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Help! I've been asked why I've deleted someone from Facebook. What do I say?

(92 Posts)
GunpowderGelatine Thu 13-Dec-18 15:52:09

Had a bit of a Facebook clear out. I don't have loads of friends but I figured if I wouldn't stop and speak to someone on the street they probably don't belong on my Facebook.

So I deleted a mum who I knew when my DD was at nursery (she's now in year 1 so not been in nursery for over a year). We were never friends, chatted at parties and met up for a couple of play dates at softplay, but that's it.

Literally 2 minutes later she's messaged me to ask if she's done something wrong as she noticed I have deleted her 😬 does Facebook tell you when someone deletes you?!

If I told the truth I'd be saying "I don't know you that well and your attention seeking statuses are very annoying" - but what does a total wuss like me actually say <stares tempted at block button> grin

CormoranStrike Thu 13-Dec-18 15:53:11

I’m doing some declutterinf for a quieter life, it’s nothing personal.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 13-Dec-18 15:53:53

No, Facebook doesn't. She must have seen her number drop and searched for who was missing...

To be honest; I'd probably just say it must have been a glitch or something, but that's not very straight!

You could tell the truth and say you've had a bit of a clear out and hadn't chatted in a while, if you wanted.

LastOneDancing Thu 13-Dec-18 15:54:58

Tell her it's not personal - you've stripped back your FB to family & close friends only.

It's also true.

ErictheGuineaPig Thu 13-Dec-18 15:55:17

You're having to lock your Facebook right down to close friends and family for safety reasons. Sounds like you've done the right thing, she's bonkers!!

snowone Thu 13-Dec-18 15:55:40

I'd just say that you have decided to only have close friends and family for personal reasons! grin

bananananananana Thu 13-Dec-18 15:57:37

That's some intense needy behaviour..

AdoreTheBeach Thu 13-Dec-18 15:58:19

FB doesn’t do notifications to the person deleted. It could be the number of her “friends” went down and she looked, or she got one of those general FB notifications about people you know to see if you want to add them as a friend. If she saw you there, clicked on your profile - which would then indicate you’re not friends. I think PP reply is a good one.

Another thing you can do is use the hide button. You’ll never see her posts unless you choose to click on her profile. You can also create a list of people who won’t see your posts. It’s a way to seem to be polite if concerned about unfriending but you don’t se them and they don’t see your posts.

FurryDogMother Thu 13-Dec-18 16:01:58

If she's running Facebook Purity (as I do), she will have had a notification that you've unfriended her. Just say 'nothing personal, was being overwhelmed with FB posts, needed to cut down a bit!'.

titchy Thu 13-Dec-18 16:03:55

'MI5 have advised me to remove all friend's prior to October of this year for reasons of national security.'

cjt110 Thu 13-Dec-18 16:04:22

Reply "Who dis?" grin

icannotremember Thu 13-Dec-18 16:05:32

I'd ignore her message, tbh. I know that's neither nice nor mature of me.

GunpowderGelatine Thu 13-Dec-18 16:07:35

Ooh I like saying it's for security reasons!

I honestly wouldn't know if people deleted me or not, how weird to check!

GunpowderGelatine Thu 13-Dec-18 16:14:35

Oh fuck.

I replied "No not at all, I've removed everyone except family and close friends for security reasons xx"

She's replied "Why what's happened?".

Manic stalker?
A serial killer is after me after I've been tracking her ever kill (oh how I long to be Sandra Oh)?

ShatnersBassoon Thu 13-Dec-18 16:16:22

I'd have just ignored the first message. Now just ignore the second message grin

icannotremember Thu 13-Dec-18 16:16:43

"For security reasons I'm afraid I can't answer that."

Theperfectchangeling Thu 13-Dec-18 16:18:03

“Who dis” gringrin

I have a needy weirdo like this... she is a neighbour of mine and a school mum. That’s the only reason I know her, she took sides with someone on my facebook who rounded on me over a totally innocuous comment (whom I also subsequently deleted) so I decided to delete her, as she isn’t my friend anyway, and I just didn’t see why she needed to get involved. Then she messaged me several times, “have I done something wrong? You have deleted me.”

Why shouldn’t I? Why does this random person need a window into and opinion on my life when we have no other particularly positive interaction? I just ignored the question and wished her well grin

Theperfectchangeling Thu 13-Dec-18 16:19:28

Of course you could just say... U OK hun?


Shepherdspieisminging Thu 13-Dec-18 16:19:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theperfectchangeling Thu 13-Dec-18 16:21:24

There will of course be someone along in a minute, to regale us all with a dead dog tale of how barbara the hairdresser she used in 1997 deleted her from facebook, she never got over it and how we are all horrible spiteful people.

LizB62A Thu 13-Dec-18 16:21:38

"I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you"

gamerwidow Thu 13-Dec-18 16:27:36

if you want to reply just say everything’s fine but FB security settings are a bit rubbish so you’ve scaled back.
If she contacts you again block and ignore you don’t owe this person an explanation.
Personally I’d have ignored her the first time.

myhamsteratefreddiestarr Thu 13-Dec-18 16:27:43

This is why it's best to just unfollow people rather than unfriend them, so you don't see what they post, but they never know that grin. I have had friends do that to each other.

I have been unfriended by people and do wonder why sometimes, especially when they are still smiley to your face, but never mind, people have different reasons for doing things.

brizzledrizzle Thu 13-Dec-18 16:28:39

Tell her you are going into a witness protection programme and then block her.

gamerwidow Thu 13-Dec-18 16:29:41

I’d wonder why close friends or family unfriended me but for anyone else i don’t think I’d even notice.

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