SIL (DHs sister) and DH don’t really see eye to eye, they are very different people. He sees her as very high maintenance, jealous and selfish. Where as DH is very laid back. SIL is quite a bit older than DH and must be seen to be doing better. Whatever we have / get she has to get bigger and better and really makes it known with her constant bragging and it really winds DH up.
DH and BIL get on really well and I know if BIL wasn’t on the scene he wouldn’t see SIL. He tolerates her, I get on with her ok as I’m not easily wound up by her I let her brag but it washes over me. I don’t see life as a competition like her.
We hosted DHs family over Xmas. BIL gave DH the dates for mutual friends stag, turns out DH can’t go as it clashes with our family holiday.
A hour or so later SIL said she had a great idea as we are all away at the same time why doesn’t she come on holiday with us so she’s not missing out.
I told her straight and said “we don’t do holidays with others due to previous bad experiences in the past. It is our first family holiday since DS was born (he’s now 7) and since DH changed jobs (he doesn’t see the DC for 5 days a week, every other week due to new hours) and were looking forward to spending some quality time with just us four. She seemed to accept that and said it’s fine not to worry.
A week or so later they stopped in for a flying visit to borrow some tools, DH was in the garage and SIL brought it up again. She said she feels upset that we are all going away and it’s not fair on her and she wants to come away with us. BIL stepped in before I could speak and said she was embarrassing herself, she had already asked and has been told no, she’s already got two holidays booked this year and to drop it.
Me and DH spoke after they left and he said if she comes away with us he’s not going. I do get on with her more than DH but 10 days joined at the hip with her is far too much and the thought fills me with dread aswell as DH.
I really thought that was the end of the matter, seems not. She messaged late last night I’ve only seen it this morning. “She’s been looking online and the prices are going up, she would really love to come so can we reconsider and let her know what dates we go and come back so she can book it”
She knows what hotel were staying at as we previously went to the same hotel 8/9 years ago and they went to the same hotel a couple of months later. We spoke about it Xmas day before she tried to invite herself. She even said it was ok but not as good as more expensive hotel down the road they stayed at last year. She doesn’t know our exact dates just we will be away over the stag do.
I honestly don’t know what to say, I’ve tried a few times to draft a message and I don’t know how to get the point across. She’s clearly messaged me rather than DH as he will tell her to piss off.
The problem is we’re not actually going until July and it’s going to be a long time of her asking if I can’t set her straight once and for all.
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Been put in a really akward situation with SIL and having to say no to her request for the 3rd time.
StarsAndStripesX · 17/01/2019 08:22
Appeal to her competitiveness... "Sorry, no. Like I said before, we want to keep it just us as our first family holiday with DS. Why don't you get together with a friend to do something? You could get a much nicer hotel!"
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