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Help! I've been asked why I've deleted someone from Facebook. What do I say?

(92 Posts)
GunpowderGelatine Thu 13-Dec-18 15:52:09

Had a bit of a Facebook clear out. I don't have loads of friends but I figured if I wouldn't stop and speak to someone on the street they probably don't belong on my Facebook.

So I deleted a mum who I knew when my DD was at nursery (she's now in year 1 so not been in nursery for over a year). We were never friends, chatted at parties and met up for a couple of play dates at softplay, but that's it.

Literally 2 minutes later she's messaged me to ask if she's done something wrong as she noticed I have deleted her 😬 does Facebook tell you when someone deletes you?!

If I told the truth I'd be saying "I don't know you that well and your attention seeking statuses are very annoying" - but what does a total wuss like me actually say <stares tempted at block button> grin

cjt110 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:29:48

"Nowt I wanna tell you thanks you nosy cunt" grin

HildaZelda Thu 13-Dec-18 16:30:12

Ignore her.

Notgoodatchoosingnames Thu 13-Dec-18 16:30:23

I did this a couple of years ago. Then a girl I used to be in school with (we were in our late 20's by this point) messaged me saying "I notice you deleted me and that isn't very nice"
I tried to work out how to respond then decided that she already thought I wasn't nice so what was the point in responding.
The crazy thing was we never really spoke in school and had no contact since being on FB!!
That reminds me, I need to do another cull soon...

Twickerhun Thu 13-Dec-18 16:31:50

‘Sorry I’ve got to be careful what I say. Official secrets act and what not.’

cjt110 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:33:20

""Nowt I wanna tell you thanks you nosy cunt" I really ought to work on my responses and put a filter between brain and fingers/mouth

PickAChew Thu 13-Dec-18 16:35:37

People get so touchy about this. They have apps that automatically tweet stuff like "3 people followed me and 6 people unfillowed me, today"

Probably because they were sick of the automated tweets.

But, yeah, just tell her honestly that your paring right down for personal reasons.

Bluetrews25 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:37:36

Block, don't reply.
Sadly, your 'security reasons' will have her asking all sorts of questions of others! Best to prepare a good answer, as it will get back to her!

fringegrin45 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:39:04

I unfriend people all the time, I just say I keep trying to quit/cut back on social media - it's really because I find it creepy not knowing which randoms from my past is reading my posts/lurking.

@FurryDogMother What's Facebook purity?

dippledorus Thu 13-Dec-18 16:39:53

I had this happen when I deleted someone. Literally 2 mins after I deleted them they were messaging to find out why.

I blocked them in the end because they were being a needy twat - in your case, I'd just say "I want to keep it to close friends and family only".

Or just block and ignore.

I have all sorts of people on restricted/ignore now because I'm too chicken to delete them lol

KurriKurri Thu 13-Dec-18 16:41:11

Why what's happened?"

An incident has occurred which is a threat to security. I can say no more.
Please destroy this message. If you ever see me again, I will be wearing a wig and a false moustache, please refer to me as 'Dave'. Thanks Hun.

cjt110 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:42:49

There is much value in "Who dis?"

itbemay Thu 13-Dec-18 16:43:08

I deleted someone once from Facebook, she had made a really nasty comment about someone we both knew so I deleted her - really didn't want to get into an argument or comment on what she had said so thought delete was easy option, bearing in mind it social media and I didn't 'delete' her IRL.

She got her husband to text me! - awful! really long text about how hurt she was etc and that I shouldn't blame her for her actions hmm

All very odd, her and her husband very rarely talk to us now, seen her a few times out and about and she has either been really over friendly or blanked me.

Very odd behaviour, in hindsight I prob should have just ignored the comment and moved on, came off Facebook shortly after that as found it an uncomfortable experience.

diddl Thu 13-Dec-18 16:45:07

You can get a notification if you're un/defriended?

Good lord-does it come with a health warning?

dippledorus Thu 13-Dec-18 16:45:21

I really have limited my facebook after she messaged me - it made me cut it right down to very close friends and family and I periodically review it and think "Am I actually having anything to do with this person" and if the answer is no I only interact on facebook then they go - with the exception of literally one person, who lives in Australia.

It's a horrible feeling to feel that someone is so obsessively watching that they notice right away - it feels intrusive and stalkery.

LunchBoxPolice Thu 13-Dec-18 16:45:55

I had the same thing today... I deleted some people from work last week after hearing that they were gossiping about me and tbh I'm too old for this shit . One of them came up to me today and said can I have a word outside? So we go outside and she says "why have you unfriended me on Facebook??!" hmm I said I was having a clear out and went back into the office. I can't believe she even noticed, weird.

TheOrigBrave Thu 13-Dec-18 16:48:36

Bloody hell, how me me me is she.

Does it occur to her that it might be about YOU, not HER.

Topseyt Thu 13-Dec-18 16:49:21

Sounds like she is now talking to you on FB Messenger. Give one of the replies about national security from here and then block her on Messenger too. I think you have to do it separately from the main FB.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc Thu 13-Dec-18 16:55:47

Oh god this happened to me and u ended up friending her again out of guilt fgrin

sunglasses123 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:56:07

Some people have a lot of time on their hands.

ScrantonTheElectricCity Thu 13-Dec-18 16:56:54

"I'd rather not say. Hope you are well" and block

HarrySnotter Thu 13-Dec-18 17:00:28

My friend always does this if she notices someone has deleted her. I ALWAYS tell her not to, that it's just Facebook and she ALWAYS ignores me and messages to ask people why they deleted her. Then she gets mega offended and never speaks to them again. 😂 She cracks me up.

BewareOfDragons Thu 13-Dec-18 17:01:55

"Too many needy casual acquaintances were doing my head in with their posts."

Then block.


Grace212 Thu 13-Dec-18 17:02:18

either ignore it, or tell her you have actually morphed into Sandra Oh. grin

delboysskinandblister Thu 13-Dec-18 17:04:38

who's Sandra? fwink

DarlingNikita Thu 13-Dec-18 17:07:51

God, has she got no life?

Ignore it.

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