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Once again...Birthday party and siblings

(18 Posts)
7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 00:56:42

Hi All. I just needed it off my chest as I’m still fuming about what happened at my DS Bday party. I paid for 10 children including DS for a party in a trampoline center. Food was included in the cost. Anyway, on a day I got 2 extra kids - a few years older than DS. One is a sibling and another one was his friend (who also happened to be a sibling of one of the guests) I didn’t pay for the entrance for those 2 boys and I had been told by their Mums that they would only be there to jump on a trampline. Anyhow, the kids (our guests) had an hour and a half to run around and play and half an hour for food. To cut the story short. Those siblings had invited themselves to the party room where the table with food was arranged. And then sat at the table and ate with the party guests...As it was a pizza, and I only ordered it for 10 kids, basically, two of our guests were left with no pizza! I managed to divide some slices between the guests and it was bl**dy embarrassing! Also, the age of the invited guests was 5-7, and those two boys were 10 and 11, they are boys with a big appetite...At the end of a party they even asked for a party bag and I said NO!! Their Mums were not there, and I never had the heart to tell them afterwards how bl**dy cheeky it was! I’m on good terms with those boys’ Mums and it p*sses me off even more than they were so inconsiderate. Ok, I can imagine that now I will be called petty and bitter, but ...I did not invite them! I’m p*ssed off that some of our guests were left hungry! I will let it go eventually but right now I’m p*ssed off...

SleepingStandingUp Mon 24-Sep-18 00:58:24

Tbh I don't understand why you didn't just tell them to leave.

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:00:12

Sorry about the typos! blush

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:01:07

To leave where?! One of the boys parents were not even there...Where would he go?!

SleepWarrior Mon 24-Sep-18 01:02:37

I think this is one of those occasions where you decide to do what you feel is 'the right thing' (not speaking up), but your heart's not in it so you end up seething and resentful about it.

Hopefully lesson learned - say something nicely but firmly at the time or let it go properly, there's no comfortable middle ground!

SleepWarrior Mon 24-Sep-18 01:04:37

Couldn't they go back to the trampoline room? They weren't part of your party after all.

Zoflorabore Mon 24-Sep-18 01:06:01

I understand you felt unable to leave but they were not your responsibiliy op and 2 of your guests went hungry because of them?

Sorry but this is a bit of a cop out. There are ways to say uncomfortable things nicely.
If there was plenty of food then I can see why you would say nothing but leaving 2 little ones with scraps of people's food is not on ( and you have essentially paid for the older boys meal ).

Did they have anything else? I can't imagine a place that is so rigid on portion control though, were there X amount of slices per child?

I would be a bit more assertive in future parties.

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:08:01

As much as I didn’t want them there, I couldn’t ask them to leave. They are still underage and I felt responsible for them? Well, another one had a father there who was looking after DS’s friend (he is the one who brought the uninvited children to the party) I suppose I could be firm and I could have said they are not allowed at the table..,But I’m just angry that I was put in that position in the first place.

SleepingStandingUp Mon 24-Sep-18 01:08:19

Oh sorry boys, the party room is just for the little ones. You can carry on the trampolines til your mom gets here I'm sure / do you want to cal your mom and tell her your time is up / you can sit in here but the dogs is for the little ones

SleepingStandingUp Mon 24-Sep-18 01:10:15

Cross post. So the] Dad who bought the two older boys was there? Then you say to him Oh hi Tim, the party room is just for the little ones, I only ordered food for the ones we invited so are you OK to take them back out / send them to the cafe /whatever

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:11:08

Absolutely! Lesson is learned. Next time it will be a firm No to siblings. I only have one child. Even though he is 7, the Bday parties is a bit of an unknown territory to me and I learn something new every year...

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:14:32

I wish I said it to him... I’m a bit shy and it was all so stressful tbh...I still don’t understand why their Morhers would send them to a party...The cafe was already shut and they couldn’t go back on a trampoline...

SleepingStandingUp Mon 24-Sep-18 01:17:51

Hoping they could cf their way to a mornings peace.

You have a year to practice being more assertive. Sorry, the party is only for 10 and there's no room or food for them Inn the party room.

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 01:18:54

It’s not a portion control per se, they were given 3 pizzas for 10 kids (or 4!) so the older boys are quick eaters...Everyone got a slice or two but a couple of guests couldn’t have more pizza because it was already gone. Because there were 2 boys at the table who ate quicker...

Zoflorabore Mon 24-Sep-18 01:34:28

Oh I see. Thanks for explaining.

I have a 7yr old too but also a 15yr old so have done a fair few parties over the years.
They are never easy!

Toughen up a bit for next year op ( i mean that nicely ) and maybe make it clear on invites that any siblings will not be included in numbers.

CallMeRachel Mon 24-Sep-18 02:01:20

I'd have reported them to the reception staff and asked for their parents to collect them.

All kids need parental permission to trampoline don't they? So contact details should have been there.

Also, staff should be on hand to help manage things like intruders at the party table, that's partly why you pay extortionate prices isn't it?

PawneeParksDept Mon 24-Sep-18 11:12:59

I don't understand this new phenomenon tbh.

Parents demanding to bring siblings or requesting the invite be extended? It's Cheeky As Fuck and I don't understand why such rudeness has become the norm.

It never happened when I was growing up, and organised out of home parties were a thing by then.

I understand that it's because people don't want one child stropping that the other has a party or they just want a bit of free childcare when

a) it's a life lesson that sometimes it's your turn and sometimes it's not
b) your child your responsibility

You are in the right OP, I get annoyed whenever I see these threads as the blinkered rudeness of it aggravates me just reading about it

Next year I would write clearly on every invite


Everyone knows that the people who do this are pisstakers and perhaps if you take a stand others who feel the same will too.

7vio Mon 24-Sep-18 11:36:54

Thank you all for your replies. I really should have just told the father who brought the kids (two of which were his own plus two neughbours’s) that only the younger ones are can eat and play in the party room. I’m also angry with myself that I just let this happen. I’m not English so I think I didn’t want any confrontations IYKWIM. Parties are stressful enough with organizing food, party bags etc and then there is this...So like someone suggested, I thought I was doing the “right thing” by letting those two sit at the table but inside I was just so angry with the parents...Even if they told their older kids not to eat party food and not take part in any entertainment, those boys are 10 and 11, of course it’s hard for them to stay away. I just needed this of my chest. I can see how this is partially my own fault for not stepping in. They were queuing for the cake and asked for the party bags too..,

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