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Rude & unpleasant people

(8 Posts)
frankiesamson Wed 22-Aug-18 01:16:59

One of our friends always mentioned she seems to encounter a lot of rude & angry people, and sometimes it really gets her down. We always thought she probably imagined it.. no one treats her differently to anyone else. However, I spent about a month with her recently and oh my word the sheer volume of angry people she seems to attract is ridiculous- to the point where I found myself defending her on more than one occasion.

I can't work out why she attracts anger or bad will from people- she's the kindest & most mild mannered person you could meet, pretty similar to many of my other friends.

I wondered if maybe people didn't realise how rude they are being to her.. maybe she just put them at ease knowing she'd never retaliate?

She had a security camera installed at the front door while I was there, and the difference in the way everyone at her doorstep behaved after the installation, was so obvious, it was such a sudden change. I'd say 50% were horrible to her before & 0% afterwards... including new people she'd never met.

The fact that everyone is so nice to her in front of the security camera makes you realise people must be fully aware of their behaviour and so it can't be down to a simple lack of social skills.

I just thought I'd share this.. although it's a good tip, it also makes me feel a bit disgusted by the way so many people are aware of their behaviour but do nothing to self-correct unless on camera.

Wellmeaning Wed 22-Aug-18 01:22:10

So do you think she’s giving out subliminal info to people in general that make them think “she’s a pushover .. treat her like one.”?
Why do they behave like this to her specifically, do you think?

Wellmeaning Wed 22-Aug-18 01:23:48

My theory about the BB way we live now is they’re replacing God 😁

People used to be afraid of going to hell, now they’re afraid of going viral for behaving like a twat.

Wellmeaning Wed 22-Aug-18 01:24:39

they’re = cameras

Rebecca36 Wed 22-Aug-18 01:32:30

I feel sorry for your friend. The only way she is attracting people who are rude to her is by putting up with it! Maybe behaving as though she doesn't notice. You noticed and had a go at them, perhaps she needs to do the same and you can encourage her.

Not that there is any excuse for rudeness. What's more her rude visitors are cowards, not being so antsy in front of the cameras.

Monkeymonstermum Wed 22-Aug-18 01:39:43

@wellmeaning - I LOVE that theory!!!

frankiesamson Wed 22-Aug-18 09:52:38

Hi everyone, I don't know why she attracts it. She is one of the nicest people I know but she isn't a push over. She makes wise decisions & she has had to say "I won't be spoken to like that in my house" & had to kick a tradesman out before- she'd never do this unless they were extremely rude.

There was a time she was going through a healthy fad diet & gym twice a day.. we all thought it was too much, but she has insisted after 6 months she looked healthier & everyone treated her better. Now I've seen it for myself I'm actually starting to believe her.

The only reason I can think for this is that when she puts on a tiny bit of weight (fat), it goes to her face & makes her face droop a bit like a resting bitch face... she's more relaxed but people who don't know her seem to think she looks upset. When she's on a strict diet her face shape rests differently.

We all insisted she was imagining it all but I feel like eating my words after everything I've witnessed. People do seem to judge her purely based on looks.. I just find it a bit disappointing.

Most of us will subscribe to clichés such as "it's not what you look like it's who you are inside", but it seems the reality is a lot harsher than most of us are willing to accept.

frankiesamson Wed 22-Aug-18 09:58:28

I'm the exact opposite- when I put on weight my boobs get big & people seem to warm to me more 😂

I noticed that when she stood up for herself, some people were completely shocked like they didn't expect that from her... others just became even more rude. I just feel a bit sickened by it all, for her.

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