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Most Ridiculous Injury you have ever had in your life?

(387 Posts)
DionneB Mon 21-Jan-19 23:19:01

as we have had serious injury , what are some ridiculous injuries you have had in your life before?

i would say slipping on some ice outside Bargin Booze and not being able to walk properly for 3 days afterwards , not fun times.

Mucky1 Mon 21-Jan-19 23:21:36

I broke my leg showing off to my kids on a skateboard. Didn't realise and walked around on it for a week before having it xrayed and potted up.
Decided after just 3 weeks to remove said pot because I had to move house and carry stuff. I poured boiling water into it ( ouch) that didn't work then sawed at it with a carving knife cutting myself fairly badly in the process confused

Mucky1 Mon 21-Jan-19 23:22:06

I was late 20s and an obvious idiot hmm

Rodenhide Mon 21-Jan-19 23:24:29

I shoved a bead up my nose when I was five, just to see if I could. We had to go to the hospital to get it removed
That's not too bad, as I was five but I did the same the ten years later (just to see if I still could) blush

MrsScrubbingbrush Mon 21-Jan-19 23:27:19

"Just one last snowball fight" begged the DDs.

Stupidly I agreed and ended up with a broken wrist game after a spectacular fall 🙄

ninalovesdragons Mon 21-Jan-19 23:31:47

Someone rolled over my foot in Central Park as she fell off her rollerblades and broke my ankle... I was just walking innocently on the sidewalk eating and ice cream

Drogosnextwife Mon 21-Jan-19 23:31:53

Broken baby toes running away from someone chasing me with a worm. (Terrified of worms) whacked the toes off a door frame.
Hooked a coat hanger in my eye when I was about 4, can only presume I was dancing around with it,probably using it as a mic.

LikeACowsOpinion Mon 21-Jan-19 23:35:39

I'd had the wooden floors polished in my old house (including my bedroom) and had to have all the windows open because something they used absolutely reeked.
The house had a really strange layout and my bedroom was the size of the whole of the downstairs, really, really long!
The room had been previously used as a self-contained flat (without cooking facilities.)
This is relevant.

It was November and absolutely freezing, so I went to get some fluffy socks from one side of the bedroom (you can see where this is going), put them on, took one step and went arse over tit skidding from one side of the room to the other on my backside.
Both cheeks were black for weeks.

Orlandointhewilderness Mon 21-Jan-19 23:38:44

I fell down an open manhole cover. Bruised and battered for a week. It wasn't as funny as you'd think it would be!!

Finfintytint Mon 21-Jan-19 23:44:51

At the moment I'm nursing some horrible bruising from trying to master a unicycle that was bought for me as a Christmas present. I'm rubbish (and I thought a fifty year old could master new ricks) and close to giving up.

Fusioluxe Mon 21-Jan-19 23:47:23

Ironed myself blush

GobblersKnob Mon 21-Jan-19 23:49:29

At about age 10 with hair down to my bum, I decided to see what would happen if I dangled some it into the electric food mixer thing, while helping to make a cake.

It was not a good idea shockgrin To this day I have no idea what possessed me.

Hedgehogblues Mon 21-Jan-19 23:51:02

I was standing on a bed showing my partner my ski technique (have never skied in my life and am also dyspraxic) he was copying me and we both fell over each other. He ended up giving me a black eye by sticking his elbow in my face

groundcontroltomontydon Mon 21-Jan-19 23:51:38

Black eye sustained when my dog punched me in the face with her mahoosive paw while I was tickling her belly

Anymom Mon 21-Jan-19 23:52:07

A few years ago I slipped down one step and completely snapped a metortarsal (sp?) in my foot. The worse thing was it was the first day of the summer holidays and I had 3 dc under 10. I couldn't drive and we had a caravan holiday booked and lots of day trips. Was a tough 6 weeks!

penelopepig Mon 21-Jan-19 23:55:52

When I was about fifteen, I was walking to school and a car came speeding round the corner and missed full on hitting me by literal centimetres, my arm hit the car quite hard but I was fine. I was so shaken about how close a call that was, I then didn't pay attention to where I was walking, tripped on the curb and smashed my other elbow into smithereens 😂

ProfessorCustard Tue 22-Jan-19 00:01:41

The back of my leg somehow managed to stick to the varnished wooden chair I was sitting on and when I pulled it away I ripped a layer of skin off and it was red raw and bruised for weeks!

