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Help me do this please!

(7 Posts)
IHRL55 Mon 11-Feb-19 22:49:42

Hello fellow MN's,

I have decided I am going to begin to try and organise a holiday for myself and my family. Ok, what's the big deal you ask? The big deal for me is that I have never done this on my own with them. Ever.

To not drip feed...

My stb-exh (married for 20 years) and I took our last holiday together with our then 2 children who were 5 and 1 in early 2013. We then went on and had our youngest child. All were planned.

He then decided in 2015 to tell me that he was leaving us because he'd found the true love of his life on a dating website set up for married people to have affairs. Very unique I know.

It's been almost 4 years since the split. He has dragged his feet with the divorce (still not finalised but all in hand) as we should 'try again' and it was a mistake that his dick ended up in 6 different vagina's (and I assume other areas) over 3 years on countless occasions with one resulting in a pregnancy where she wasn't sure who the baby belonged to, my stb-exh or her own husband. It was all very pretty with hearts and flowers.

My daughters are now 11, 6 and 5 and I have never, ever taken them anywhere outside of the UK, in fact I haven't even taken them away INSIDE the UK since the split.

Not having the confidence to do it alone has played a huge part in this as have lack of funds. Getting myself together after he left has taken an immense amount of energy and mental resources and a full-time degree in Law has taken up the last 3 years of my life. We made a joint decision, driven by him, that I would be a SAHM after our first child was born as we could afford it and he didn't want them in 'regimented' childcare.
Needless to say when he left I had no career to speak of.

I will this summer be graduating with a first class degree in Law (I'm well over the needed percentage for a 1st)
All 3 are in 'regimented' before and after school care and are thriving and I feel the time is right for me to bring a little sunshine to them before I go into full-time work when they go back to school in September.

My eldest has taken the split the hardest and she's become a very responsible and serious little girl which I love about her but I want her to be a little carefree. If we talk about purchasing anything, she will ask me, 'Mum are you sure we can afford this?' which makes me want to burst with pride but also breaks my heart a little as she shouldn't really have to worry about such things at her age. But I've always been honest with them about our financial situation and they know we are slaves to a budget.

However, none of them have ever been bratty, demanding, rude or remotely negative about the sudden change in lifestyle since the split. Think private schools/pre-school, disposable income, huge family network (on his side) so lots of outings, parties and nice cars to nothing, literally. I have no family on my side and when he left so did his family so all my children have is me and I'm enough and we're a happy little unit.

So, if you've read this far, thank you. smile

For the holiday, I want to take them away during the summer, somewhere safe and warm, with lots for them to do, perhaps a resort? Somewhere where other families would be. I don't know if I'm better planning now for next summer meaning hopefully less cost? Or if I can get a good deal at this stage?
I have no idea about budgets because I don't know what the costs are and when I look online the locations are throwing me.
I would have to factor in flights, accommodation, food (perhaps all inclusive?) and entertainment. I don't think I'd be confident enough to drive them to places so no car hire, I think baby steps!
Unfortunately and shamefully I am a philistine so would need an english speaking location and a beautiful beach nearby. I'm not asking for a lot am I?
What do 7 nights in such places cost? Please help! I just want to bring them some magic and much earned excitement instead of the doom and gloom of the daily grind.

At a push I would be happy to take them somewhere in England too, perhaps a plane journey is too ambitious?
Please give me your thoughts! I need help!!!

Thank you.

namechange21 Mon 11-Feb-19 22:55:08

I took my 5 and 6 year old to Turkey alone last summer. It was amazing! We had the best time ever and the hotel was just beautiful.

The kids will all have a fantastic time. People were so lovely to me when they realised I was on my own with the kids.

It cost £1700 for the week all inclusive.

Congratulations on all your achievements. You should be so proud.

marvellousnightforamooncup Mon 11-Feb-19 22:59:57

We did a Jet2 all inclusive to Lanzarote. I'd never done a package holiday before but it was easy. At least you know with all inclusive you only need spending money for the odd excursion if you want one.

IHRL55 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:00:24

@2amechange21, thank you so much. Could I please ask whereabouts you went? Did you stay in a resort? And is £1700 including flights?

I think it's fantastic you took them alone, I know lots and lots of single parents do it but it's so daunting.

IHRL55 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:02:03

@marvellousnightforamooncup, those are my thoughts with all inclusive, I like to cook so toyed with the idea of self-catering but quickly dropped that as it's one more thing to organise alone with the kids in a new country.

namechange21 Mon 11-Feb-19 23:03:00

It was Liberty Lara. I spent so long researching the hotel and was extremely pleased with it. It was a resort, yes. We left once for a walk but you wouldn’t need to as everything you need is in the resort. The entertainment was great. Apart from buying pool toys we didn’t spend a penny all week.

Unicornfeathers Tue 12-Feb-19 00:55:32

I’m a single parent and always have been but I was exactly the same as you a few years ago.

I started off with a few days at Centre Parcs - yes expensive but all in one place and loads for DS to do.

Then I ventured out to caravan parks in Norfolk - I hate the driving but I did it. I even managed a vomiting DS on my own (with a little help from the wonderful park staff who brought bleach and rubber gloves❤️) and once he was recovered we had a marvellous time.

Then we went abroad - it was a huge step if I’m honest but you know what it was really ok and we had a great time. We budgeted to eat out (only two of us) but for you I would say all inclusive is much better. I compartmentalised the journey there and back (both DS and I are autistic) into little steps. It was ok.

This year I can’t afford a holiday but out of choice I would be going back to Norfolk as we both love it so much.

You have years of going on holiday - start small and work your way up to gain your confidence

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