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Threads started in this topic after 9th November 2018 will no longer be removed after 90 days. A new topic called 90 Days Only can be found in the Other Stuff category of Talk.

What are your best experiences of mansplaining?

(175 Posts)
DeathByMascara Thu 09-Aug-18 17:23:12

Having thoroughly enjoyed reading the thread about not murdering ones colleague, I was wondering if anyone would like to share their own experiences of mansplaining? Luckily I haven’t been on the receiving end of it, but I do have a client who always assumes I’ve done something wrong. Last time, he was really aggressive at pointing it out, and maintains that I don’t know what I’m doing (not that he gave me the wrong information to start with...). Obviously a young woman can’t do her job accurately.

Not a TAAT, just inspired by!

IamtheDevilsAvocado Fri 10-Aug-18 13:22:29

Can you give the original thread please?

borisinajohnson Fri 10-Aug-18 13:50:07

I had 18 years experience in my field, postgraduate qualifications in the field etc. when my (hideous) boss decided to get a consultant in. I’d just smashed all my targets, too. Totally blown them out of the water. Consultant was male, 60s, no experience in our field. Couldn’t use a computer. We had this exchange on his second day, AFTER he had written down his email address and password and asked me to “be a dear and get his email on the screen”hmm

Him: let me tell you something about business, Boris
Me: err, ok....
Him: is your husband in business?
Me: eh?
Him: [points at my wedding ring] your husband, is he in business?
Me: err, I’m not sure why you’re asking me
Him: I’m trying to understand what you know about business! [grabs my notebook off me and starts drawing in it] have you heard of a shotgun?
Me: I don’t really follow you
Him: here is how a shotgun works! look at my picture, do you see? [frantically drawing]
Me: Im off to grab a coffee while you finish your picture. There are some highlighters on my desk if you want to add any colour to it.

And I walked out. Fuming inside but proud of my response. I resigned shortly after. He was the most arrogant man, and mansplained everything. Everything. My female boss was awful too but she seemed to be impressed by his weird misogynistic displays. She was furious with me for walking away too. Very odd place. Not sure who was worse actually but I wish I’d kept that drawing.... 🤣🤣🤣

BlancheM Fri 10-Aug-18 14:00:51

I don't have a corker like Boris, just general stuff DP does for example, telling me all about books I enjoy and have read maybe 5 times, tv series I know inside out or my favourite films or albums. Sit down to watch a film sometimes and he'll start trying to school me about it! I just tune it out. Or I mention an artist and he'll go, 'oh you'd quite like such-and-such...' well yes, I do.

MsOliphant Fri 10-Aug-18 14:04:17

An ex of mine (when I was moaning about quite severe period pain)

'I mean it's a natural monthly process, it's hardly taken you by surprise has it, you just need to find a way to approach it without being too negative and giving into the pain. Because clutching a hot water bottle to your stomach all evening isn't a very productive way to deal with it. Maybe go for a walk, do some stretches?'

GoneWishing Fri 10-Aug-18 14:07:13

@IamtheDevilsAvocado I think OP means this thread:

I don't really have any very interesting examples. I did work on a project after graduating where I was "supervising" a couple of students. One of the guys did very eagerly explain every single thing to me, but I mostly put it down to over-eagerness. It was odd, though. He was in the same university, doing the same degree I had recently graduated with, so why he thought he needed to tell me is anyone's guess.

Thisnamechanger Fri 10-Aug-18 14:09:17

I had someone try to mansplain to me why feminism is irrelevant in today's society.

Thisnamechanger Fri 10-Aug-18 14:10:00

MsOliphant I would have actually killed him.

Nice Username by the way, I like that book too grin

MarthaArthur Fri 10-Aug-18 14:10:08

Loads! I have had a man mansplain my period to me and how it works and the function of it. I have had my hormones mansplained to me. I had a man mansplain lesbianism to me once as well. Pure dickishness.

KatnissK Fri 10-Aug-18 14:13:42

I had a man explain to me on social media why feminism is not needed in this day and age in the UK. He had studied Women's Studies and written a thesis on the topic. He emailed me said thesis so I could "educate" myself. Needless to say, I did not read it. I deleted the email and blocked him.

Thisnamechanger Fri 10-Aug-18 14:14:50

KatnissK Snap! Although my guy had very obviously never been near a book

MsOliphant Fri 10-Aug-18 14:14:51

Thisnamechanger its great isn't it, I'm slightly apprehensive about who they'll get to play her in the screen version though...

