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Does everyone find teenagers harder than young children?

(67 Posts)
beclev24 Mon 11-Feb-19 22:11:44

I just read a facebook post from a friend who was talking about how awful her teenagers were and how much harder it was than when they were younger. It made for depressing reading.

I have 3 DC aged 8, 5 and 1. All the things she described with her teens- kids being massively overemotional, stroppy, rude, arguing with each other and their parents etc, mine already are! I was so hoping that we could get past the constant high drama when their brains matured a little bit and they had a bit more perspective. Did anyone at all find that parenthood got easier when their kids got older?? Give me some hope!!

Harrykanesrightsock Mon 11-Feb-19 22:16:44

Nope the worries become more serious. Rather than worrying about what reading stage they’re at you worry about career choices and failed exams. Boyfriend dramas. Drugs. Alcohol. And they are so expensive. I’m at peak teen years right now, don’t get me wrong they are good kids and nothing that I’ve listed above has actually come into reality. It’s just there. I long for finger paints and playground tantrums.

lljkk Mon 11-Feb-19 22:17:50

When they are stroppy unreasonable & 5yo, you have to try to teach them better, it's your duty.

When they are stroppy unreasonable & 15yo.. often you can let it go, because they are ready to learn from their own mistakes. It's your duty to let them do that, too.

Teenagers make me laugh. In the middle of being maddening reckless self-centred gits, they can have wickedly funny sense of humour. Their sheer energy is infectious & their silly bloody-mindedness is funny, honest.

theredjellybean Mon 11-Feb-19 22:18:03

I didn't /don't
Hated toddler and early school years.
Teens are wonderful..

WhiteNancy Mon 11-Feb-19 22:18:13

Nope the worries become more serious. Rather than worrying about what reading stage they’re at you worry about career choices and failed exams. Boyfriend dramas. Drugs. Alcohol. And they are so expensive. I’m at peak teen years right now, don’t get me wrong they are good kids and nothing that I’ve listed above has actually come into reality. It’s just there. I long for finger paints and playground tantrums.

This.

lljkk Mon 11-Feb-19 22:19:09

ps: for me, age 6yo was the worst. I honestly rate teens as easier.
Although my youngest wasn't that bad at 6yo. Presumably he'll be the teen from hell.

RandomMess Mon 11-Feb-19 22:20:55

I agree it's the worries that are the worst and you can't make stuff "better" with a kiss, cuddle and reaffirming words.

So far mine haven't been awful and I mostly very much enjoy their company.

MothershipG Mon 11-Feb-19 22:25:38

Noooo, I like teenagers a lot more than toddlers. Obviously I can only speak about mine but they were much harder work when small, I loved them of course but I actually enjoyed them more as they got older. And they didn't get on with each other until they were teenagers.

16 & 18 now and I'll miss them as they head off to Uni, I wasn't expecting that 😂😂

LoniceraJaponica Mon 11-Feb-19 22:26:26

I totally agree with Harrykanesrightsock

I have lost sleep worrying about DD. As a teenager she has had to deal with friendship issues, bullying, boyfriend issues, anxiety and depression. IMO teenagres need you more on an emotional level than small children. I found the primary school years the easiest.

Chocolatecake12 Mon 11-Feb-19 22:33:24

I’m always saying that toddlers are easier than teens.
There’s the worry that pp have mentioned, plus the fact that they know their own mind and cannot he talked round with a chocolate button like a toddler can!
There’s the expense, the independence they crave that you know you should let them have but makes you worry so much.
The decisions they make on their own that wouldn’t be what you would choose for them but you have to let them in order for them to make their own mistakes and grow up as adults.
Sigh
I think there’s high and lows of all ages of children but the teenage years are in my experience the hardest. And I’ve got a 5 year gap so when my eldest reaches 18 my youngest turns 13 and it will start all over again grin

Holidayshopping Mon 11-Feb-19 22:35:54

Nooo-I found 3-5y more difficult! My teens are lovely!

