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Uncomfortable realisations about yourself

(592 Posts)
Casperandme Thu 18-Oct-18 08:57:14

I've had a couple of these recently, things I've realised about myself that are uncomfortable but at the same time things I wish I'd realised many years earlier.

In particular:
- there are all of these altruistic things I think I want to do one day but it's all bullshit, I don't actually want to, I just fancy myself the sort of person that would want to if that makes sense.
- I'm a gossip and I need to stop.

What are yours?

theyusedtocalltheblues Thu 18-Oct-18 09:00:53

- I’m very heavily dependent on others for my mental health needs

- I deliberately isolate myself from wider society as a coping mechanism

- I spend money recklessly without considering the consequences of my actions

tomatosalt Thu 18-Oct-18 09:02:31

I am too socially inept and lacking in drive to build a ‘proper’ career.

PhilODox Thu 18-Oct-18 09:05:03

I'm actually quite selfish, and it makes some aspects of parenting and shared living very hard.

I need my own space see above and need things "just so", and I hate it when they aren't that way, it makes me miserable.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets Thu 18-Oct-18 09:05:22

I am terminally lazy.

I don’t often see things through.

I’m very impulsive which feeds into spending and drinking too much.

But despite all this I do like myself. My many many good qualities (inc modesty obvs) far outweigh my sketchiness. grin

SputnikBear Thu 18-Oct-18 09:07:06

I’m unpleasant. I have no friends and it can’t possibly be everyone else’s fault. It must be me sad

PhilODox Thu 18-Oct-18 09:08:04

Fear of failure prevents me doing many things and I live vicariously through my children's achievements

Oh god, this thread is GOOD!

nonotes Thu 18-Oct-18 09:10:28

I'm judgemental, I love to gossip, I love to turn other people against other people if I don't like them. I only like a select few people. I also want a nice group of friends because I'm ok deep down, but few people stick around long enough to see that... any advice anyone?

BeeMyBaby Thu 18-Oct-18 09:12:06

When I am feeling down I am a hateful person. I spent my teenage years depressed and purposefully destroyed relationships and was very manipulative. I've spent the last 10 years in a safe place and was known to be very nice, everyone was my friend, I felt like a wonderful person and I tried so hard. However I've moved and I feel horrible again and I want everyone (bar my children) to suffer. I guess this is what it feels like to be a villain.

cheezy Thu 18-Oct-18 09:15:32

I sometimes feel a touch of schadenfreud at my friends misfortune blush blushsad

Grumpbum123 Thu 18-Oct-18 09:15:35

I give to much and actually need to be a little more selfish actually 2 months in psych unit has opened my eyes

freckleface12 Thu 18-Oct-18 09:18:40

I easily become codependent and over-analytical. It has just cost me a 5 year relationship with the love of my life, so I'm really hating myself at the moment.

crochetmonkey74 Thu 18-Oct-18 09:19:01

I have a terminally negative nagging inner voice- I never stop berating myself.

I am lazy and need LOADS of time on my own

I can be spoilt if I think my DP isn't putting me first (I never act on it but it makes me feel sulky inside)

troodiedoo Thu 18-Oct-18 09:22:36

I'm probably not as funny as I think I am.

I butt into other people's conversations too often.

My voice is whiny and annoying.

The first two mean I'm like my father which I really don't like, so trying to be aware and improve.

gothefcktosleep Thu 18-Oct-18 09:26:02

- I have convinced myself that I am generally unlikeable, meaning that when friendships do begin to blossom I convince my it’s some sort of trap. I have some wonderful friendships but I am constantly paranoid. (Clearly scars from bullying throughout school still very fresh 20 years on)

- the things I dislike in people are often things I see in myself or want for myself.

- I either waffle like a mad woman or get straight to the point. Makes conversations so awkward.

- I have been worrying about my weight for more than half my life.

katmunchkin Thu 18-Oct-18 09:27:07

I am inherently lazy and take pleasure in other peoples misfortune :-(

ShotsFired Thu 18-Oct-18 09:30:50

I am very very difficult to love, because I subconsciously "test" people to prove they do (because I don't believe I'm worth it).

And when I fail/am not good enough at what I perceive to be an acceptable standard of [whatever task or ability] I drop into a downward spiral of self-loathing that I wasn't good enough.

It's very hard to bear. As proven by my ex sad

Casperandme Thu 18-Oct-18 09:30:51

Iusedto those things are usually related aren't they?

Bezalelle Thu 18-Oct-18 09:32:15

Despite all the work I've done on myself over the years, I am still drawn like a moth to a flame to people whose personalities mirror my narc mother's.

Casperandme Thu 18-Oct-18 09:33:42

Shots someone close to me does this too! The tests. I wonder if they are as self aware as you are?

Another thing I've realised about me recently - I don't listen very well when in a social group situation and dominate with my stories which often aren't that funny

swissie Thu 18-Oct-18 09:34:54

I am insanely lazy

And VAIN. I'm finding aging so difficult.

Casperandme Thu 18-Oct-18 09:37:01

Me too swissie. I thought I'd age gracefully, but no

colditz Thu 18-Oct-18 09:37:32

My body language is shit.

I come across as brusque and unapproachable. when I'm actually anxious, and this just puts people off engaging with me, leaving me more anxious.

I think I'm autistic. Everyone I know that I have approached with this idea has said "Yes, I can see that!" My son is autistic. I'm a 38 year old woman who doesn't really know how to proceed with the next stage of adult life.

Snowymountainsalways Thu 18-Oct-18 09:38:35

I talk too much, and even when I know I should have shut up literally minutes before I can't easily conclude what I am saying, this can be made much worse when I am nervous.

I have however successfully managed to do things now and immediately and not forever putting things off to tomorrow.

WitsEnding Thu 18-Oct-18 09:38:50

I am too fond of my own space and have no idea how to reach out to people.

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