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Feeling frightened and crap

(63 Posts)
Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:06:31

I’m not sure how to even explain what’s going on other than I’m bloody well struggling and I just don’t know what to do anymore. Just for info I’m 26 year old female. Don’t smoke don’t drink.

3 weeks ago I started having the most intense lower abdo and flank pains. Saw GP, tested urine, clear, home with painkillers x 4. Then GP decided there’s lots of protein in Urine, course of antibiotics given, pain gone, happy days.

5 days after finishing antibiotics, pain returns. Not half as bad. More niggly, uncomfortable and annoying. Mostly in flank, a bit in upper abdo and shooting into lower abdo a bit. Return to GP, Urine clear. Sent for culture, nothing. Bloods taken, all completely fine. Given same antibiotics as before as they eased it. They’ve done sweet fa.

Went to OOH Saturday as still in pain almost constantly. He suggested maybe kidney stone. Referred to hospital for scan. Dr at hospital decides not kidney stone. No scan. Sent home with instructions to come back if pain worsens. Urine tested, still crystal clear.

Sunday, pain worsens, I phone, they say come back. Different dr this time thinks could be kidney stones. Wants to refer to CT scan. Says appointment will come through post for a few weeks time. I’m terrified at this point that it’s something sinister. Also told me to take urine to GP and have another culture, so I have. Pain still there.

Monday (yesterday) took culture to GP. Nurse phoned a while later just to clarify what’s going on. Explained. Told her I didn’t think anything would grow in culture as it’s been done previously and there wasn’t even so much as a cell. She said actually I’ve dipped it and there’s blood and protein. So now I’m massively panicking that it’s something really serious. Maybe an infection that just isn’t responding to anything. Maybe the C word. Maybe it isn’t anything and this pain is just my new norm.

I have 2 children (4 and 8 months) and since this has been going on I feel like the crappiest parent. It’s just going on and on and I’m terrified, I’m exhausted and I feel like I just can’t anymore.

I know there’s people so much worse off than I am but at the minute I’m just feeling so bloody CRAP. I’m waking in the night having panic attacks, I’m snappy with the kids, with my partner (who’s working away at the minute). I just think that I’m really not coping with this at all. I feel trapped and I just can’t see how this is going to get better, I’m really feeling let down that nobody wants to help find out what’s wrong.

I have an ultrasound booked for Monday and I’m terrified what might show up. Or that nothing will show up and then I’m just as in the dark as I am now.

I’m not really sure what I’m hoping to gain from this post just that I’m terrified and I just want my normal boring life back.

JessyJames Tue 17-Jul-18 08:16:26

Blood and protein in your urine are generally a sign of an infection. Perhaps you haven't had the correct antibiotics for the specific bug causing the infection?
I would drink more water and try not to panic.
You need another mid stream sample sent off to see what's going on.

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 08:22:54

OP you sound like you have a semi-antibiotic resistant kidney infection. The trouble is, kidney infections are really tough to kill off. I know as I’ve had a few. On one occasion I had to have IV antibiotics in hospital but all the other times it’s just been a case of massively strong oral ones at home. I suspect in the first instance your GP treated it with something that wasn’t quite strong enough and now it’s resistant; you just need a different, strong, antibiotic to kill it off. If you have UTIs that then persist they may put you on a low dose antibiotic for a period of time (6 months in my case) to make sure any lurking bugs are well and truly dead.

The pain of a kidney infection is hideous but please try not to panic. This sounds very manageable with a little more medical intervention.

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 08:25:00

Ps - don’t worry about the ultrasound. I have had several of these. They just want to establish if there is anything in your pipework that is unusual (I have a kink in my tubes which means It’s hard for me to fully empty my bladder which is why I am prone to infection). They will probably also check for stones. There may be nothing causing the infection anatomically but it is important they check.

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:29:54

The most recent Urine was yesterday, which has been sent off to lab so probably available results tomorrow.

I was given a 3 day course of trimethoprim at the hospital on Sunday. So been taking for just over 24 hours now. Previous to that was cephalexin

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:30:39

Is there any reason the urine would be repeatedly clear over a few days if it was a persistent infection?

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 08:39:46

It can be that the infection isn’t strong enough to be defected from a dip but will grow in the lab. I have had cases where I feel a UTI coming on, because I know what they’re like, and the dip is clear apart from a very few white blood cells. Fortunately, because I know my GP really well, and they know my history, they will give me antibiotics at this stage, but most people would have to wait 24 / 48 hours for there to be more markers. In my case that would result in the infection passing to my kidneys so they like to jump on it early with me.

Both the antibiotics they have given you are common for UTI / kidney issues, although cephalexin is rarely a first line anymore. If the Triamithorprim fails, or the lab show it is resistant to it, they will probably try co-amoxiclav. That usually sorts it for me. Alternatively, if the Triamithaprim is working they may simply extend the course if you are still suffering symptoms. Three days seems a pretty conservative dose to me so if you still don’t feel well then you need to get straight back to the GP tomorrow and either get more or something different, depending on what the lab shows. The trouble with kidney infections is, as you’ve experienced, if you give them an inch they come running back a mile a minute.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. They are such horrible things. If you can, try and get some help with your DC. You must be feeling shattered as well as in pain. flowers

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 08:40:07

*detected

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:45:01

I'm shattered and so frightened. I've seen 10 different Doctors and nobody seems to be able to help me.