Then there was the black eye from walking into a glass door. I had that corker for nearly a month blush

payperview Tue 22-Jan-19 00:01:54

My cat and dog were fighting and crashed into me, busting my lip.

I broke a couple of ribs digging up the garden.

A tiny spider bit me (UK) and I couldn't walk for several days because my leg doubled in size. 🕷 Apparently I'm allergic to spiders! 🕷

My toe was so badly infected and had a huge hole in it because of my two year old. He simply stepped on it everyday for weeks and the trauma caused a serious infection.

ifeellikeanidiot Tue 22-Jan-19 00:03:30

Oven glove on right hand
Took the baking tray out with left hand confused

ThereWillBeAdequateFood Tue 22-Jan-19 00:04:50

Somehow fell head first down a flight of stairs at a doctors surgery. No one saw but everyone heard the massive crash.
They all ran to help - I picked myself up assured them I was fine and walked to my car.

Spent 1/2 hour crying in my car it hurt that fucking much. Every part of me was bruised, it took 2 months for the bruises to go.

gobblers shock you bloody idiot grin

CharminglyGawky Tue 22-Jan-19 00:07:26

I hit myself over the head with my own hockey stick once in primary school, I slipped mid practice in a muddy puddle and chucked the stick away to free my hands to catch myself and somehow managed to through it straight up where it somersaulted and came back down onto my head... ouch. Didn't help that the teacher was trying desperately to not laugh whilst checking if I was ok.

This is probably a bit outing and to be fair I didn't actually damage myself but it did hurt and it was ridiculous.

Porridgeoat Tue 22-Jan-19 00:09:21

Trying to wax my lady moustache but not having the right technique

WTFIsAGleepglorp Tue 22-Jan-19 00:09:45

I managed to sprain my little and ring fingers trying to flush one of those button flush toilets.

My grip still isn't right after three weeks....

MarthasGinYard Tue 22-Jan-19 00:12:31

Total rupture of Achilles in plaster for almost 4 months

Celebrating having cast off with a few Vinos....tripped over my newly acquired air cast boot which was propped up in kitchen....and broke my toe....sad

thenightsky Tue 22-Jan-19 00:12:46

When I was a student nurse I once managed to jab a big intramuscular injection needle through the nailbed of my thumb instead of the patient's bottom.

I once tore all the ligaments in my neck and across my shoulders just zipping up a tight pair of jeans.

Sunnysidegold Tue 22-Jan-19 00:25:22

Gave myself a fetching chemical burn on my chin. Had a bit of stubble rash having been snogging enthusiastically the night before (I was about 17). Chin was red, felt a bit rough. Best thing to put on It? Not clinique clarifying lotion!! It Stung like he'll and got even redder. Had to go to work and made up a crap tale of having overexfoliated. It ended up red raw and blistered. Not fun

CesiraAndEnrico Tue 22-Jan-19 00:33:18

I looked at my new epilady (whizzing Coil Of Doom one, circa 1988 ish) and thought... ohhh I wonder if I can do the bikini zone more radically now I have this cutting edge high tech to hand !

When delicate tissues get grabbed at and wound into a tight whizzing coil, delicate tissues come off worse. Especially if you are blinded by tears during the lengthy untangle process.

God that still runs like a HiDef video in my head even after all these years. The moment of utter horror. Followed by the agony.

It took a good while until the mangled section of my fluffy bits was happy with life again.

I still can't believe I thought it was a good idea to put that evil thing anywhere near anything more sensitive than a lower leg. Preferably somebody else's leg to boot. Cos it was brutal.

snoutandab0ut Tue 22-Jan-19 00:47:51

I fell off a moped and managed to run over my own foot with it

BettyBigBollocks Tue 22-Jan-19 01:36:08

Ignored the advice to “stay still once applied” on the packet of Veet Bikini Hair Removal Cream. Pottered about the house with it on. 5 minutes later, huge blisters and raw skin all over, in every nook and every cranny. Cried for hours whilst my OH attempted to be sympathetic. Couldn’t walk for days.

