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Having 30th birthday party need to hide pregnancy

(56 Posts)
CocoJones Thu 09-Aug-18 01:25:47

Hi ... so I’m having a birthday party for my 30th in a few weeks time. My partner and I are going through IUI (we’ve had one failed cycle and are going through with round number 2 now) so there’s a chance I may be pregnant at the time of the party but we will be one week off being able to take a test to see.
So..... how the heck do I get around the not drinking situation without having questions arise.
We did think about taking my own whisky bottle filled with iced tea and having them use that behind the bar for anyone who ordered a drink for me... however we realised that how would they charge for that. We would buy 2/3 glasses of coke when we got there so that I had plenty by time people came and I could occasionally ask for a cola as a “break from the alcohol” but only so many times you can do that. Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Mousefunky Thu 09-Aug-18 01:59:39

If you would be a week away from testing, you probably wouldn’t have even implanted yet so there’s absolutely no risk to any potential pregnancy whatsoever. There’s not even a real risk before the yolk sac transforms into a placenta so women worry unnecessarily when they have drank heavily or taken drugs before their missed period, for example. I really wouldn’t worry about drinking.

If you do want to abstain, just think of an excuse such as antibiotics, not feeling very well, being designated driver etc.

Jelly67 Thu 09-Aug-18 02:01:21

Hi, my friend was pregnant over Christmas & New Year and we're Irish so there's literally no way you would get away with saying "I'm driving" or "on antibiotics". She was at countless parties and nights out and would just order one glass of red wine and hold it all night. If anyone offered to get her one she'd say "I'm grand, just got one" or in your case "thanks a million, someone just bought me one but maybe later on?"... if they insist on still buying you one, just leave it down somewhere (I know it's a terrible waste), or let DP drink it, or... engage the help of a close family member/friend to do same! Tbh at my 30th I was so busy trying to get around to talk to everyone that I ended up barely drinking anyway! Same at my wedding! Best of luck in your IUI journey flowers

Iputthescrewinthetuna Thu 09-Aug-18 02:07:21

Whatever you do, do not say you are on antibiotics! I never believe anybody who says that!

The day before your drinks randomly drop into conversation with anybody who will be there, that your head is pounding, drop in that 'it better be gone by tomorrow'
Put in your bag, ibpruprofen and paracetamol.
When people ask you why you are not drinking, tell them your head has been pounding for a few days and u don't want it to get any worse, so decided you are not drinking!

Or

Drop into conversation that you have decided that being 30, you have decided to look after yourself better and want to go tee total, and you are going on a massive health kick!

Or

Tell people you have been drinking all day whilst getting ready...possibly too much and any more will tip u over the edge.

Any of those believable?

Candyflip Thu 09-Aug-18 02:16:43

When I had to take steroids, I was told to avoid alcohol. I didn’t because I thought it was like taking antibiotics, but it wasn’t, I was very sick! You could say that.

Redglitter Thu 09-Aug-18 02:55:30

Why not just buy a coke and if anyone asks sat it's vodka & coke. If they offer to buy you one say thanks but you've got one and another one over there - waving vaguely in the direction of another table

TiffanyAtBreakfast Thu 09-Aug-18 02:58:57

When questioned I always just said, I've had a headache / felt a bit crap all day, and I'm trying not to make it worse. Then hastily change subject grin

Hope y

TiffanyAtBreakfast Thu 09-Aug-18 02:59:31

Grr. ** Hope you enjoy your birthday!

CantankerousCamel Thu 09-Aug-18 03:00:18

Mocktails!

TurquoiseButterfly19 Thu 09-Aug-18 06:35:49

I’d say I’ve had D&V for the last couple of days and you aren’t feeling good enough to drink.

Chrisinthemorning Thu 09-Aug-18 06:47:49

Say you have a UTI starting?

CustardOmlet Thu 09-Aug-18 07:07:33

I was 8wks pregnant at my 30th and just blurted it out as soon as I sat down, I didn’t mean to but all my plans of how I was going to keep quiet were forgotten - I’m a crap liar!

welshweasel Thu 09-Aug-18 07:09:22

Until you’ve had a positive test there’s no need to stop drinking. By all means moderate your intake but don’t panic about a few glasses!

kaytee87 Thu 09-Aug-18 07:09:39

Just have a drink. Nothing will have implanted let alone grown a placenta for alcohol to cross over.

kaytee87 Thu 09-Aug-18 07:12:04

And if you're worried about a potential pregnancy then drinking tonnes of cola isn't advised either.

PotteringAlong Thu 09-Aug-18 07:12:44

No excuse you can come up with is even vaguely believable and everyone will think you’re pregnant.

The difficulty you have is that, if you’re not pregnant, you have inadvertently created a scenario where lots of people think you are.

I think you’re going to have to pretend to drink by nursing one all night / just coke / tonic water and leaving it or just drink because, as a pp said, that early on you’re fine.

marvellousnightforamooncup Thu 09-Aug-18 07:19:44

Beck's Blue alcohol free beer in a glass so they can't see the label.

sagasleathertrousers Thu 09-Aug-18 07:21:15

As someone who followed the drink til it's pink mantra I would probably drink usually. But I think if I had had fertility treatment I would naturally be much more cautious like the op. Just carry a glass of wine about and maybe take a few sips. After everyone else has had a few drinks they will not notice at all.

Fatted Thu 09-Aug-18 07:25:41

Tell people you have the shits. It will shut them up and send them scurrying away to end the conversation.

WilburIsSomePig Thu 09-Aug-18 07:26:06

Agree with PP Becks Blue in a glass!

donkeysandzebras Thu 09-Aug-18 07:30:11

Have you had other parties recently? If so, can you say that you don't remember any of X's party as you drank so much, want to remember yours and had a couple before you got to the venue? What are your plans the next day? Also refer to them and not wanting to spoil them with a hangover.

AvoidingDM Thu 09-Aug-18 07:35:17

I think one or two isn't going to matter a jot. My friend fell pregnant just after a boozy weekend she expressed her concern to the midwife who rightly said more babies are conceived after a few vodkas than there are after a few herbal teas!

NWQM Thu 09-Aug-18 07:44:54

Buy a bottle of non alcoholic fizz and get your hubby to give you for your birthday an over the top ‘look whose 30’ style champagne glass which is obviously yours. You don’t even have to actually drink the fizz if you don’t want it but just be able to say ‘I’m grand thank you though’ when offered a drink. Fizz at a party might not be your usual style but you are only 30 once, aren’t are! If you do fancy a soft drink when someone asks it wouldn’t be out of the norm. Tactic worked for me. Just ask my wedding guests quite a few will tell you it was lovely to see me knocking back the fizz, relaxed and tipsey...:.the rest is our secret 😉

Stephisaur Thu 09-Aug-18 08:39:26

I had quite a few G&Ts between conception and test day. Pleased to tell you that baby is all good at 21 weeks!

Even if you ARE pregnant at your party, the tiny little poppy seed will be nourishing themselves from the yolk sac. You wouldn't have a placenta until much later, so it shouldn't affect the baby in any way.

Enjoy your 30th!

Verbena87 Thu 09-Aug-18 08:45:24

I was newly pregnant from IVF at my 30th and just told people, but it was a small gathering of people who knew about our treatment and whose support we’d have wanted in the event of a miscarriage anyway. Up to you how to handle it, but it was a relief not having to pretend.

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