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Gross things you've seen on the train...

(87 Posts)
SandWitch Wed 20-Jun-18 16:03:50

Sitting on the train and trying to keep my composure as a woman is squeezing her boyfriend's spot on his neck whilst he films it!?!

I'm trying to think of anything less appropriate to do on the train but I'm struggling.

Amuse me with your other train horror stories please...

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Wed 20-Jun-18 16:08:27

*Weird but OK ending..
Travelling to Scotland to see bf as a 20 something I sat in seats across from a young man holding a case.
He kept glancing over but when I smiled he just ignored me until I looked away then he looked back. I sat looking out the window and forgot about him tbh.
As I got off I saw he had been sketching me!!
Def a bog standard looking girl but I was seriously chuffed!
He was really good too!!

AlonsoTigerHeart Wed 20-Jun-18 16:11:23

Basingstoke to Reading. Posh 50ish woman dressed expensively did the thing where you hold a nostril closed and flob snot out the other on to the train floor.

fantasmasgoria1 Wed 20-Jun-18 16:13:22

Few years back sat down then a young man sat next to me. He proceeded to watch porn in his phone with the sound on!

SandWitch Wed 20-Jun-18 16:14:32

It's not helped by my eating blueberries at the moment envy
They've stopped for the moment whilst she does her makeup!

It's like people picking their nose in the car - we can see you!

FartTransplant Wed 20-Jun-18 16:16:52

Last train home on a Saturday night someone quietly puking in the gap between the 2 seats they were sitting on. Same train someone peeing out the door when the train stopped at my stop. It's a fun train home that one confused at leased the police didn't get on it to haul someone off for fighting that time though 🙂

eyycarumba Wed 20-Jun-18 16:19:14

Saw a man picking his nose and playing with it, he kept noticing me watching then would hide it in his pocket or sock(?!) then start again a minute later. Then ate it.

OliviaStabler Wed 20-Jun-18 16:19:22

Group of male friends travelling to London to party. Pissed out of their heads well before we even approach London. You could smell the drink on them half a carriage away. All acting like drunk loons.

BubblesInTheTub Wed 20-Jun-18 16:22:13

A drunk man half-asleep in the aisle of the train with no trousers on. The flies of his boxers were gaping open and his dick was poking out.
That was bad enough.
Then he started puking what I can only describe as "kebab soup".
That was horrendous but just as I stood up to leave the carriage he began shitting pure brown liquid out of the other end.

I fucking hate men

AromaticSpices Wed 20-Jun-18 16:23:04

I saw a clip on instagram of a woman shaving her legs on the train, with a can of shaving foam and a tissue to wipe the razor on.

confused envy < not envy but YUCK

AromaticSpices Wed 20-Jun-18 16:24:19

oh my god BubblesInTheTub that is actually revolting

buttyblahblah Wed 20-Jun-18 16:25:38

Man puking. He just casually moved seats. It was on the drunk train home though.

Pretty sure I sat in stale urine on the way home from work once. It stank.

BubblesInTheTub Wed 20-Jun-18 16:27:19

Yep, I felt awful for the people who had to clean that up. I actually emailed the train company about it, not sure what I was hoping to achieve with that! Stupid fucking cunty entitled men.

Takfujuimoto Wed 20-Jun-18 16:31:09

🤢 Dear God Bubbles

No dinner for me tonight.

halfwitpicker Wed 20-Jun-18 16:32:19

Clipping fingernails.

he had a girlfriend too

enoughbananas Wed 20-Jun-18 16:34:47

I used to travel by train every working day. This has made me very wary of who I sit within puke splashing distance of, and very alert to the signs of a possible puker. My worst train puke stories are:
1. Middle aged man on a train at about 6pm who walked down the train looking around as if trying to find a seat. Towards the end of the carriage he projectile vomited what smelled and looked like cider and black all over 3 people sitting facing in to the carriage. They then had to sit in puke covered clothing for the rest of the journey. Another passenger passed them some babywipes but not sure how much that helped.
2. Woman who took the last seat on the train, by the window and opposite me. Speaking on her phone and sounding drunk for most of the journey. After previous puke experiences I considered moving but didn't want to be obvious and thought it would be fine. Not far from my stop she bent down as if looking for something in her bag and puked all over my foot. Made worse by the fact I was wearing sandals. She wiped her mouth on her bag and muttered something along the lines of 'it's OK, I'm pregnant'

SandWitch Wed 20-Jun-18 16:43:29

Dear Lord. Some of these are really bad.
So pleased that most days I don't have to commute by train.

Do remember sitting on a bus once and someone directly behind me opening a can of beer which sprayed all over my back and hair. Very pleased to have been traveling home from work rather than making my way in.

Talking of drunken behaviour though - train has just left Ascot - rather a lot of well dressed drunkards surrounding me now.

I'm on the look out for those who pose a vomit risk!

tobee Wed 20-Jun-18 16:49:32

Middle of the day. Guy with hand over his eyes. Cream suit on. Man spreading. Erection constantly twitching about in his trousers. I got off at the next stop.

Crunchymum Wed 20-Jun-18 16:51:42

As an emetophobe, I really shouldn't read these kind of threads sad

MabelFurball Wed 20-Jun-18 16:53:07

Are they coming back already? There were still sober ones at Waterloo at mid day. At the moment nothing too bad on the train I'm on apart from snotty bag next door who just rammed down the seat divider between us.

Zofanjo Wed 20-Jun-18 16:54:18

Ooooh I'm a commuter. Brace yourselves.

Man watching porn like it was a soap opera at 7:15 in the morning on a commuter train. Didn't have a wank which only made it weirder 2bh.

Woman wearing very low cut top eating a sandwich dropped some mayo on her boob so her boyfriend bent down and very sexually licked it off without missing a beat.

Bloke next to me when it was warm removed his t-shirt, pressing his sweaty body against me because the train was packed. I had 3 showers that day.

Again when it was warm on my evening train and it was packed and everyone was sweating buckets, a little old lady decided right then was the time to break out the pickled eels envy

Bloke sat in the quiet coach snoring so loud i couldnt hear my music through my headphones. Eventually he was moved.

Woman with 4 large dogs got on a massively busy train home, her dog shat in the vestibule. She then complained to the staff who refused to clean it up and brought her a bag and some anti-bac spray that they were unreasonable for not picking up after her dog confused

Bloke shat himself very obviously whilst standing, then sat down on a seat, leaving a massive brown stain envy

Guy sneezed on my neck

I could go on...

ScattyCharly Wed 20-Jun-18 16:55:01

Loads of commuters standing up. One vomits onto the back of the person stood in front!

A guy pissed in the train bin.

A man and woman used a row of seats as a bed to shag on!

I wash my clothes after using public transport.

Theshittyendofthestick Wed 20-Jun-18 16:57:08

Piers Morgan. Do I win? grin

HildaZelda Wed 20-Jun-18 16:59:10

Guy wearing flip flops who whipped out a nail clippers and started cutting his toenails.
After he'd finished, he put the clippers away and pulled out a packed lunch of egg sandwiches.

ScattyCharly Wed 20-Jun-18 17:00:04

Oh and I forgot the guy wanking on the tube. Standing up by doors but looking through the glass part into the carriage, imagining (?) that nobody could see his lower regions confused

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