JustLetMeSleep1 Tue 22-Jan-19 01:36:43

I skidded in the bathroom and smashed my face on the toilet, 2 black eyed and a broken nose. My Dm rang my gran for advice (in the early 90s so no 111) and she told my mum to put a steak on it lol. Now I have the dodgy-ist nose ever.

When I was 13 I got my hand stuck in a lift door.

Eminybob Tue 22-Jan-19 02:18:52

Not me with the injury but I was involved.

About 20 years ago, my best friend and I worked together behind the bar of a pub. It was a quiet night and we were showing off to the regulars, having a play fight.
She pretended to kick me, I grabbed hold of her leg and pulled and she fell to the floor, grabbing at me and pulling all the buttons off my shirt as she went. She broke her arm and I ended up flashing my bra to the whole pub.

The worst bit was we told the landlord she tripped on a bit of dodgy flooring so we didn’t get into trouble and he could not have been more apologetic and promptly got it fixed.

LackOfAdhesiveDucks Tue 22-Jan-19 02:38:57

I tripped over a rock (a fairly small rock) when I was 8 and broke my arm badly in two places. Not a compound fracture but very nearly. Ridiculous because it was such a minor fall but much a serious injury.

A close second was flipping my wet hair up into a towel after a shower and pinching a nerve in my neck. I almost blacked out from the pain.

Ifangyow Tue 22-Jan-19 03:54:58

A few years ago I accidentally superglued my bare foot to the lino in the kitchen. I was stuck there for hours until I saw my neighbour going past. I had to let her in through the kitchen window which I was stuck in front of, as the doors were locked.
By the time she had cut the lino away from around my foot, I had wet myself.
Then I had to sit for ages with my foot soaking in a bowl of hot soapy water to get the lino off my foot.
Which left me with a very sore, wrinkly foot.

I broke a bone in my foot by doing nothing more than just getting out of bed and standing up. Still confused about that one.

WaterBird Tue 22-Jan-19 04:56:04

I fell over my open suitcase and banged my head on the nearby table. 6 stitches later and that table still has a mark.
(It was at university and there was a reason my parents gave me older furniture).

TheLittleDogLaughed Tue 22-Jan-19 05:00:03

Two nights before my wedding, DH to be and I had had a row and so I snuck outside our back door to smoke a cigarette I’d had for emergencies - I’d quit about six months before. It really made my head spin and as I turned to come back through the patio door I literally fell headfirst through the door, bashing my shoulder and landing on my little finger. I’d broken my collarbone and shattered the finger joint which needed surgery. Couldn’t get my wedding dress on because of the shoulder, was on really heavy pain relief so couldn’t drink at the wedding and the wedding night, which we’d paid for to stay together in a lovely romantic setting, was a washout as I was covered in bruises and couldn’t lie down. I have never smoked again.

bushtailadventures Tue 22-Jan-19 05:40:53

I stood on the closed lid of a toilet to close the bathroom window, foot went straight through the lid and down the loo, thankfully didn't break it but ended up with a nasty sprain and assorted cuts from the sharp edges of the lid...I was 13, should have known better!

When pregnant with my eldest dd, I poured boiling water down myself from a pan of pasta, still have no idea why or how I did it, maybe I misjudged the distance with the bump in the way?

Nanasueathome Tue 22-Jan-19 05:44:32

I ironed my hands
Had one if those iron presses and levelled the clothing flat underneath, then brought the press down on the back of both of my hands
It was very sore for weeks

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger Tue 22-Jan-19 05:45:26

I broke my wrist in hospital as a kid - not stupid on my part, but the idiots who put a shiny Lino floor in the toilet of the hydrotherapy pool probably needed a few more brain cells (injured leg + water + Lino floor = fractured wrist).

Was an inpatient for a busted knee and having an arm in plaster put me back in a wheelchair for a good couple of months after recently upgrading to crutches. My parents were not happy.

Rememberallball Tue 22-Jan-19 06:03:08

Got a couple.

