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Teenager paying for takeaway

(192 Posts)
dontknowwhattodo80 Wed 20-Feb-19 14:48:08

Hi all!

Interested to see what others think of this first world scenario.

DS is 15. He gets pocket money every week, which sometimes he uses to buy a joint take away with friends on a Friday night ( when we aren't having a take away ). His money, his choice what he uses it for.

Tonight we have friends coming over and we're getting in pizzas ( take away). DS1 is currently out with friends and has one staying tonight. Originally they were going to be out past the point we'd be eating and would have sorted themselves out ( ordered own pizza later or eaten in town).

They're now going to be back in time and DS checked whether they'd be able to have pizza with us, which I said yes.

DH thinks that DS is being really cheeky. Effectively is expecting us to pay for something he was going to pay for himself- it's his choice to be out ( arranged before we arranged to have people round).

My stance is that we're having a take away. If DS was at home as normal he'd be having the take away with us- paid for by us. His friend is staying as our guest- so we feed him. I feel that even if DS missed the take away time with us then I'd probably give him money to sort himself out for tea.

So, after reading that essay, what would be your opinion on this?

HalfBloodPrincess Wed 20-Feb-19 14:50:16

If you were cooking and he decided he didn’t want it then he should pay for his own alternative, but if that’s the evening meal then of course he shouldn’t pay!

SlinkyDinkyDoo Wed 20-Feb-19 14:51:00

Pay for all the pizza! If you were cooking a meal and his friend was round for tea you wouldn't charge him would you?

Your husband is mega tight imo

Noteventhebestdrummer Wed 20-Feb-19 14:51:47

Honestly? Just be a good parent and get the kids a pizza! It's not like he planned to take advantage of you, it's not as if he has a big earning potential.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Wed 20-Feb-19 14:52:23

In your shoes I would pay for his pizza and ask him to bring a cheesecake in from Tesco for all for later!

BitchQueen90 Wed 20-Feb-19 14:52:32

Your DH sounds tight! Begrudging a few quid for his teenage son and a mate to have a takeaway?

dontknowwhattodo80 Wed 20-Feb-19 14:58:04

Thanks all

I am softer than DH so sometimes it's hard to work out which one of us is right!

Love the cheesecake idea, DS would be happy to sort that!

LovingLola Wed 20-Feb-19 15:04:46

Your son is 15 years old. Your husband is coming across as a stingy bastard. I cannot believe what I read on MN sometimes ..

crimsonlake Wed 20-Feb-19 15:05:01

I cannot believe I am reading this. Is your husband so tight that he would begrudge buying your son and friend the extra pizza. Surely aside from that there should be food freely available in the house so that he does not have to spend his pocket money to feed himself if he misses a family meal. Unbelievable.

Ribbonsonabox Wed 20-Feb-19 15:06:42

Your husband is being mega tight.... unless you've got serious financial issues who on earth would begrudge their child ordering a bit extra takeaway that you were ordering anyway??

NabooThatsWho Wed 20-Feb-19 15:09:51

Your husband is being a tight git.
Buy your child and his friend the pizza.
It’s unbelievable to me that you would consider not buying it.

PinkHeart5914 Wed 20-Feb-19 15:10:07

His 15, Yes I’d pay for his & friends pizza becuase his a child and your ordering anyway.

Isn’t this what parents do? You know pay for the child and friend dinner occasionally when they are over

Frenchfancy Wed 20-Feb-19 15:10:21

Your DH is being tight. Your family meal tonight is pizza. Your DS is part of the family. He is 15 not 25!

Hot4Holes Wed 20-Feb-19 15:11:45

I’d just get him the pizza. He’s your child.

My dad still buys my food if we go out, it’s the perks of being the child!

Thingswillbebeok Wed 20-Feb-19 15:14:39

Of course he shouldn't have to pay. It's his evening meal. It would be different if he was going out for the evening

mrsm43s Wed 20-Feb-19 15:27:23

So do you normally not offer his friends an evening meal, and expect them to pay for their own takeaway? I think that's tight.

Yes, I would be paying for your son and his friends pizza tonight. TBH I'd expect to provide dinner for him any invited friends every weekend. I wouldn't be getting a takeaway every week, but I'd certainly be providing dinner, and not expecting your son or his friends to pay for it.

dontknowwhattodo80 Wed 20-Feb-19 15:29:03

Thanks for all your opinions

As I said I am a softie, but even by DH's usual standards I thought it was a harsh opinion! Anyway, it's happening so DH will just have to deal with it, I just wondered if I was wrong with my shock about what he said!

caperplips Wed 20-Feb-19 15:29:31

Crikey! I can't believe your dh thinks your son should buy his own dinner and his friends. Unbelievably mean and tight and I would be hugely pissed off with my dh if he suggested this arrangement!!
And I speak as someone who has a slightly younger teen who likes to spend some of her pocket money on McDonalds / Starbucks when out with friends at the weekend but I would never dream of making her pay for her own dinner at home!

icannotremember Wed 20-Feb-19 15:31:18

Your DH sounds mean and weird.

caperplips Wed 20-Feb-19 15:32:05

And I would not ask / expect him to spend his pocket money on cheesecake for the household including your 'invited' guests!

There really are days when MN amazes me

FenellaMaxwell Wed 20-Feb-19 15:33:01

If I, as a child, was invited round to a friend’s house and they charged me for dinner, I would be shock Your husband sounds like an arse.

ScarletBitch Wed 20-Feb-19 15:33:38

Oh ffs your DH is moaning about his son's tea????

dontknowwhattodo80 Wed 20-Feb-19 15:33:58

@mrsm43s - sorry if I've misunderstood what you mean..... paying for takeaway out of his pocket money is when he's chosen, with his friends, to have a take away instead of eating a cooked meal with us. Sometimes it's at our house, sometimes it's at others. If friends have been invited to stay over etc ( like tonight) then I would expect to treat them as a guest and provide them with a meal, whether that was cooked or a take away if having one.

EssentialHummus Wed 20-Feb-19 15:34:30

A pizza is, what, £3 from the supermarket or maybe £10 from Domino’s? And your DH would begrudge that?

NannyRed Wed 20-Feb-19 15:39:05

Does your dh often resent feeding your children?

He sounds tight-fisted at the very least.

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