As for the ex, I think I may have thrown my hot water bottle at him and yelled NO UTERUS NO OPINION grin

Which of course played right into his hands as I got another lecture about PMT and how periods make women violent hmm

thefirstmrsdewinter Fri 10-Aug-18 14:14:52

Fantastic book:

Buffythevampireslayerr Fri 10-Aug-18 14:15:41

This guy I know was explaining to me how I edited a photo and what I should have done instead.

I'm a professional photographer, doing a photography art degree. I got a distinction for said photo. He was wrong with telling me how I edited it, and I should not have done what he suggested either. Oh, also, the only camera he owns is the one on his phone. Wanker.

53rdWay Fri 10-Aug-18 14:15:45

I had a man mansplain something about the area I work in once, during a job interview. I was interviewing him. He didn’t get the job.

MVLipwig Fri 10-Aug-18 14:17:24

A friends boyfriend was sat with us, 5 female physiotherapy students, happily explaining how chiropractors are far superior, physios waste their time training for 3 years and are ultimately just conning people. I still want to shout at him

SaturdaySauv Fri 10-Aug-18 14:17:43

Man who works in the facilities team explaining to our head of Finance how holiday pay is calculated grin

SittingAround1 Fri 10-Aug-18 14:18:06

I had a question about a projector once. One of those ones in meeting rooms.

Anyway, male colleague obviously couldn't be bothered to listen to my question but proceeded to explain to me that the box thing on the table was the projector, that when you plugged it in it projected the image from the computer screen onto the wall.

No shit Sherlock.

AgathaRaisonDetra Fri 10-Aug-18 14:18:06

Jesus doing the cooking and feeding 5,000 people just with a bit of fish and bread.

Thisnamechanger Fri 10-Aug-18 14:20:43

I was incredibly proud of my reaction at this party actually. Turns out the guys wasn't actually invited and was an abusive partner of one of the invited guests. The party was hosted by my wonderful friends who are a gay couple and are both fierce feminists. He started on his auto-witter rant, occasionally appealing to me to agree with him, and eventually ran out of steam and noticed I'd not said a SINGLE WORD while he ranted, just blinked at him. Then proceeded to have a go at me for not saying anything and not agreeing with him. My DP was standing next to me, who knows I'm a very outspoken feminist, and hand his arm around me like I was a racehorse about to bolt. Then I went and hugged to party hostess and told her there was a man outside explaining why feminism is nonsense. She practically incredible hulked his ass out of there - it was a JOY.

TitsalinaBumSquash Fri 10-Aug-18 14:27:31

I don't know if it's mansplaining (I'm never quite sure what it is!) but I have someone in my life, an acquaintance.

I have a child with a health condition at an advanced stage, there is nothing I don't know about this condition, I work closely with leading consultants and Heath professionals and also run a charity based on this condition. However, this acquaintance insisted on expanding to me to workings of the main effected body part of this condition as if I knew nothing, he was very pleased with himself. hmm

borisinajohnson Fri 10-Aug-18 14:28:24

Christ msOliphabt!!
I had an ex who seemed to think he was my school teacher. He’d constantly ask me questions like “do you know why the sky is blue?”, “Do you know the difference between bitter and lager?”So he could tell me the answer. Dick. Once he tried to tell me the reason the clouds were moving was because of the earth’s rotation... 🤣 when I said I thought it was actually due to the wind he stomped off and locked me out of our house!! 🤔 he was 38! Unsurprisingly we broke up very shortly after that!

Isleepinahedgefund Fri 10-Aug-18 14:33:41

Ex used to show me where things were in the supermarket I have shopped in regularly for years and he had never been in until we were together. How had I ever found the mustard without him?! He did it in my local shop too, he’d explain where the milk was every time. Thank goodness - I’d gone without milk in my tea until then as I couldn’t find the fridges in the 20ft square shop.

InDubiousBattle Fri 10-Aug-18 14:40:12

Many years ago I worked in a call centre. Me and another woman dealt with trickier complaints so had quite a lot of discretion when it came to crediting customers if we'd screwed up. We had a manager say to us 'the thing I want you to remember girls, is that every time you issue a credit it costs the company money' . No shit. Unbelievably my colleague kept a perfectly straight face and said 'gosh, I had no idea'.

arwenearlythereyet Fri 10-Aug-18 14:49:54

I had a brilliant experience of this.

On a train, not sure I had the right one. Asked 2 blokes sitting in the carriage. One of them explained to me - kindly, and at length - that the train destinations are shown on the screens on the platforms. He then suggested that we pop out and have a look, so he can tell me how they work.

Still not sure why - think stunned by the sheer mansplaining - but I got off the train and went and had a look at the screens with him.

At which point we found that I had the right train. His train was just pulling out of the platform opposite.

Still makes me laugh.

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