Aged about 6, walking home from school balancing on a low brick wall and slipped off - legs either side of the wall. Grazes from knees upwards on both thighs. Never walked along a brick wall again.

Aged about 8, messing about with my flask and unscrewed the bottom of it from the outer casing (nope, I don’t know why either!) didn’t realise the glass inside would fall out and spill boiling drink all over my leg - cue burnt inner thigh and, because I was wearing the most fetching 1970’s skirt with a sort of candle wick pattern, it looked like zebra stripes but pink scalded skin and blisters in lines!!

Aged about 14, making hot chocolate for me and my brother. Lit a match to light gas cooker and, as I did so, a spark jumped into the slightly open box, ignited the whole box in my hand. Ended up in A&E, hand burnt and treatment involved it being slathered in a particular burn cream called Flammazine and tied in a plastic bag to stop it drying out. Waslike that for 4 weeks while it recovered. Now got a difference of over an inch in hand span compared with other hand!!

Most recently, about 4 1/2 years ago, caught myself near my eyebrow with the corner of the car door as I opened it to get in car. By the time I got to where I was going (less than 10 minutes later) had a lump the size of a duck egg over my eye, the start of a black eye and a pounding headache. Took a lot to convince family, friends, colleagues and clients that my then newish DP (now DH) hadn’t bashed me!! Took about a month to go back to normal but still aches at times!!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Tue 22-Jan-19 06:46:44

Biting into a freshly heated up pita bread

The very hit steam burnt my face and it blistered 😮 it was very painful and I kept being asked that had happened

had a little scar for about a year

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed Tue 22-Jan-19 06:47:18

Very hot steam ...

AngelOfDeathNix Tue 22-Jan-19 07:59:09

I managed to dislocate my little finger by putting my hand out to sit down, not entirely sure how I did that one!

Was knocked out by a basketball that my friend threw at my head!

BrieAndChilli Tue 22-Jan-19 08:09:24

I knelt on a small piece of Lego. I couldn’t bend my knees for weeks and it wasn’t 100% right for months afterwards, it still sometimes hurts if I squat and it was 2 years ago!

I also got bit by a tiny spider (like money spider size) in the uk. My hand and arm swelled up and I had a serious infection on my hand that took months to go.

Friendupset Tue 22-Jan-19 08:25:52

Got my knickers actually stuck to myself at age 17 or so , somehow a bit of skin (labia) had gotten caught in a lacy bit and then swelled up so much it wouldn’t ‘come back out’, pants were well and truly stuck . I had to get my poor mum to help, she had to cut them off with nail scissors . Had quite a bit of bleeding as she had to cut the bit of skin off as well . Still think I should probably have gone straight to casualty but we were on holiday in the middle of absolutely nowhere , quite a distance from any sort of medical place !!

Poor mum was more upset than I , she had a very large drink after !

CallMeSirShotsFired Tue 22-Jan-19 08:31:13

Bent my thumb back and really hurt it, was an issue for months if not years later.

On a bouncy castle at an adult's birthday party.

thenightsky Tue 22-Jan-19 08:56:12

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed I have a small scar on my top lip where I got 'steamed' when I bite into a freshly microwaved hot mince pie.

TheLittleDogLaughed Tue 22-Jan-19 09:01:55

Friendupset you win the thread. How awful and embarrassing too at age 17.

AwkwardPaws27 Tue 22-Jan-19 09:07:02

Black eye from an overexcited Labrador. I was giving her a belly rub when she heard the fridge door open and leapt up, straight into my face grin

Bluelonerose Tue 22-Jan-19 09:07:33

Oh loads.
Broke my little toe by stunning it on the radiator.
Chipped the bone in my wrist by hitting it on my watch
Took skin off my arse going down a virtical slide at a soft play.
Knocked iron off ironing bored onto my back.
The worst was when I was taking some washing outside to hang out. Tripped over the back door step, threw my clean washing all over the patio, hit my head of the outside steps and then scrapped every exposed body part on the patio.
I looked like ide been in a fight!
I'm just accident prone blush

DerelictWreck Tue 22-Jan-19 09:17:37

Put my finger on the end of a blender blade, and turned it on. In my defence I thought it would spin around under my finger, not chop it to bits...

tralalalaaaaa Tue 22-Jan-19 09:30:37

I slipped on some ice once and somehow fell forward onto sitting on my knees and due to the ice looked like I was doing a knee slide along the entire pavement. A member of the public came over to me and I was in a lot of pain and said oh wow that must have been so embarrassing.

