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My DH has secretly taken a candle into our bathroom

(186 Posts)
AllMimsey Fri 20-Jul-18 12:54:13

And I'm confused. We're abroad at the moment at our house in Italy so it's not anything to do with new spaces. It's literally a candle on the shelf, partially hidden.

And the other day he was rummaging through drawers and I asked what he was looking for. After a moment or two, his reply was "Nothing of any importance." I took him at his word.

THEN my dd came out of the bathroom and whispered to me that there was a candle and matches in there on the shelf!

What's he doing?? Candlelit showers by himself?! He doesn't take showers and is never in there for longer than ten mins.

I've mentioned the candle to him casually and I just got a "Mmmm" so he doesn't want to tell me.

Ideas please from the wisdom of MN smile

gamerchick Fri 20-Jul-18 12:55:25

Mask the smell of poo?

PickleSarnie Fri 20-Jul-18 12:55:26

To get rid of poo smells?

gamerchick Fri 20-Jul-18 12:55:48

Fetish for hot wax on the nipples?

Hospitaldramafamily Fri 20-Jul-18 12:56:08

To cover up any residual smells after he's used the bathroom?

To seduce you by candlelight? To run you a bath with candles or have one himself?

DieAntword Fri 20-Jul-18 12:56:21

Perhaps he's performing voodoo rituals in there, I wouldn't ask too many questions.

SneakyGremlins Fri 20-Jul-18 12:57:14

Have any local sheep or goats gone missing?

MrsJayy Fri 20-Jul-18 12:58:45

I was going to say to hide poo smellsbut not edging towards gamerchick reply grin

Member Fri 20-Jul-18 13:00:25

To take candlelit selfies of himself ?

9amTrain Fri 20-Jul-18 13:01:51

To quell the malignancy of his rancid shits?

ProustianMadeleine Fri 20-Jul-18 13:01:54

He took a candle and matches into the bathroom?!?! Fuck me the world must be ending hmm

Jammiebammie Fri 20-Jul-18 13:04:01

Either masking poo smells, romancing you or shoving it up his arse, one extreme or the other I guess....

fairiedemon Fri 20-Jul-18 13:04:21

Secret smoker?

9amTrain Fri 20-Jul-18 13:05:08

Are candlelit showers a thing? If he doesn't have showers then he must have baths? So candlelit baths?

Or as I said ... His shit.

TheGreatCornholio Fri 20-Jul-18 13:05:36

Better log it with 101, and something about ducks?

Luglio Fri 20-Jul-18 13:06:24

Singeing a duck, after he’s plucked it?

SimonBridges Fri 20-Jul-18 13:06:52

Never in the bathroom for longer than ten minutes? Are you sure he’s a man? I thought all men had to take twenty minute shits before undertaking any task.

I think the candle is for smells.

Slartybartfast Fri 20-Jul-18 13:08:06

smoking?
have a poo?

9amTrain Fri 20-Jul-18 13:09:44

@SimonBridges I don't! I curl one out in about a minute and a half and I'm done! I get bored sitting on the toilet.

adaline Fri 20-Jul-18 13:15:49

Smoking? Strong smell of poo? Or maybe he just finds candles relaxing a la Chandler from friends!

RoadToRivendell Fri 20-Jul-18 13:15:51

Is he a candle sort of fella? I'd be worried about my husband if I found him with a candle, I'd think he'd been reprogrammed.

CaoNiMa Fri 20-Jul-18 13:18:59

LTB.

OrgyOfBarminess Fri 20-Jul-18 13:19:22

Maybe he's having some 'me time' poor lad can't even have a shit in piece without twenty questions

ElementalHalfLife Fri 20-Jul-18 13:22:40

My DH always takes* our youngest cat with him to the bathroom and blames him for any lingering smells. I have my doubts about the veracity of that claim and I'd be frankly delighted if he took a scented candle instead.

I say *'takes but it's more youngest cat seems to think DH is his mom and follows him everywhere.

speakout Fri 20-Jul-18 13:24:23

Masurbation?
Witchcraft?
Romantic atmosphere?

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