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 08:51:18

@ohb0llocks I really feel for you. It’s such a horrible thing.

When I had my first infection I had x-rays, scans, I was admitted straight through a&e having never been to hospital before and having only been to my GP for extra pain killers as I couldn’t take it anymore. I had no idea what was wrong with me.

I appreciate it is so easy to say but please try not to worry. Even now, when I know what it is, I find that hard because I feel so ill. But I do always get better. I hope that sharing my experience will help a little. I also think it would help you to have a friend / relative round so you can let off some steam and have a good cry. Sometimes it’s the only thing that helps. Do you have anyone who can support you?

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:53:09

I'm scared it's going to turn into sepsis.

I just feel like I can't deal with anymore crap. I have severe anxiety as it is and it's just in overdrive. I just want to run away.

I have my mum close by and dp is due back either later today or tomorrow but I can't see how I'm going to cope until then.

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 08:53:31

I can't be admitted, baby DS is breastfed I don't want to lose that

Slatternsdelight Tue 17-Jul-18 09:01:30

Could be gallstones-bloody painful
Will show up on an US if it is that

It's possible the pain, and the blood plus protein in your urine are in fact unrelated

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 09:09:11

It's not that the pain is bad at the minute, it's just relentless every single day

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 09:55:50

@ohb0llocks I mean this kindly. You need some help. Please call your mum and ask her to come and help you until your DP gets home.

Anxiety is horrible. I have recently had an episode myself which I have had amazing help with from mumsnet so I fully sympathise.

At the moment there is no reason to suppose that you would be admitted or that it would become sepsis. However, you clearly need some support managing these concerns. Do you have some techniques you could employ to try and control it?

If you feel yourself becoming more unwell then do call your GP.

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 10:04:32

Mums coming at 1pm

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 10:05:11

I don't really have any techniques usually I can ignore it but this has been going on that long and I can actually physically feel some pain and symptoms it's hard to ignore

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 10:27:06

@ohb0llovks I’m really glad you’ve got your mum coming. I think you need some space to sleep / cry / get some fresh air.

I’m sorry if I sounded harsh, I just think you need some support.

In terms of anxiety, I know how awful it feels when you’re in pain and frightened, especially if it goes on for a long time as it wears you down. I am so sorry you’re going through this.

If you feel the anxiety escalating them you could try the 5,4,3,2,1 method, but if it’s escalating because of the pain then I would advise contacting your GP. If the triamithoprim isn’t working you need to change your medication.

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 10:40:04

It's not that the pain is worse it's just that it's still there.

I'm feeling a bit like 'for fuck sake why isn't anyone helping me'

Just phoned GP, Urine culture not back yet.

I just can't understand why one minute it's clear and then the next it's not even though the pain has been pretty much constant

MisstoMrs Tue 17-Jul-18 11:09:59

That is really tough @ohb0llocks

The trouble is dipped cultures are not totally reliable; they’re actually pretty crude measures.

I’m sure once the culture is back your GP will be able to help you, and the ultrasound will give them some useful extra information. Constant pain is horrible. I know it’s tough but try and make sure you’re drinking plenty of water as that genuinely will help, keep on top of your pain killers, and try and distract yourself. None of those things will solve it but they will help while you wait for the culture to come back flowers

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 11:16:37

My worry is that it is an infection and it's just being left to get worse whilst everyone's playing the waiting game

TheSerenDipitY Tue 17-Jul-18 11:18:06

i know you know this but
You need to calm down, do some breathing exercises, in thru the nose hold for a count of ten and then slowly out thru the mouth, until you feel your self calming down
get some nice cold water and start drinking as that can help flush the kidneys out as well ( and stop you getting dehydrated which will make you feel more ill and more anxious)
They can only help you as fast as they can, if they have to wait for a culture to be able to treat you getting worked up isnt helping, you have kids with you so focus on them and stay busy, set a time of when you will call the doctors and dont call again until then ( or the receptionist is going to get annoyed with you) and as you are feeding, if you are in pain, drink more and maybe rest with a heat pack of some kind at your lower back area
In thru the nose hold for a count of 10 and slowly out thru the mouth
You will get thru this, stay strong

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 11:58:34

Every time I try and be calm I feel a little twinge again. I honestly feel like his has been dragging on that long I'm never going to get my life back.

It's so frustrating and I appreciate they can only go as fast as they go but what if the culture is clear, the scans are clear and I'm just in a pain limbo.

Ohb0llocks Tue 17-Jul-18 12:18:05

Just taken DS1 to Nursery. Feeding DS2 to sleep now.

They deserve so much better than the mess I'm in at the minute.

TheSerenDipitY Tue 17-Jul-18 13:07:34

if they are clear then it is something else and they will keep investigating and you know getting yourself in a state with worry wont make it happen any faster or do you and the children any good, keep drinking water and doing breathing exercises when ever you start to get a bit worked up, use a heat pack for the pain and keep taking your antibiotics and call closer to the end of the day to see if the results are back, hopefully they are but can take a day or two sometimes,
Have you a partner? sorry i didnt see if you do, or is there someone that can come and give you a break for a few hours so you can rest? or have a nice hot shower to settle yourself down?

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