LoniceraJaponica Mon 11-Feb-19 22:37:51

The relentless grind of public exams is also very wearing. DD took two GCSE subjects in year 10, one in the January of year 11 and seven in the June. The following year she had AS exams, then A levels the year after. I am so glad I don't have to go through all of that again.

Wendywoo1000 Mon 11-Feb-19 22:39:37

So far so good. Mine are 17/15/11. Rarely go out with friends (friends like drinking, my older 2 don’t drink), all 3 heavily into sports so we travel a lot.

TheFaerieQueene Mon 11-Feb-19 22:42:26

It’s when they start driving that the really hell begins. My son is 27 with a mortgage and a demanding career. I still worry about him driving.

DramaAlpaca Mon 11-Feb-19 22:46:06

I much preferred having teenagers to having toddlers.

PlatypusPie Mon 11-Feb-19 22:47:17

I found the teen years wonderful - lovely company and at least physically independent. I think we had a slammed door once - compare that to the terrible twos tantrums of DD1 or the 4 year old strops of DD2. I miss the buzz of activity in the house, the friends arriving and the boys hanging hopefully around.

imip Mon 11-Feb-19 22:48:39

I don’t have a teenager yet, but a 12 yo (and 10, 8 and 7yo). I’ve got to say it is much less relentless now than it was when they are younger. That’s even taking into account that 2 have ASD. I can sometimes enjoy the older two, in a way I can’t with the others. I don’t have to be around them all the time. Teaching them independence gives me some back. I know it’s going to be difficult for me as they get older, but hopefully less 24/7.

DiaryofWimpyMumm Mon 11-Feb-19 22:52:24

It's just me and my 2 teenage sons at home and it's interesting. We get along fine. The youngest of the 2 is really really messy and I have to keep on top of his room and he takes a bit of pushing to get him to do well in school but other than that it's fine.

PleaseComeBackSafe Mon 11-Feb-19 22:53:21

Teens are awesome! Much prefer them to toddlers!

Coached Mon 11-Feb-19 22:54:28

Whenever I have publicly moaned about dd (between 2 and 7 yo) either to friends or family, they’ve always responded “wait till they’re teenagers”

It really gets my back up.

Especially when you’re in the middle of it and dealing with what feels like a stroppy teenager 😩

I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for teenagers yet. I suspect they’ll be worse as so many people say the above comment

NotMeNoNo Mon 11-Feb-19 22:56:03

I have 13yo and 14yo boys. Better and worse. School refusal, mental health issues, GSCEs, sexuality, attitude, trying to get them out of bed when they tower over me, hog the bathroom but still manage to smell terrible. On computer games all the time.

On the plus side, good company, can occasionally be helpful, can be left alone for a few hours/half the day. Keep you young with their music and tech stuff.

Really it's better not to know/worry. You don't know how your kids will turn out, probably better than mine! I look back at those cute primary age photos when they ate, wore and went where I wanted them with nostaligia.

SpareASquare Mon 11-Feb-19 22:56:42

I much preferred the teen years. I did have one that did a few really dumb things (nothing malicious) but overall, they were lovely, teens. They are now lovely, responsible adults.

donajimena Mon 11-Feb-19 22:56:54

My eldest was hellish until 13. To the point I actually googled social services. There is obviously backstory to this but nothing untoward.
From 13 - nearly 16 we've been living the dream. Even if it goes tits up tomorrow we are happier now than in the toddler years.

llangennith Mon 11-Feb-19 23:02:43

You get a reprieve once they start school till they're teenagers which lulls you into a sense of false security😂
Teenagers are hard work but you'll get through it. We all did.

OnwardUpwardsSometimesSideways Mon 11-Feb-19 23:42:34

What they said.

Plus you get less cuddles and affection sad

They need you in different ways.

Driving/sex/alcohol/drugs/exams/career and education choices are all bloody big worries with potentially massive consequences.

BUT more free time. Watching them develop into adulthood is amazing.
I miss the cuddles though... you don't want to hug them any less.

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