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Threads started in this topic after 9th November 2018 will no longer be removed after 90 days. A new topic called 90 Days Only can be found in the Other Stuff category of Talk.

40 and clueless...

(8 Posts)
BJF1978 Fri 10-Aug-18 23:20:07

My wife and I are having our first child. She is 36 and 4 months pregnant and we are both very excited about our new addition! I am 40 though and have never really been around children I'm worried that I am going to be rubbish at being a father. I work abroad quite a lot and my wife will be at home with the baby while I am away. We have chatted about getting a nanny to take the pressure off her a little while I am away, however, I am worried that it is going to be frowned upon when the baby is at such an early age, or is it quite the norm to ask for help from the word go?? Like I said.... clueless......

Wobble85 Fri 10-Aug-18 23:39:53

Honestly if you feel help is needed, just ask
a new born is a lot of hard work, physically and mentally.
Many think it's easy as newborns sleep not me the day/evening, but it's exhausted.
Many things you will pick up and learn as you go a long, and I'm sure you'll be a great dad as you grow.
There's no shame im asking, wanting, or needing a little help as you come upon the journey that is parenting. Good luck to you both

Wobble85 Fri 10-Aug-18 23:41:18

Most of*
Nov not me. Stupid predictive keyboard

Topseyt Sat 11-Aug-18 00:08:13

If she is not likely to have other support around while you are away and she is happy with the idea of the nanny then I would say go for it.

Newborns and small children are very hard work. If you can afford some paid help then why not? I don't see why it should be crowned upon.

Anyway, you do what suits you and your family. Anyone else's opinion is irrelevant really.

I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

Topseyt Sat 11-Aug-18 00:09:43

Frowned upon, not crowned. Stupid autocorrect!!

Sevendown Sat 11-Aug-18 00:44:05

Get a nanny.

It’s very isolating being alone with a baby all the time

MissConductUS Sat 11-Aug-18 00:52:46

For my second I had help from a doula for two months or so. It was a godsend. Get the nanny, it will be a huge help.

LoveMoreSleepPlease Sat 11-Aug-18 05:49:04

Getting some home help sounds like a good idea if you'll be away - shopping, washing, cleaning, cooking etc. That's the sort of stuff my husband did when we had our first

I breastfed so he couldn't help with that but was great to get help with everything else as feeding takes a lot of time and energy!

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