Otterses Tue 22-Jan-19 09:36:33

I fell off the toilet seat at work while trying to change my tampon last week. I was too embarrassed to write it in the accident book even though I had a massive bruise on my leg blush

EastMidsGPs Tue 22-Jan-19 09:40:42

Parked outside shop, trapped thumb in car door as I closed it. Felt a bit lightheaded so leant against shop window. Fainted full out face down, hit face on corner of pavement and cracked cheekbone. Came round to all these strangers looking down at me!

Friendupset Tue 22-Jan-19 09:49:30

thelittledoglaughed the most odd part was that on being referred to gynae very promptly a month later (GP was concerned there was too much in the way of labia which had allowed this to happen), gynaecologist shrugged and said, but doesn’t that happen to everyone at some point ?!

Er... no. I don’t think it does!

BlackPrism Tue 22-Jan-19 09:50:54

@Mucky1 why on earth would you try and take it off? Do you want a limp?

Jens303 Tue 22-Jan-19 09:53:35

Was on holiday and went out on a boat trip, covered myself in a lot of sun tan cream as we were pretty much on the equator - boat speed up, I flew off the leather seat as I was so greasy straight out little doors at the end & into the sea.

Lots of bruising but mostly to my pride

Mucky1 Tue 22-Jan-19 09:54:32

@BlackPrism I was a single parent moving house and the help I arranged failed to materialise. I couldn't carry anything whilst hobbling along so took it off.
Luckily no limp or lasting problems blush just a scar from the carving knife. 🙈

EnoughSnowAlready Tue 22-Jan-19 09:55:13

I had a first aid box fall on my head and stun me.(There were additional items in it that shouldn't have been in there)

I broke my nose by walking into scaffolding that I didn't see coming out of a shop because I was too busy eating the sweets I'd just bought.

EastMidsGPs Tue 22-Jan-19 10:11:09

And there was the time a large box of porridge oats fell out of the cupboard and the corner of the box fell sharply, breaking my big toe. Oh how they laughed in a&e

Mumberjack Tue 22-Jan-19 10:12:17

I slipped on ice and sprained my wrist.
The ice had fallen from my glass of vodka and coke as I was a bit too drunk to hold it steadily. So I fell my length.

Foonababoonalagoona Tue 22-Jan-19 10:12:23

When I was 15 I came home from school for lunch and whilst making my toast I thought I would press on little red bars that were burning hot , with a metal knife!! blush I got an electric shock up my arm and the toaster blew up! Oh told my mom I didn't know what had happened blushblush

When I worked in a hotel I had a breakfast shift and a dinner shift so in between I came home to lie in the sun. I feel asleep for about 3 hours, in the sun ,on my side!! I woke up with severe sunburn on one side of my face . The slagging I got when I went back to work.

Last one from stupid me, I was living in London , and after an all nighter I got home and thought I'll get a bit of a head start on getting for that night of drinking. So I put my moustache removal cream on , and yes .... I fell asleep. I woke up hours later with this over whelming stinging pain and my moustache was red raw for the best part of two weeks. Funnily enough I still went out that night. Obviously had no shame back then grin

FetchezLaVache Tue 22-Jan-19 10:24:15

I broke my nose when a sheep tried to jump over me but fell somewhat short in the attempt and headbutted me instead.

Gardai Tue 22-Jan-19 10:37:46

@Jens303 that made me laugh - I am sorry !

Gingernaut Tue 22-Jan-19 10:50:55

Got a freezer burn from a DisneyWorld ice lolly.

I was in the park and bought an orange juice ice lolly from a little cart.

They pulled the last one out of the little box of a cart that they had dozens of around the park.

I didn't realise that they used dry ice (a solid block of carbon dioxide) to cool the contents.

