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Men on a post natal ward

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MNHQ have commented on this thread.

RogueV Wed 23-Jan-19 21:27:50

The guy in the next bay is pissing me right off.
He just asked the midwife for a bed. Dick.

Why are they allowed to stay anyway? Shouldn’t they be going home?

Sorry just ranting.
angry

Sexnotgender Wed 23-Jan-19 21:30:34

This has been talked about loads on here. It's really, really shit and shouldn't be allowed.

Sorry you're dealing with this.

Sparklingbrook Wed 23-Jan-19 21:30:40

I would have hated it. I don't think they should be allowed to stay on a ward.

CosmicComet Wed 23-Jan-19 21:31:19

As long as midwives and nurses refuse to help women care for their babies, they will need their birth partner on hand. I couldn’t have coped with my baby alone in the hours after my c section.

purpleme12 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:32:20

I didn't think they were. They weren't when I had my baby

RogueV Wed 23-Jan-19 21:32:36

Glad you all agree.

I’ve had a late preterm baby so will be here till Saturday afternoon at the latest, whereas all the other folks on the bay are going home tomorrow. Wish I had a side room so I could get some sleep.

sad

Sparklingbrook Wed 23-Jan-19 21:33:38

I have heard of hospitals that have private rooms with double bed, but don't agree they should be on a ward with women other than their partner there.

Sexnotgender Wed 23-Jan-19 21:33:39

They are now purpleme12 unfortunately.

It's appalling.

Sexnotgender Wed 23-Jan-19 21:34:32

Congratulations RogueV, hope you and baby are doing well flowers

Seline Wed 23-Jan-19 21:35:05

If my husband hadn't stayed with me I'dve died. They're not there to spy on you they're there to support their wives.

user1493413286 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:40:37

I found they disturbed me trying to get some rest more than all the babies crying

ShowOfHands Wed 23-Jan-19 21:41:32

Not there to spy on you? Might want to tell that to the abusive prick in the bay opposite who not only watched me like a hawk but made v loud comments about my "milky tits". He was removed by security in the end because of the sexual demands (I kid you fucking not) he was making to his v young and cowed gf.

I had a cs both times and partners were not allowed to stay. It was tough but I thoroughly supported the rule.

JustLetMeSleep1 Wed 23-Jan-19 21:42:11

My dh had to leave, I was on morphine and had to get nurses to help me pick up my baby.
I had a pack in and they let my mum stay and help me when it was removed, but they really fucked up with me.

NicoleNoPants Wed 23-Jan-19 21:42:52

One was on my ward overnight. He was loud and obnoxious and asked me to watch his baby when him and his wife went out for a fag.

Sparklingbrook Wed 23-Jan-19 21:43:24

You feel so fragile after giving birth both physically and mentally that having unknown males around the ward would be very difficult. Especially if you were sharing facilities with them.

Zebrasinpyjamas Wed 23-Jan-19 21:45:46

It's hard to get this right but I'd have been completely stuffed with my dh there overnight as I couldn't feed dc without assistance and there was no hospital staff support at all. We kept the curtain pulled around the bed though so barely saw another person.

Seline Wed 23-Jan-19 21:46:13

I think it's worse to leave mothers, sometimes first time mothers, alone all night with a baby when they've got no idea what to do. Plus partners can get drinks/pick up baby/do minor tasks that women recovering would otherwise need a nurse to do.

RogueV Wed 23-Jan-19 21:47:12

They are annoying and loud. I wanted to put my comfie nightie on and rest but I don’t feel comfortable.
It’s really not on

Daisiesinavase Wed 23-Jan-19 21:48:31

Ideallly there would be private rooms available for them.

BiscuitsMcSnugglepuff Wed 23-Jan-19 21:50:55

I would have been screwed if my husband wasn’t with me after my emergency c section, getting on and off the bed was a nightmare and that’s not holding baby! We were in a private side room, but had we not been that fortunate I would have still very much needed him!

HumphreyCobblers Wed 23-Jan-19 21:51:16

It is appalling that you don't feel able to rest RogueV.

I strongly disagree with letting fathers have unlimited visiting on wards and I had three sections.

CosmicComet Wed 23-Jan-19 21:52:31

I was on morphine and had to get nurses to help me pick up my baby

Nurses refused to help me. I pressed the buzzer and they stood there and said no, we’re not allowed to help you, you have to look after your own baby. Then walked away and left me (post c section anxious new mum) struggling on my own. I was glad when DH came back from the shops because I couldn’t manage without help.

HumphreyCobblers Wed 23-Jan-19 21:52:44

And ShowOfHands - that is so grim shock

AlexaAmbidextra Wed 23-Jan-19 21:54:15

They're not there to spy on you they're there to support their wives.

But this is the trouble. Not all do that. They’re too busy watching Netflix, shouting into their phones or intruding on other patients and making them uncomfortable. Or generally being an arsehole in myriad ways. IMO they should be booted out at the end of visiting hours. No way should postpartum women - and all that entails - have to put up with someone else’s partner snoring or worse just the other side of a flimsy curtain

StyleOfTheTimes Wed 23-Jan-19 21:54:49

If their loud and being offencive then I think they should be asked to leave but I’m 2 weeks from my due date and the thought of being thrown in at the deep end with my husband to support me terrifys me. I don’t want to be alone on a ward with people I don’t know. That’s me though I get anxious around people I don’t know and my husband helps me to feel more relaxed. I’d probably do what another pp said and draw the curtains.

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