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Worst things your parents said to you

(207 Posts)
LuckyAmy1986 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:14:10

As a teen, my dad called me 'loose' and a 'cunt' - not both at the same time. I am in my thirties now and still haven't forgotten/got over it! Is this normal? Wanted to know if other people had similar experiences.

Stoplosingthedarnkeys Tue 19-Feb-19 18:28:52

I saw my mother a few weeks before she died. It was Christmas and we took some presents. The last thing she said to me was that she hoped I would burn in hell.

legalseagull Tue 19-Feb-19 18:33:06

How awful! What a dick. My mother is wonderful and would never say anything like that, however, every time I was ever upset about anything she would tell me to "stop being so dramatic" or to "get a grip". For everything. It really got to me and I find myself thinking it and not letting myself be upset.

legalseagull Tue 19-Feb-19 18:34:00

Oh and "stop being so pathetic"

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:35:23

@Stopelosingthedarnkeys Wow - did you generally have a bad relationship with her? If you don't mind me asking of course.

@legalseagull I can see why that would have an effect on you, contsantly having to stifle your emotions

WhatHaveIFound Tue 19-Feb-19 18:37:05

My mother told me I was a 'mistake' and it's stuck with me all my life. I don't think she really wanted two children close together sad

user1498572889 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:37:16

When my mum died I was a teenager and my father told me he wished I had died instead.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:39:14

Some really awful ones here.

I had a great relationship with my dad, I thought at the time. But all these years later i now thing about these things, the things he said to me, and did (e.g. drink driving with me in the car) and I find myself feeling very bitter. We are very distant at the moment.

Hedgehogblues Tue 19-Feb-19 18:40:42

Just a few from my mother:
I wish you weren't my daughter
I wish I'd never had you (am adopted, not like I was an accident)
You are worthless and no one is ever going to love you
You are going to burn in hell
You don't have any friends people just feel sorry for you
You are a brazen hussy and will end up as a prostitute

Unsurprisingly I've been NC for ten years

NicksWife08 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:41:02

My mother told me a number of times that she hated me and wished I was dead. I no longer have a relationship with her.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:41:25

@WhatHaveIFound how old were you when she said that?

@user1498572889 really sorry to hear that. My mum died as a teen too which is awful enough in itself but to have your dad say that to you on top. Do you still have a relationship with him?

GMtoBe Tue 19-Feb-19 18:42:07

My mum told me I was a slag when I was 15. Told me to stop behaving like a prostitute when I was 12. I can still remember the shame I felt both times.

My dad has said many, many awful things but the one that hurt the most was a couple of months before my wedding. I told him that because he had lied to me about having cancer (the latest in a long line of lies from him along with chronic alcoholism) that he was no longer welcome at my wedding. He said "I didn't want to come any way". We've been NC for nearly 3 years.

LuckyAmy1986 Tue 19-Feb-19 18:43:36

To the people who have gone NC - do you, or did you, feel guilty about it? My dad makes me unhappy a lot of the time, or thinking about him even. But yet I feel he hasn't been awful enough for me to go NC, although I think it would be better for my mental health.

onyabikeivy Tue 19-Feb-19 18:44:05

2 things stand out, when I was about 15 I slept round my best friends house and when my mum came to pick me up she was in the car at the end of the drive, I got in and the first thing she spat was I'd walked down the drive like "tomorrow will do" I can honestly say I was just walking, i still remember her tone and expression on her face.... numerous outbursts like that through out the years, then my favourite, 7 years ago I split from my husband and had to move back to my parents and one day my mum knocked on my room and asked what was happening with my divorce, like she was really pissed off with me for it taking almost a year, I asked why she never takes an interest in anything I do apart from to have an argument and she said she "would if I ever did anything to be proud of" thanks mum

BlueMerchant Tue 19-Feb-19 18:44:26

My mum went to get rid of me but unfortunately she had left it too late.
I also went to school being told most days that when I got home she'd be dead

InsomniaTho Tue 19-Feb-19 18:44:44

“I should have aborted you”

“He’s not even your actual Dad, you know”

Thanks Ma, really appreciated both of those at 14.

Needless to say I’ve been NC for my entire adult life.

marshmallowkittycat Tue 19-Feb-19 18:45:52

Oh there's so many. One that always sticks in my mind is this that was said to me by my mum. I was probably about 8.

"I love to wind you up and make you cry as it's so easy to do and that makes it really funny".

Her favourite name for me was 'little shit' while slapping my face over and over.

BlueMerchant Tue 19-Feb-19 18:45:57

Oh and when my boyfriend left me she told me it was only a matter of time before he found someone better looking!

InsomniaTho Tue 19-Feb-19 18:46:15

No I don’t feel guilty for NC. She abused me mentally and I had to build myself from scratch, I had/have no idea how to parent because I don’t have a decent blueprint to work from, despite lots of therapy her words still fucking wreck most aspects of my life from time to time.

BreevandercampLGJ Tue 19-Feb-19 18:46:38

Threads are limited to a 1000 posts iirc, if I posted everything I remembered as I remembered it the thread would be full PDQ. grin

So in the interests of fairness I will retire now. grin grin

Though I will offer this...

Me. Not just a pretty face.

Him. Not a pretty face, so it is a good job you have brains.

Hedgehogblues Tue 19-Feb-19 18:48:04

When I first went NC there was a lot of greif and guilt but I'm over it now and am much more mentally healthy without them in my life

Hedwigsradio Tue 19-Feb-19 18:48:12

Dont mess up your life like I did by getting pregnant with you at 16. I know it was meant to be about wanting more for me but it kind of hurt.

"Stop being such a big girls blouse" whenever I was upset.

GoodFortuneAttendThee Tue 19-Feb-19 18:48:36

"Your dad and nod I would have been ok if you had never been born"

Asiama Tue 19-Feb-19 18:49:03

A few from my mum:

1. I was born as a curse from God for marrying my dad.
2. God is going to curse me with bad children because I'm a bad child.
3. I am not pretty enough, not slim enough, not enough hair etc
4. She will abandon me and go back to her country if I disobey her.
5. I don't dress nicely.
6. On informing her that I passed my Masters degree with distinction, she will not be proud of me until I'm married.
7. Asked me to ask my teachers how to give me up for adoption.
8. Told me to drown myself in a river.
9. On my wedding day, told me if I had spent more time looking after myself and less time on decorations, I wouldn't look so ugly.
10. Told me to stay out of photos she was taking of my baby because I look ugly.

Well this has been cathartic!

recreationalcalpol Tue 19-Feb-19 18:49:42

So many things from my DM, I’ve blocked most of them out, but some gems are:

‘You’re too big for your boots, you need to fail’ - I was 14 and doing well at school
‘You’ll get raped if you go out like that, and don’t come crying to me’
‘I hope someone punches you in the face, it will bring you down a peg or two’
‘What’s the point of you going to university, you’re just going to have children and amount to nothing’
‘I don’t know who your father is’ - my father is around but this still niggles me, I’m never quite sure if he’s my dad.

She wonders why I don’t let her see my DC.

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