I tried to eat it straight away and it ended up frozen to my bottom lip.

When I ripped it away, it took a small bit of skin with it.

Although it's healed, there's a small lump where the new skin grew.

MrsWooster Tue 22-Jan-19 10:51:11

Dozens of ludicrous accidents, including tripping over my own flares and spraining my ankle; falling off my clogs, ditto; falling off a barge and breaking my wrist; walking into a wall and getting a black eye... it goes on.

WTFIsAGleepglorp Tue 22-Jan-19 10:55:54

Oh yes.

Flares and bicycle chains.

One second flying along and next, falling over the handlebars or just falling sideways because the flares had caught in the bike chain.

That's what bicycle clips are for.

MaegorT Tue 22-Jan-19 11:00:20

Mild concussion when a friend tried to get my attention from the first floor of a pub by dropping a Cadbury's Creme egg down to where I was on the ground floor. FFS. Hilarious painful injuries are the worst.

Omgineedanamechange Tue 22-Jan-19 11:00:47

Aged about ten we found a huge plastic barrel at the top of a hill, big enough for three of us to climb inside and roll down the hill in.

Didn’t do it twice!

QuestionableMouse Tue 22-Jan-19 11:06:17

Playing fetch with my dog when he jumped into my hand and broke my finger. Was really sore for a good few weeks.

Have myself a lovely black eye trying to tighten the girth on a new synthetic saddle. Girth straps were like iron and my hand slipped off. That was fun to explain...

Stepped off a curb in York and onto a loose paving stone. Twisted my knee which hurt but I had to drive home which took about 3 hours. I couldn't walk by the time I got out of the car. Drove myself to OOH where I found I'd damaged the ligaments. Ouch.

HumphreyCobblers Tue 22-Jan-19 11:09:56

I licked an ice cream scoop that had been left in the freezer.
Left a bit of my tongue behind when I pulled it off in a panic. It really hurt!

sadkoala Tue 22-Jan-19 11:26:28

@jens303 my dog is looking at me very confused as I'm sat here in tears from laughing . I'm sorry but I have an image in my head of you disappearing through that little door and cue dramatic music and voice over "and she was never seen again".

BBTHREE76 Tue 22-Jan-19 11:27:54

I have broken a toe twice 😬
First time I was 4 or 5 and a concrete slab fell on my toe. Second time was when I had workmen coming. They were early and I rushed to the door and broke my toe on the doorframe. 😞

Geekster1963 Tue 22-Jan-19 11:30:45

I took a chunk out of my ear on a thorn bush while out running, I swear it jumped out to get me! I was more annoyed because I had to cut my run short as my ear was bleeding a lot, as it was summer and I was hot anyway.

GoldenBuns Tue 22-Jan-19 11:33:03

When I was in my twenties I had an evening out drinking. Later that night I got out of bed to go to the loo and fell down a small flight of stairs. Naked.

DH still finds this very amusing.

SeaSandLandSky Tue 22-Jan-19 11:33:34

I walked into a lamp post - truly!
I just turned my head momentarily to take look at something, and the lamp post leapt out from its hiding place and......bang!!

I had a spectacularly bruised nose/cheek/eye for quite a while.

It took me ages to live it down, and to forget about it until I opened this thread

BBTHREE76 Tue 22-Jan-19 11:37:01

Told my hubby about this thread and he asked if I had told you about “Elvis mouth” 😂😂. I hadn’t so here goes.... when I was early teens my bedroom got redecorated. My mum had a thing about extra carpet being turned into rugs. 1st night in newly decorated bedroom I trip on rug and bang my lip on the corner of my new bedside cabinet. In agony and wake up with a Elvis top lip. Mum says she’ll remove the ‘rug’ but before she does I nip back in room for something and trip again and bang mouth again but on the other side. Top lip was huge and a mess. 🙀

AnneOfCleavage Tue 22-Jan-19 11:48:09

Went to,pick something up on the stairs as I was going up and caught my long nail on left ring finger in the thick pile of the carpet and bent it right back.
Next day finger was so swollen I went to GP who sent me to hospital as rings were cutting into my skin. Didn't break it but it was badly strained but they managed to get my rings off somehow.
It was Christmas Eve and Dr told my DH I couldn't cook or wash up while winking at me 😂 Thing is my DH is amazingly helpful and does 50% of the chores anyway but I did feel guilty.

