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What am I missing - 3 wk old unsettled 18 hours a day.

(46 Posts)
thesausagesmademedoit Mon 11-Feb-19 17:35:16

I am so tired I fear this will be quite jumbled but I need some help and advice. I have a very unsettled, crying or screaming baby and I need to know if I’m missing something.

I have a 3 week old. He is formula fed, taking 120mls every 4 hours. Usually taking the lot. From his 6am Feed until midday he is pretty good, goes back to sleep quickly until 10am feed then naps on me, transfers to his carrycot and sleeps for a few hours. From then on he is a grizzly chap until about 8pm when he starts really crying and builds up to full on screaming- last night he was screaming from 11.30 until 3am. Similar the night before.

I have tried 3 types of bottles - Tommee Tippee anti colic, dr Browns and MAM anti colic. I’m using the MAM bottles now alongside infacol as he is better with the teat and would drink a full bottle in 20 or so minutes if I didn’t stop to wind him half way instead of taking up to an hour with Tommee Tippee and dr browns.
Infacol in case it is colic but he burps well.

From 8pm he will only lie on my chest on his tummy but is crying or grizzling constantly - put him down in his Moses basket and he screams. Gets worse as the night goes on.

Sometimes rubbing his tummy or back helps, other times not. Same with a dummy. My neck is full of scratches where he’s clawed at me before I cut his nails. Last night and the night before I spent 2 hours walking up and down the stairs which quietened him But didn’t settle him. . Not great for my c-section sore tummy!

He is rarely sick after a feed; does not show symptoms of a dairy allergy.
He likes to be swaddled in his Moses basket when he goes down at 3am or he jolts himself awake again.

My dp does the 10pm feed and starts the 6am feed but I finish it as he has to leave for his commute. No other help around.
I can’t sleep when baby does now. I’ve passed that line. He’s just gone off to sleep on me. If I move he’ll scream again.

What am I missing other than he’s a 3 week old? He was a superstar for the first week...

Smoggle Mon 11-Feb-19 17:36:55

4 hours is a very long gap between feeds for a newborn.

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 17:42:53

Could be silent reflux, this is what mine had. Is he more comfortable on his tummy?

thesausagesmademedoit Mon 11-Feb-19 17:46:30

@smoggle - he’s done every 4 hours since the moment he arrived. Try any earlier and he refuses it completely.

@loveskaka - I assume he is as that’s how he’s sleeping on me now and when he will doze in the later evening/early hours. But put him to bed and the screaming begins.

thenorthernluce Mon 11-Feb-19 17:47:05

Colic, reflux, CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) - for the later two, they aren’t necessarily sick. My hellish newborn had all three and rarely vomited. Do whatever you can to keep your baby upright, so mine lived in a sling and hated the carrycot. She was screaming as she was in pain from the stomach acid shooting up her oesophagus all the time. Go to the GP to start the process of meds for reflux and potentially investigations for CMPA. You might have to just bear the shit for the newborn phase. My nightmare baby is now an awesome happy toddler. Hugs xxx

CommunistLegoBloc Mon 11-Feb-19 17:47:20

Are you feeding to a schedule or when he cries? 4 hours seems a long time and he could be getting hungry and cross in between. Have you tried offering a feed when he’s grumpy?

Batshitcraziness Mon 11-Feb-19 17:47:39

Silent reflux? Is he pooing ok? Is he generally otherwise well? No temperatures or signs of being unwell?
At his age it’s probably worth getting him checked properly.

CommunistLegoBloc Mon 11-Feb-19 17:47:49

Oops x-post!

Frostyapples Mon 11-Feb-19 17:51:21

Talk to your midwife. It could be your formula brand doesn't agree with him. DS would only have SMA thicker milk as he was a hungry greedy baby where as DD would only ever take Aptimil. It could also be reflux and they can help with that too.

DonPablo Mon 11-Feb-19 17:52:02

Yy to keeping him as upright as possible. And More winding than he appears to need.

Some babies have silent reflux/CMPA and can be helped with treatment. Others are simply high needs. Want to be close to you all the time, won't be put down and seems pretty unhappy. Part of that might be the shock of being outside of you.

My second Ds was like this. I eventually resigned myself to being attached to him for 20 hours a day, to reassure him that I was still there. I was exhausted but he was happier that way and now he's 7 it's a distant memory! Hard though.

