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Sons friend coming on holiday with us

(213 Posts)
cleanerupper Sun 05-Aug-18 09:56:15

Oh my I need advice!! Our sons friend is coming on holiday with us. Thing is, how on earth do we split the bills??? They are both 17. My son has a part time job whilst at college and his friend is in an apprenticeship job. When we go out for evening meals, breakfast, whatever, how would you split the bill?? We don't want to be bank rolling them both. We only have a set amount of spending money. Obviously we drink more alcohol than them but a soft drink isn't that much cheaper when in Europe!! My head is spinning!!! X

BadderWolf Sun 05-Aug-18 09:58:41

This is the conversation that you need to have with them both prior to agreeing to go on holiday together.

Jinglebells99 Sun 05-Aug-18 10:01:09

It doesn’t sound as if either of them has much money. How did the holiday invite come about? If they were going alone you’d expect them to pay for themselves but when my teens (19 and 16) come on holiday with us we pay for everything. We tend to go half board anyway.

namechangedtoday15 Sun 05-Aug-18 10:04:32

I'd expect you to have sorted that out before the invitation was given (and accepted). As the parent of the guest I'd make sure he had enough money to cover his own meals and drinks but on the other hand, as the inviting parent, I'd have assumed that i'd be paying for everyone when we went out for dinner / got drinks together.

Ginorchoc Sun 05-Aug-18 10:04:33

Can you do a meal kitty, they agree to contribute a set amount. I’d probably be ok topping it up myself due to their wage levels but they are also contributing to meal.

dancingthroughthedark Sun 05-Aug-18 10:07:05

I think it really odd that you expect your son who is still at college to pay for himself. As for his friend, who suggested he come along? This is something you really should have sorted at the time of invitation not now.

cleanerupper Sun 05-Aug-18 10:08:08

We were thinking about us paying 75% and they split the 25% between them. As he is 17 coming away with his parents by himself didn't seem appealing anymore, therefore we asked if he wanted to bring a friend. I know they've not got much money that's why we thought about the 75/25 split.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 05-Aug-18 10:10:39

Why not talk to them about it?

You’ll get as many different opinions on replies on here.

SuburbanRhonda Sun 05-Aug-18 10:10:58

* as replies

namechangedtoday15 Sun 05-Aug-18 10:12:15

Honestly you need to have a conversation with his parents particularly if money is an issue. They may have assumed (as quite a lot of people would when you invite someone on your family holiday) that you're paying for everything other than spends / going out money.

3boys3dogshelp Sun 05-Aug-18 10:12:52

I think if I invited a 17 year old away I would be expecting to pay for them. If they offered a contribution I might take some money, but I wouldn’t expect anything. You’ve said you wanted your son to come and you asked him to invite his friend so he would come so it’s possible they’ve agreed to keep you happy rather than really wanting to go.

imnottoofussed Sun 05-Aug-18 10:13:21

I'd be expecting to pay 100% of the bills in this scenario. Your son is only 17 so you should be paying for him anyway and you invited him to bring a friend so I would expect you to be paying. The other parent might send him with some money but might not.

OrchidInTheSun Sun 05-Aug-18 10:13:56

The etiquette is that if you invite someone, you pay for them.

WhirlwindHugs Sun 05-Aug-18 10:14:13

The friend and his family probably have no idea you expect them to pay - you can't suddenly spring this on them!

A teen with a part time job and an apprentice are very unlikely to have enough cash to unexpectedly pay for lots of meals out :s

It's never okay to invite someone somewhere wait for them to say yes and then say BTW it will cost £xx

cleanerupper Sun 05-Aug-18 10:14:17

Sorry... I forgot to say we've paid for the holiday for everyone, it's just the out and about spending I'm asking about. His friend has been paid for x

RapunzelsRealMom Sun 05-Aug-18 10:14:37

At 17, he's still a kid. Why not speak to the parents about his contribution for meals etc and sort it out before you go. That was, there's no faffing about in restaurants having to work out half of a quarter of....

To be honest, if you invite your kids friend on your family holiday, I think it's a bit crap to go Dutch. You're paying for company for your own kid - your choice.

WhirlwindHugs Sun 05-Aug-18 10:15:59

Spending money for himself yes he should bring. Not meals.

Sofabitch Sun 05-Aug-18 10:16:44

I'd expect you to be paying for food.

NewIdeasToday Sun 05-Aug-18 10:17:16

There’s no way you should charge your son anything. He’s part of the family. Your son’s friend could possibly be asked to make a token contribution. But as others have said this should have been agreed up front when he was invited.

forgivenminds Sun 05-Aug-18 10:18:10

If money is tight can you self cater If you have the facilities ? Go to Lidl or somewhere and buy food and your ds and friend contribution can be to cook a few nights and then just eat out a few times

VickieCherry Sun 05-Aug-18 10:18:24

If you invite him you pay - certainly board and food, and probably any excursions/travel too. At 17 he's not going to be earning much.

allthegoodusernameshavegone Sun 05-Aug-18 10:18:51

I would have left the 17 yo at home

Tinseltower Sun 05-Aug-18 10:19:12

I’d expect you to pay for all the meals out and drinks. The 17 year olds just pay if they do something alone.

Branleuse Sun 05-Aug-18 10:19:59

If you invited him, you pay. You should have thought of the not wanting to bankroll him before inviting him.

I would however appreciate a token amount towards food from his parents and for him to bring his own spends

frenchfancy Sun 05-Aug-18 10:20:47

We are in this situation on the other side. DD2 (17) has been invited on a family holiday with her friend. No talk of money has been had. How much should I offer them for food? They are camping but I have no idea if they will be eating out a lot.

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