He still jokes that I blamed him for the incident as it was something of his that I went to pick up in the first place. 🤣

Jens303 Tue 22-Jan-19 11:48:16

@sadkoala it was very funny & very very inelegant :-)

DustyMcDustbuster Tue 22-Jan-19 12:02:15

Lived in a flat with wooden floors, slipped on a Vogue magazine on the floor & gave myself whiplash. Hospital put me in neck collar. Was too embarrassed to admit that so told everybody was in a car accident.

celticecho Tue 22-Jan-19 12:02:27

When baking potatoes, I use a metal kebab skewer through the centre to cook the insides quicker. One fateful evening while cooking a meal for my ex husband, for some reason I thought it was fine to take the potatoes straight out of the oven without oven gloves 😫. I had a perfect skewer shaped blister on my left palm for weeks!

Hen2018 Tue 22-Jan-19 12:03:25

Stood on a chair painting the ceiling of the childrens’ room.

Jumped down but managed to hook my knee between the rungs of the bunk bed ladder as I went downwards.

Thought I’d ripped my bloody leg off! Hil still isn’t right.

Geekster1963 Tue 22-Jan-19 12:05:02

When I was about 10 we had this old bed frame in the garden that was full of nettles. We used to walk round the edge of it until I fell in one day...

I had nettle stings from my toes to my chin.

I rode my bike with my eyes closed once and ended up in the ditch.

I fell off my bike once and managed to knock myself out, don't know how I did it, all I remember was my Mum asking me why I was crying. I had a lump as big as an egg on my forehead. I just wanted to keep playing. That side of my head still has a bit of a lump on it.

MyPatronusIsAHyena Tue 22-Jan-19 12:08:56

Tripped over a big metal chest/trunk in the dark and shinned myself. The pain and bruising was unbearable 🤦‍♀️

TherightsideofHERstory Tue 22-Jan-19 12:13:04

Posted on here at the time but managed to fall in the dishwasher a few months ago, had a fetching black bruise on my thigh for weeks. Dishwasher actually died a couple of weeks ago, a bit karmic!

bobstersmum Tue 22-Jan-19 12:14:34

Fell off horse and landed on arse, must have bruised coccyx because I could not sit down for a week, it was agony!

Anonanonanariston Tue 22-Jan-19 12:14:51

Broke my toe sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag. As an adult, while alone in the house.
Broke a rib doing a comedy pratfall trying to demonstrate to my son that falling on grass doesn't hurt, when he was learning to ride a bike. I had his sippy cup in my bag and landed on it on my floating ribs. I had to pretend it hadn't hurt a bit then invent an accident later.

CatnissEverdene Tue 22-Jan-19 12:20:36

We had a big old groundsheet for our tent that our DC used as a waterslide in the garden. Hot sunny day, so I thought I'd set it up for them to come home from school to, but bastard DH had used it for gardening so it was filthy. So muggins here decides to clean it with a brush, the hose and some washing up liquid.... down a slope in the garden. I've no idea to this day what happened but I came too in a mountain of bubbles, soaked by the hose and our DC standing over me with another mum from school who'd walked them home as I'd hadn't appeared at school blush. I brazened it out until the next morning (very stupidly in hindsight) when I woke up with the worst headache I'd ever had and spent the next 2 years recovering from a pretty bad head injury. The consultant said my brain had been shaken about like a blancmange in a biscuit tin. I had to repeat the story several times in A & E and in neurology outpatients and every bloody time their faces twitched when I explained how I'd done it...........

HenweeArcher Tue 22-Jan-19 12:22:31

I was about 10 and on a scooter. I can’t remember exactly what happened but I had to suddenly stop and somehow on of the handlebars made impact with my vulva. I was very grazed and had to pee in the bath for about a week because it stung so much.

I also broke a finger a couple of years ago when I dropped a medicine ball on it.

