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Dr made me feel awful!

(108 Posts)
purpleshimmer Mon 18-Jun-18 18:18:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LARLARLAND Mon 18-Jun-18 18:20:16

He was medically correct and didn’t mean it personally.

PotteringAlong Mon 18-Jun-18 18:21:06

How would you rather he said it?

CurbsideProphet Mon 18-Jun-18 18:26:13

Oh dear, surely he didn't need to word it like that! The comment about extra weight causing extra hormones would have been enough.

If it's any consolation I've seen lots of doctors who struggle with their bedside manner!

Whatsforu Mon 18-Jun-18 18:26:28

I see why you are upset. It's one thing to take your height and weight, calculate BMI then give you the result. Quite another just to look at you and be that blunt. There are ways of speaking to people in a professional manner. His skills were lacking.

Moominfan Mon 18-Jun-18 18:28:07

Not what you say but how you say it. That said, is there a nice way to tell someone that their over weight?

Moominfan Mon 18-Jun-18 18:28:37

And i say this as someone who could do with losing weight themselves, didn't mean that to sound catty

Userplusnumbers Mon 18-Jun-18 18:29:23

The problem with sugar coating that particular message, is that you come away thinking 'oh, it's not that big of an issue'

Caribbeanyesplease Mon 18-Jun-18 18:29:51

He sounds like a good straight speaking doctor.

He spoke factually. And you understandably don’t like the facts.

greenlynx Mon 18-Jun-18 18:30:34

It sounded ok for me.
my sister has high BMI and she would actually much prefer this way rather than going through exact figures.

Caribbeanyesplease Mon 18-Jun-18 18:33:13

He could well have used the word “obese”. He didn’t.

OP, try to focus on the facts of what he was saying rather than your emotional response

mayhew Mon 18-Jun-18 18:38:06

It is upsetting but extra fat on your body, especially on your tummy, really does mess up your hormones. This applies to men too.
This is one reason why fertility clinics try to get people into a normal BMI range. Many of them conceive spontaneously once they lose some weight.
Losing weight won't cure all hormonal problems but it has a definite positive effect.

It's a bit like advising an asthmatic not to smoke.

MaireadMacSweeney Mon 18-Jun-18 18:43:13

I don't know, I think doctors should develop the skill of getting their message across without being hurtful.

My doctor has several times referred to my 'deformed' feet. I am extremely self conscious about my hideous bunions and it took a lot of courage to show them to him.

Thanks doc hmm

MrsEricBana Mon 18-Jun-18 18:44:20

I'm sorry he upset you but honestly I think he was good and plain speaking and didn't sugar coat it. Don't eat the chocolate!

RebelRogue Mon 18-Jun-18 18:49:43

Would it really have made a difference if he took your measurements and then said your BMI is high?

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow Mon 18-Jun-18 18:50:58

To be fair, it will adversely affect your health and there is no sugar coating. I wish more GPs would just say it, particularly to parents

PurpleDaisies Mon 18-Jun-18 18:51:26

He wouldn’t have said it unless there was no doubt you’d come out as overweight or obese. I’m not sure that it was a particularly dreadful thing to say.

twiglet Mon 18-Jun-18 18:52:44

Losing weight will help but he could have provided more suggestions about ways to approach it.
I found doing sw to be great not a diet a healthy eating plan lost 3.5 stone back to a healthy bmi and now 8 weeks pregnant.

Whatsforu Mon 18-Jun-18 18:55:33

Yes it does make a difference the way it is put to a person.

snowsun Mon 18-Jun-18 18:56:50

Making something of the delivery is you trying to deflect the content so you don't need to face it.
Making a joke about having chocolate first before starting a healthier life style is you trying to minimise it.
This is said from someone who has been in your position.
Grab his advice with both hands and the results could be life changing.

Whatsforu Mon 18-Jun-18 19:01:30

I don't agree I would say that the majority of people who are overweight, drink or smoke too much know they are/ do. It might just be when the message is delivered in an empathic way that person will feel able to start to change.

FattyBonbon Mon 18-Jun-18 19:04:13

I say all the below as someone who is is struggling with my own weight (my BMI is higher than yours) and so post with some sympathy.

Your BMI isn't 'on the high side' - you are morbidly obese (it's 36 by your figures).

I'm sorry, but you're in denial if you think it isn't noticeable (my reading of your OP is that you're offended because it was noticed rather than measured). I would argue that the doctor should be commended for pointing it out, he could easily have ignored it for an easier life and not pointed out something that you can potentially moderate yourself.

greenlynx Mon 18-Jun-18 19:06:26

The other thing is actually worried me. Did he consider doing something else like tests, etc to find a reason for a irregular bleeding or he just gave you a talk about extra weight and hormones?
Because just having BMI on the high side definitely not enough to cause irregular bleeding. And I'm talking from experience.

ThrillitDontkillit Mon 18-Jun-18 19:09:37

Well OP, I can see why you didn't post in AIBU. I was offended the first time the Dr pointed out my weight in a similar situation, so I do understand your angle. However if your weight is contributing towards your health problems, IMO he could justifiably be a bit blunter than that l.

BillywilliamV Mon 18-Jun-18 19:11:01

and on the plus side its HIS fault you're eating the chocolate! You need to take some responsibility for your actions.

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