lights though, all of the fixtures and fittings belong to them.
Don't apologise any more. Yes, you were wrong to put lights on their property but I don't think they're going to be able to enforce you to cease trading - and I'm guessing since it's your livelihood that's the most important.
Only deal with them through solicitors, do not fall victim to blackmail
I wouldn’t take any of this advice re legalisties at face value. Restrictive covenants can sometime be in rem rather than personam. It depends really on how it’s drafted, registered, jurisdiction etc. I hope this gets sorted out. I appreciate that living next door to a childminder would be a pain but the solar pannel thing suggests they’re just causing trouble.
Fgs don’t start giving them any money! I do think it was weird that you expected them to give you the solar lights though... that was clearly part of the fixtures and fittings. Sounds like things got off on the wrong foot with you staking a claim on a property which is nothing to do with you any more.
Once it was sold you needed to mentally let go.
No idea about the covenant and whether the childminding would constitute a business. You need proper legal advice on that. Having 20 kids on the books and employing an assistant certainly sounds a different arrangement from your average childminder.
I cannot honestly believe that you sent them email to ask if you could have the lights back... that is beyond ridiculous.
Also are you being totally honest in the zero noise pollution comment? I would imagine having enough children being minded that you need an assistant would cause noise... also parents dropping off/picking up... do they block neighbours access?
I have a next door neighbour who runs a business from home it's a massive source of annoyance for me. Yes we knew he did it when we bought the house but the nature of his business has changed in the 10 years we've been here - when we first moved in he worked out of the home now he works at home most of the day banging & clattering with vehicles up & down constantly. Were you a smaller business when they moved in?
Hi OP, I'm a cm too, totally understand that having 20 kids on your books does NOT mean they are all these at once.
Are you a member of pacey ? I would get some legal advice from them.
For what it's worth, I am a very busy cm and have zero problems with my neighbours. I am out with the children during the day, back after school run, and they've all gone home by 6p.m.. my neighbours would much rather have me next door than people who are noisy in the evening/through the night.
But definitely get some legal advice. Good luck x
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