I’m massively clumsy but thankfully tend to avoid (touch wood!) major injuries. I’m just covered in bruises most of the time!

CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 22-Jan-19 12:35:40

Both DH and I learnt on to give then newborn ds1 a raspberry on the tummy.
He headbutted me in the eye and gave me a shiner.
I managed to sew myself to a dress I was making in college. I was the least freaked out person there. I do remember my teacher trying to drag me away from the sewing machine and me having to tell her to stop as I was still attached by the thread.
Tiny mark for a lot of pain.

Ds decided to roll off his bed (when aged 7) for no apparent reason and broke his fall by headbutting his chest of drawers. He seemed to think this was a good outcome for his effort, though the gash on his head said otherwise.
It wasn't the worst thing he's done to himself, but I think it's the stupidest.

allnewredfairy Tue 22-Jan-19 12:37:45

My middle aged eyes couldn't read the instructions for the time I needed to leave hair removal cream on my 'moustache' so I guessed...
Ended up with chemical burns and a huge red clowns mouth for days which eventually crusted over.
Mmmm attractive!

HouseyMcHouseFace Tue 22-Jan-19 12:40:09

Not me but my grandad - painting the outside of the house and up a ladder. He decided to step back and see how it looked. He broke his leg so badly he was in hospital for 10 months and my grandma never let him live it down.

HouseyMcHouseFace Tue 22-Jan-19 12:41:19

Also I once had a black eye that I’d got by opening a cupboard door and the corner of it catching me face. I demonstrated to my dm how I did it and gave myself another black eye confused.

MilkItTilITurnItIntoCheese Tue 22-Jan-19 12:46:48

I on e put my finger on an electric hob hotplate to see if it was on. It was. By the time it registered in my brain that it hurt I had a nice crusty circle of black skin on the end of my pointer finger. Hurt a lot. And smelt disgusting.

bobstersmum Tue 22-Jan-19 13:10:01

Catniss! Wow that's spectacular! Did you have lasting damage then? Does sound funny though, sorry!

NotUmbongoUnchained Tue 22-Jan-19 13:13:47

We’ve had some hilarious sex injuries.

I also punched myself in the throat once getting changed and had to go to A&E as I couldn’t swallow grin

Mummabear2212 Tue 22-Jan-19 13:18:28

At my dads wedding, dancing 'enthusiastically' to Gangnam style (perhaps after a glass or two of wine) and slipped. It hurt instantly, but in an effort not to disrupt the wedding, I stood and did the macarena. Said nothing, even when I couldn't cut my own breakfast the next day and we drove home before I found out I had broken my wrist! It's never quite been forgotten..!

Riotingbananas Tue 22-Jan-19 13:21:38

I've shut my - really quite small - nose in a door. Had to be checked out for a break as it was so painful.

I've broken my fibula and dislocated bones in my ankle by slipping over in the garden on the one patio slab that didn't have snow on it .

I once ran a large piece of medical equipment over my toe and then fainted, banging my head.

And I've got a permanent scar from an egg cup injury.

Natsku Tue 22-Jan-19 13:32:38

I didn't mind the gap when getting on the tube and one leg slipped down to the knee, which bashed very hard on the edge of the train. Massively bruised and very painful for weeks.

DD gave herself her first black eye last week, cross country skiing in PE. She was trying to avoid crashing into a classmate so turned suddenly, fell over and kicked herself in the face with her ski.

guildingthelily Tue 22-Jan-19 13:34:59

When I was about 16/17, my friend was giving me a piggyback on some cobbles. She tripped and I fell flat in my face. Scraped my nose and left with a phallic shaped scab on the bridge of my schnoz. Not a good look!

Natsku Tue 22-Jan-19 13:37:10

Oh I have a friend a piggyback when I was drunk and fell flat on my face, breaking my nose and she banged her knee really bad and it gave her trouble for months. Also a friend gave me a piggyback when drunk and he fell backwards so I landed on the back of my head and gave myself mild brain damage (I didn't go to the doctor until a week later when my headache wouldn't go away and he told me off quite severely!)

In retrospect, piggybacks when drunk are a bad idea, and probably a bad idea when sober too.

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