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Threads started in this topic after 9th November 2018 will no longer be removed after 90 days. A new topic called 90 Days Only can be found in the Other Stuff category of Talk.

Feeling upset

(53 Posts)
dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:13:29

Going to my dils babyshower on Friday.I asked could i bring some family.She said no problem.

No i have found out from my son, i put her on the spot.
He wasnt very nice about it.Basically saying i shouldn't have asked them.

I said to him she should have told me it wasnt ok.When i asked her.
I thought we got on ok.

MyKingdomForBrie Wed 11-Jul-18 23:15:00

She could hardly say no could she?! Very rude to invite 'some family' to someone else's event.

Fwend Wed 11-Jul-18 23:16:48

You can still get on ok, just take it on the chin, accept that it wasn't a good time to ask, and graciously move on. Her event, however awful baby showers are her guest list.

Don't turn it into a bigger drama than it needs to be.

AmazingPostVoices Wed 11-Jul-18 23:17:36

Who did you want to bring? It seems odd that close female members of your DS’s family wouldn’t be invited anyway.

However if your DS says no, then you have to accept no.

Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown Wed 11-Jul-18 23:17:46

@dustarr73 what family were you inviting? Your other children (so baby's aunties) ) or your cousins, own aunties, nieces etc?

sonlypuppyfat Wed 11-Jul-18 23:19:38

Surely it's something for her and her friends

dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:21:13

No kids but my sils.Theres 3 of them.
I realky thought we had a good relationship and she could have told me no.
I wouldnt have been upset.

I literally have no family of my own who i could have asked.

SomeKnobend Wed 11-Jul-18 23:22:27

You can't respond to any invitation, ever, by requesting to bring someone else. It's just really rude! Why would you think that was OK? If they wanted them there, they'd have invited them. If they don't, you make it very awkward to say so when you directly ask for an invite on their behalf. Just accept you were wrong to ask and move on.

ichifanny Wed 11-Jul-18 23:23:40

Sorry no it is cheeky to just invite people when it wasn’t your event I’d assume if she wanted then there she would have invited them .

Littleredboat Wed 11-Jul-18 23:23:45

Why would you want to bring them?

SomeKnobend Wed 11-Jul-18 23:24:14

X-posted
Why on earth did you think she would want your SILs there? Or did you only think about what you would like?

Atalune Wed 11-Jul-18 23:25:06

Why on earth would you ask to bring them! That’s very odd.

YABU

dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:26:35

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Feeling upset8
Today 23:13 dustarr73

Going to my dils babyshower on Friday.I asked could i bring some family.She said no problem.

No i have found out from my son, i put her on the spot.
He wasnt very nice about it.Basically saying i shouldn't have asked them.

I said to him she should have told me it wasnt ok.When i asked her.
I thought we got on ok.

Today 23:15 MyKingdomForBrie

She could hardly say no could she?! Very rude to invite 'some family' to someone else's event.

Today 23:16 Fwend

You can still get on ok, just take it on the chin, accept that it wasn't a good time to ask, and graciously move on. Her event, however awful baby showers are her guest list.

Don't turn it into a bigger drama than it needs to be.

Today 23:17 AmazingPostVoices

Who did you want to bring? It seems odd that close female members of your DS’s family wouldn’t be invited anyway.

However if your DS says no, then you have to accept no.

Today 23:17 Dontletthebastardsgrindyoudown

@dustarr73 what family were you inviting? Your other children (so baby's aunties) ) or your cousins, own aunties, nieces etc?

Today 23:19 sonlypuppyfat

Surely it's something relationship and she could have told me no.
I wouldnt have been upset.

You can't respond to any invitation, ever, by requesting to bring someone else. It's just really rude
Dil made it out like it was more the merrier.And ok i realise its rude.But i would have rather she said no outright.No i feel awkward about it.

LanguidLobster Wed 11-Jul-18 23:28:06

Just apologise to her, say no offense meant, enjoy the shower and move on

dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:28:55

Why would you want to bring them?
Cause they are my sons aunties.Thought it would be a nice way for people to meet.

And to be fair, its not like i sprung them on her. I asked, she could have said no.

gekiort Wed 11-Jul-18 23:30:33

OMG you are the CF hmm

Why on earth would you ask to bring your family to someone's baby shower confused

Poisongirl81 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:31:01

she's never met them? I do think yabu sorry and quite rude....it's her day

scrivette Wed 11-Jul-18 23:31:41

Even if I didn't want them to an event I was hosting I would have found it difficult to say no when put on the spot like that.

It doesn't have to be awkward, just say you got very enthusiastic about sharing her special day and not to worry about inviting them.

dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:32:04

Why on earth would you ask to bring your family to someone's baby shower confused

Because i made a mistake.
And im as far away as a cf that you can get.

AnotherDayAnotherName745 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:33:59

You have asked what people think, and everyone has said you shouldn't ask to bring assorted people when you're invited somewhere. But you think it was ok, and a good idea - so why did you ask?
If you'd like her to meet other people in the family, host an event yourself and invite them all, or I vote everyone out for a meal for your birthday - that's the appropriate way to do it!

LanguidLobster Wed 11-Jul-18 23:34:40

It'll be easily smoothed over, say to her you got the wrong impression about invites but you're really looking forward to it.

There's no point falling out over it, it's all about the new baby

blueskypink Wed 11-Jul-18 23:36:14

I literally have no family of my own who i could have asked.

But why should you ask anyone to someone else's party? confused

Never experienced a baby shower but if I'd had one when I was pregnant I'd have been livid if mil had invited any of her relatives along.

dustarr73 Wed 11-Jul-18 23:36:51

Ye i know.Just the way it was said to me earlier.
I will put a smile on my face and enjoy Friday

LanguidLobster Wed 11-Jul-18 23:40:03

Good smile

HughLauriesStubble Wed 11-Jul-18 23:43:36

I dunno, I find it hard to get worked up by what the op has done. The people she wanted to ask are the baby's future great-aunts. Unless there's some history with the aunts that we don't know about?

Are baby showers really only inclusive of the mum-to-bes friends and family? Seems a bit unfair.

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