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Who's the weirdo here? Him or me?

(167 Posts)
HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 16:42:10

I greet my family, friends and acquaintances with varying degrees of hugs and kisses. Real kisses and big squeezes for family and BFFs; genuine hugs and air kisses for other friends, hand on shoulder and air cheek kiss for acquaintances.

I say this is NORMAL

Friend says it's WEIRD and is because I'm posh (I'm not) or because I live in an inbred sort of county (I do, but I'm not!).

Friend doesn't kiss or hug anyone ever for any type of greeting. Which I think is really really odd.

Can MN please settle this?

flametrees Sat 11-Aug-18 16:43:30

I never kiss anyone except my own kids.

AnExcellentUsername Sat 11-Aug-18 16:44:07

I'm not a very tactile person bur could just about cope with the hugging... the kisses are a bit much.

MsOliphant Sat 11-Aug-18 16:45:42

Well it's not weird for you.

But it sounds positively horrifying to me.

Celticdawn5 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:45:44

I am completely confused about how to greet people nowadays

HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 16:46:58

BTW literally every single person I know does what I do.

I don't know anyone (apart from friend) who doesn't hug / kiss people hello and goodbye.

So if I go round my BFFs for a family meal I give her a big hug, her husband a small hug and cheek kiss. The same in reverse.

Celticdawn5 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:47:36

I really wish I hadn’t started with the cheek kissing business

lola212121 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:48:19

aren't you afraid you will offend somebody ?

HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 16:48:37

It is a mind field isn't Celtic?

pippop1317 Sat 11-Aug-18 16:49:52

I'm a massive hugger. Probably at times inappropriate. But I don't care.
I have one friend who literally doesn't hugs/touches anyone. If u get a hug from her then you must be having a bad day.

HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 16:49:57

Lola no, because EVERYONE does it!!

I feel bad when I miss the opportunity to do a cheek kiss, and the moment passes looking like I've snubbed them!

Further details... I don't cheek kiss school mum friends at school, but it's the norm for attending children's parties

YeTalkShiteHen Sat 11-Aug-18 16:52:59

Oh god people I barely know touching me freaks me right out.

I hug my dad when he’s leaving/we’re leaving, used to do the same with Mum when she was alive.

I hug my friends if they’re upset and want a hug.

Mind you, I’m autistic and really really struggle with physical contact unless it’s DP or the kids so I’m probably not the best barometer.

MsOliphant Sat 11-Aug-18 16:54:51

I'm also autistic....

I slept with now DH before I would cuddling him. To me cuddling someone was just too intimate until we'd built up some trust. I know how illogical that sounds.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Sat 11-Aug-18 16:55:49

Your way certainly seems to be the norm now but certainly wasn't 20 years ago (not in UK anyway)

I have 'adapted' to the new norms and will hug/kiss friends family when greeting them if that is clearly what the other party wants or expects

I was perfectly happy not doing this for the first 25 years of my life but it seems unavoidable now so I just tend to go along with it

Neither of you ABU

YeTalkShiteHen Sat 11-Aug-18 16:56:51

I slept with now DH before I would cuddling him. To me cuddling someone was just too intimate until we'd built up some trust. I know how illogical that sounds

FWIW I get it.

LlamaPyjamas Sat 11-Aug-18 16:58:02

If I rarely see someone and I really love them I might hug them goodbye. But it would be parents and immediate family only.

I never ever kiss. It’s gross. I don’t want someone’s herpes on my face.

HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 17:00:18

I don't have herpes

Nottheduchessofcambridge Sat 11-Aug-18 17:01:40

That would be hell for me, I hug my immediate family, nobody else. I shuddered at the thought of all that touching! I could feel
My body trying to crawl into itself, I may have issues. That’s normal for me, your way is normal for you. Just be aware that not all people think the same way you do.

snozzlemaid Sat 11-Aug-18 17:05:16

Everyone you know does it probably because they don't have a choice once you've launched yourself at them.
I'd hate it but would go along with it if someone did this to me. I'm too polite to back off.
I'm not a hugger or kisser apart from dp and my dcs.

Bombardier25966 Sat 11-Aug-18 17:06:20

What is the point in an air kiss? It's like saying you want to be polite but don't actually want to touch them. Feels false to me.

Bombardier25966 Sat 11-Aug-18 17:07:47

And do you make a noise when you do it? "Mwah!"

QuestionableMouse Sat 11-Aug-18 17:09:44

Oh god no. I hate this sort of thing sorry.

HelpfulHermione Sat 11-Aug-18 17:10:00

Cheeks touch. Kiss gets sent into the air

ShatnersBassoon Sat 11-Aug-18 17:11:54

I'd be uncomfortable with any sort of affectionate display from an acquaintance. There's no need to be putting your face close to someone just because you recognise them. I hug and kiss family, and very rarely friends (extreme emotion moments).

ShatnersBassoon Sat 11-Aug-18 17:13:27

Oh god, you touch their face with your face? That's not nice for lots of people, but difficult to get away from without causing upset.

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