Ploppymoodypants Mon 11-Feb-19 17:52:14

I agree that 4 hours is too long between feeds at 3 weeks. Also think 120 ml is also a lot per feed at 3 weeks. Ignore what it says on bI would give 90ml every 3 hours then he is not so full it’s uncomfortable.
See if there is an improvement. My formula fed DD was about 8 weeks before she took 120ml and I always offered milk every 3 hours until weaning onto solids. Obviously if he is hungry after 90ml offer more but I think perhaps he is so stuffed it’s hurting his tummy.
Might be wrong but worth a try to rule it out.
Good luck, it’s so hard being a new mum, lots of things are trial and error x

Justme10 Mon 11-Feb-19 17:52:31

I was told by my MW when the are completely finishing the majority of there bottles so say he's having 6 a day and finishing 5 then too up his bottle, is it possible that he's still hungry?

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 17:53:41

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 17:54:08

Yeah silent reflux hmm

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 17:56:15

This is what my ds had, only settled on his tummy. He would be quite gurney and would takes ages to take a bottle. Funnily enough mam was the bottles he settled on x

thesausagesmademedoit Mon 11-Feb-19 17:57:38

@CommunistLegoBloc four hourly is his choice; his mouth is firmly clamped shut until he is ready!
The heath visitor suggested bigger bottles every five hours but he’s still so young and ready for his feed after four hours.

@Batshitcraziness - he seems well otherwise; not too hot though I worry about his temperature when he’s swaddled at night.

The heath visitor did say the Dr would probably not prescribe anything for reflux as he’ll outgrow it. I have an appointment for me next week so I will take him too. Unfortunately that is the earliest appointment available.

SpeedyBojangles Mon 11-Feb-19 17:58:05

My DS was exactly like this and we switched him to SMA comfort. Worked wonders!

3out Mon 11-Feb-19 17:59:15

Silent reflux due to CMPA.

Batshitcraziness Mon 11-Feb-19 18:03:22

The HV is wrong OP, if the GP thinks he has reflux he can prescribe something to help with it.
I’m not sure if the GP with see your DS if the appointment is for you. They might tell you to make an appointment just for him.
Between now and then try to make a diary to show you GP, what triggers it? How long after or before feeds is his crying worse? Is it better when he’s on his tummy or his back? What are his ooos like? Does he cry before doing one. Anything you can think of that might help you GP in deciding what it is.

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 18:03:35

Yeah, for some reason it takes persistence to get gaviscon off the doctor! My ds went to the hospital every 2 weeks as he was premature and it was his paediatrician that gave me it and instructed the gp to prescribe it.

thesausagesmademedoit Mon 11-Feb-19 18:27:16

@Batshitcraziness The GP is a rural
Practice with a bit of flexibility so hopefully they’ll see him too - he won’t be registered with them until then either.

I suspect the fact that I am stuck at home is also not helping me cope with him.

OnlyYellowRoses Mon 11-Feb-19 18:50:33

I'd second the silent reflux, my third DC screamed continuously until one night I took him to A&E as I genuinely thought he might have something wrong with him. Doctor their diagnosed reflux and gave us the infant gaviscon and there was an improvement within 24 hours. From then on he was a different baby!

loveskaka Mon 11-Feb-19 18:58:02

@OnlyYellowRoses same with my ds! Noticed a difference with the first bottle with the gaviscon!

Panicmode1 Mon 11-Feb-19 19:02:49

My DS1 was like this (and the subsequent 3 to a lesser extent). I was EBF, and having to give Gaviscon in expressed milk - which didn't really help. The the only thing which helped was going dairy free, he was a different baby overnight. I would definitely look at changing the formula to one without cows milk protein to see if it helps, and go back to the doctor. It's miserable, but it will pass.....!

Billydessert Mon 11-Feb-19 19:06:10

Another one thinking it could be silent reflux. My DC had this and showed similar symptoms.
It is a difficult thing to go through as in general HPs will tell you to crack on and wait for it to pass. Which it did for mine after 12 months.
My advice, get support for YOU. I know you said you don't have much help so I would suggest you and DP each give each other a night off at the weekend. If you have a spare room, shut yourself in for 12 hours, take a sleeping tablet and get some rest.
This too shall pass and you have my upmost sympathy.

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