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Newborn cries when not held

(62 Posts)
BrassHorses Wed 23-Jan-19 23:25:22

I have a newborn just 5 days old. He cries when put down so I am already exhausted. I've tried the buggy, next to me cot, our bed... one to two minutes after someone putting him down he is screaming and distressed. I'm not getting any sleep at all. I have a sling for during the day which I haven't managed to try yet but at the moment I am not able to do anything except hold and carry him around.

Please help, how can I get some sleep? Would a sleepyhead work?

MrsJayy Thu 24-Jan-19 10:13:35

Bless you it will feel like madness for a while but you will all settle into it go have a cup of tea or something .

BrassHorses Thu 24-Jan-19 10:20:41

He managed 30 minutes then woke up distressed- progress and I managed to have a wee!

gamerwidow Thu 24-Jan-19 10:23:28

Great stuff and seriously don’t worry about the midwife seeing the mess she’s there to support you not judge

IJustLostTheGame Thu 24-Jan-19 12:57:48

I did the same thing with the dream sheep!
Dd loved it but it didn't make her sleep 😤
What did help from about 3 months though was this ladybird thing from Amazon that was also a star projector. She liked to lie in the dark and look at the stars. She also like smiling at the ladybird.
It was safe to leave in her cot with her. It did get her happier being in her cot. And it did help her go to sleep happily months later.

I've been to the point where you're that desperate you just start throwing money at the problem.
Its hell.

BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff Thu 24-Jan-19 14:05:58

Congrats on the progress! Just a word of warning... I found Ewan utterly useless with little one because he cuts out after 20 mins and has to be turned on again which tends to wake babies up... certainly did with my very troublesome sleeper (they like things to be the same when they wake up as when they went to sleep)

Just have a quick look at “myhummy” (look on actual website rather than amazon as some are older models on there). They have 5 sounds and can either be set to go for an hour and reactivite if baby makes a noise or just go for 12 hours solid. We still use it for my 16 month old as he loves it and it blocks out other noises grin

AnnieM18 Thu 24-Jan-19 14:28:11

Like others have said, I found swaddling a life saver. I bought The Miracle Blanket from Amazon and my baby loved it and slept soundly in it! No other swaddle blanket worked for us. I also used white noise which he found really soothing. I hope you get some rest soon! Nothing lasts forever so just keep repeating This Too Shall pass!

littlemisscomper Thu 24-Jan-19 14:53:21

As a nanny, I swear by swaddlesuits:

www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Dream-Swaddle-Original-Small/dp/B0081GJ038/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby&keywords=swaddle+suit&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1548340814&sr=1-2

and the Sleepyhead.

As a previous poster mentioned ask at your local childcare college if there are any second year or recently qualified students who might like to help a couple of hours here and there in exchange for gaining experience and a reference (and it would be nice if you could slip them the odd tenner too!).

Lndnmummy Thu 24-Jan-19 18:17:30

OP this stage is so hard. With my first ds it nearly broke me and it took me 6 years to have another. This time around I just tried to accept it but still it’s so hard. What saved me second time was a sleepyhead as well as a mamaruga sling. It’s basically like a wrap so soft but it has buckles so easy peasy to fit. Do you have a sling library near you! It sounds utterly exhausting to go to one I know but maybe in a couple of
Weeks.
This is against guidelines but neither of mine could settle on their backs (reflux babies). So they slept on the side. Be kind to yourself and do shifts with your partner, even when he works. My gp said that you need a block a night of 3-4 hours. Once I started to do that I felt better. I’d sleep 8-12 and then take over from dh. In the day just do what you need to do to get through. I spent the entire summer on the sofa. In the same spot. Have hundreds of selfies in the exact same position. My dh would set me up in the morning with a flask of tea/coffee. Fruit/water/cereal bars, phone charger etc. And I’d just sit there all day. Another thing I learnt with my second was that it’s ok to put the baby somewhere safe ie Moses basket and go to the loo or make a cup of tea. Really it’s ok!
You will come out the other side.

honeybee88 Thu 24-Jan-19 18:47:23

You need to swaddle your baby to mke baby snug so baby feels safe and cocooned like baby was in your tummy. I have 5! All happy. Everything is a passing phase....

BrassHorses Fri 25-Jan-19 15:23:44

Just checking in to say I appreciate all the replies, suggestions and support. I got 3 hours sleep last night, DH's turn to do the majority tonight. I just cried at the midwife.

MrsJayy Fri 25-Jan-19 15:33:43

Aww did you was your midwife supportive remember you will be getting a rush of hormomes now I don't know if they are still called baby blues or something else but you might be all over the place for a week or 2. 3 hours sleep is great bet it felt like 30☺

BreevandercampLGJ Sat 26-Jan-19 09:31:23

DS was a decent sleeper fairly early on, but I still remember the morning after he slept through.

I was on fire, I tidied out the bathroom cabinets (shoot me now, how anal) grin

Anyhoo, point being...........I turned to DH and said I have no idea where that energy came from.

He replied, and it is one of those clearer than clear moments in your life that you remember for ever... You can do anything on a good nights sleep.

It will get better.

Much love.

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