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Where do you go if you need to 'vent'?

(12 Posts)
florenceswashingmachine Tue 07-Aug-18 19:14:03

Is it better to keep it to yourself?

I'm having a spectacularly difficult summer. Two relatives have died, one very suddenly (one less so and much much older). My mum has been unwell and took an overdose a fortnight ago (accidental apparently). Trying to somehow fix all her stuff. Caring for grieving relative too. My dad has been made redundant which shouldn't affect me but does financially (as he supports me through uni)... I haven't been well with two assumed bad UTIs, but I think it's stress. I also came out as a lesbian a fortnight ago... I'm also waiting in blood tests to determine if I have PCOS. Also coming off long term codeine as I felt I was addicted.

I am fucking exhausted, I have had depression/anxiety for a long time but have lost all my oomph, gained weight and I just feel completely dropped, stuck and unhappy. Not bothering to dress some days just wearing pyjamas. Nothing seems worth doing. Not even a walk round the block most days. The couch is getting an arse shaped imprint.

I don't know what the hell to do. I have tried to talk to a relative but she is facing her own difficulties . I don't really have any particularly close friends. I feel very alone . The GP asked me last week if she could help but I said I doubt it, as none of it's fixable. Where do I turn? I feel sometimes it is easiest kept in my head but I'm not so sure.

Melkim40 Tue 07-Aug-18 19:22:59

Oh sweetie! What a shit time you are having! I am not surprised you are exhausted.
Coming on here to vent is always good as you are pretty much anonymous and there is a wealth of advice and info available!
Make sure you take time for yourself. Have a bath, go for a walk, indulge in your favourite junk food and most importantly get some rest.
Tackle one thing at time, rather than trying to everything at once. My favourite quote at the moment is 'At the end of the day, tell yourself, you did the best you could today and that is enough.'
flowers

TurquoiseButterfly19 Tue 07-Aug-18 20:34:55

I put my trainers on and find a mountain to run.

Loyaultemelie Thu 09-Aug-18 23:09:28

Sorry you are having such a shit time thanksI used to write it all down but now dd1 can read that isn't an option so nowhere. Some of it I will vent here but not all, I know there was a family member on here although we both namechanged and I don't want it out there. As for rl there's no one I seem to be everyone else's listener but no one reciprocates

Viewofhedges Thu 09-Aug-18 23:23:19

To be honest with that run of events you sound like you need a friend you can cackle with. Someone who won't try and fix it for you but with whom you can just acknowledge that it's tough, feel supported, and then talk about something daft. I have had a run of shit events too recently and sat with a friend last night - didn't talk about much of it but we did talk about other things and the distraction was great.

You are coping with a huge amount. You must give yourself permission to be in survival mode, to do your best but to be kind to yourself if no one else is. Ask yourself what you'd say to a friend in your position, and give yourself the same amount of slack.

And remember: this too shall pass....

florenceswashingmachine Sat 11-Aug-18 16:51:46

I do, desperately, I need someone to look after me even for a few hours, listen to me and tell me I'm doing my best. I met a very nice psychiatric nurse when my mum took her overdose, she was lovely. I went out last night to the cinema but my mum was very worried/concerned at me going out after dark and said in future I should only go out in daylight hours... I'm 27. I live two hours away for uni and frequently leave the house in pitch black for placement.

I feel I'm a crap daughter but I want a life and right now I feel like I'm living someone else's.

florenceswashingmachine Sun 12-Aug-18 01:13:43

Waiting on a CPN phoning now. Seem to be stuck in a cycle of panic attack, calm for an hour, panic attack, calm... hell. NHS 24 said might be able to get diazepam or something from an out of hours GP as haven't slept right for days.

florenceswashingmachine Sun 12-Aug-18 04:17:30

GP phoned and said nothing anyone can do unless I'm actively harming myself. No intention of doing that. Will try and walk tomorrow and see if that helps at all. I just feel completely obwrhwlemed. An NHS 24 nurse spoke to me a couple of nights ago and said I sound exhausted. But even if I sleep 12 hours I still wake up shattered.

Melkim40 Sun 12-Aug-18 13:09:22

Mental exhaustion can't be cured with sleep. You Will get through this, slowly and surely. You are going through a shitty time and coping with so much, but although you probably don't feel like it, you are coping, getting out of bed each day when you probably don't want is coping!

florenceswashingmachine Sun 12-Aug-18 22:12:36

Thank you flowers

I get up but I just flop on the sofa. Even doing dishes exhausts me totally. I'm completely drained :-(

Spoke to breathing space nurse earlier who was kind and said it will get easier again. Thought maybe I have a nasty virus too given how strongly has come on and how quickly.

looondonn Sun 12-Aug-18 22:15:36

Keep posting here
Lots of great advice from some great people on here

Exercise def helps
Don't be too hard on your self that is a LOT to deal with sad

florenceswashingmachine Sun 12-Aug-18 23:10:54

It's so hard though :-( , I just feel totally alone and unwanted. I know that isn't true but its how it feels. I need a hug from someone and to be told I am valued, loved etc. You get messages on Facebook - I came out as gay a few weeks ago and I got lots of lovely messages, some 50 likes, but it feels meaningless as no-one contacts me.

The one friend I had has distanced herself... I speak to my aunty but she has enough problems and I feel I am a burden. Final friend I knew professionally and not a proper friendship really - but I miss her 24/7 .. Feels like hell on earth just now and I can't work out why that is.

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