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Losing weight feels impossible

(42 Posts)
cantlosetheweight12 Thu 14-Jun-18 21:36:39

This time last year I was 15 stone 11, having been hovering around 18-19 for several years. Was a size 18 bottom and 16-18 top and felt confident, hoping to lose more and happy.

Since change of lifestyle, illness, changing contraceptive and developing depression, I'm now twenty stone. Size 22-24 bottom, 20-24 on top. I'm 5ft 9. I feel fucking massive and awful, you'd mistake me for pregnant as it all goes on my belly and back. It's having a profound effect as I'm struggling to turn in bed at times, I'm sleeping during the day, always very tired/SOB on simple things. Get a rash under my tummy, groins, boobs.

Under consultant care for pre existing issues and they want to do an ultrasound, as she believes I probably have PCOS even if no visible cysts. Very irregular periods, facial hair, acne, etc. She also wants me to have full bloods for thyroid, hormones etc.

Weight just keeps piling on. I am aware I eat crap and am scared to exercise. I hated sport and moving as a child and I hate it now. I've got a dog but she's a JRT cross, very small and not one for very long walks.

Last three days I've tried to cut right back, out of desperation.

Had toast with beans and a small bit of grated cheese, fresh fruit juice for breakfast. Lunch I usually skip but tried to make myself have something, just vegetable based - no bread or potatoes. Had mushrooms stuffed with tomatoes, pesto and parmesan which was lovely. Tea I have had big salads with chicken, salmon, extra veg and fruit - no pasta, no potatoes etc. For sweet stuff just fresh fruit and creme fraiche.

No processed food, fizzy juice, cakes, low fat stuff, biscuits, ice cream, chips etc.

Really struggling tonight as there's biscuits in the cupboard and I'm desperate for one, I've hardly eaten today (1000 cal estimate on myfitnesspal) and shattered.

I've seen a dietician before and she just said to cut out rubbish, which is obviously the answer, but I'm so hungry and craving sugar/salt. Not sure if I can keep this up. My colleague wants me to go out for lunch next week too, not sure where to start with that.

ErictheGuineaPig Thu 14-Jun-18 21:44:26

That's hardly any calories, I'm not surprised you're starving. I'd eat my own arm if I tried to stick to that. I think you need to eat more. The heavier you are starting out the higher the calories you can eat whilst still losing weight. I'm about 11.5 stone and losing weight on 1800 calories - albeit with exercise thrown in. Check out team rh fitness on Facebook, it's one way of losing weight with a much more generous calorie allowance.

StormcloakNord Thu 14-Jun-18 21:50:55

Not much advice as I'm currently trying to replace lunch with a huel shake.

I'm the same height as you and not quite as big but I've put on roughly the same amount of weight in a year and it's through being in a new relationship/happy eating shite all the time.

It's horrid, I feel horrid, we get married in 5 months and I can't imagine walking down the aisle like this so I'm desperate!

Also sympathise with the rash. I'm sweaty a lot so rash in my legs, under my boobs and under my bloody stomach. It's grim.

DuchyDuke Thu 14-Jun-18 21:54:08

Unless you’re weighing food you have no idea what calories you’re eating.

Also, no offence, but as you are very overweight you will be able to lose a lot of weight on 1800 -2000 calories per day until you have lost a stone or so and then you can adjust them down. There is absolutely no need to go to 1k.

crayoladreamz Thu 14-Jun-18 21:59:58

You’ve gone to a total extreme. You will find it easier to stick to if you cut to about 1,800-2000 calories a day

You’ll lose weight still but it’ll be a hell of a lot easier.

cantlosetheweight12 Thu 14-Jun-18 22:11:23

That's what I was wondering, how accurate MFP actually is. I consume a lot of 'pointless' food and trying to get away from that, but I've no idea what's worth having.

Today I've eaten two slices of toast with beans at 9am, four Haribo at 2 or so, six crackers with cucumber and cheese, and a tablespoon of chutney at 5, two more slices of toast at 8pm and then a graze box just now. Also had 4 chocolate buttons at 5ish.

Admittedly I had a job interview over lunch and didn't want to buy a sandwich in town, then wasn't hungry for supper, but I think I've gone wrong totally by not eating proper meals. I just want rid of the fat, but have 60kg to lose which seems an impossible task. That's about as much as an average adult woman!

FATEdestiny Thu 14-Jun-18 22:14:31

Really struggling tonight...

Go and drink a litre of water (or sugar free squash) right now. Drinking through a straw helps i find. Buy a couple of 1 litre straw beakers and always have one full.

Once you've finished the litre, have a second litre. Next, get rid of the biscuits if they are a problem just bring there. Just crumble them up and throw them in the outside dustbin and don't buy any more.

A rough estimate of your BMI is 37-39. Mine was 43.7 on 1st January (I'm shorter than you at 5'3" and was 17 st 8.5). I've since lost over 5 stone, 2 and a bit stone to go to be healthy. I have also completed C25K and now run 10k twice a week and 5k on the other 5 days a week - I might add I am still obese while doing this with my BMI of 30.7. And I was fatter than you only 5 months ago. So without wishing to make this about me, I'm telling you this because it is totally possible. You could lose 5 stone by Christmas if you put your mind to it.

My tips would be:

- evaluate why you're scared of being hungry. There's nothing bad about being hungry. In fact, why are you hungry? Tonight you're probably just bored and obsessing, so get busy doing something else.

- be honest about your portion sizes. You don't actually need very much food, in terms of calories, in order to go about your day. Especially if you are inactive. Think about the amounts a slim person eats - if you're going to be slim then this is the amounts you will be eating.

This is to do with evaluating if you're really hungry. Realistically you won't need more calories than you'd had today. So be dispassionate about it, why do you think you're hungry when you biologically don't need any extra calories?

- start being active. I was non-sporty (and morbidly obese). I started pledging to walk the dog every day. Started at 2k walks and was knackered after finishing. But quickly built up to 4-5 mile walks every day. Then I had a little look at Couch to 5K and figured surely it can't teach someone like me to run? The program claims it can teach anyone to run. I agree. Give it a try.

FATEdestiny Thu 14-Jun-18 22:22:28

Had toast with beans and a small bit of grated cheese, fresh fruit juice for breakfast...
*Had mushrooms stuffed with tomatoes, pesto and parmesan.
Had big salads with chicken, salmon, extra veg and fruit.. fresh fruit and creme fraiche

While you flat mention portion sizes, that sounds like more than 1000 calories to me.

And in addition you've had:

four Haribo at 2 or so, six crackers with cucumber and cheese, and a tablespoon of chutney at 5, two more slices of toast at 8pm and then a graze box just now. Also had 4 chocolate buttons

So I think you're maybe kidding yourself with your calorie counting.

cantlosetheweight12 Thu 14-Jun-18 23:01:58

That's not all in one day. All I've had today was -

Two slices granary toast, butter, beans, 2inch bit of cheess
Six ryvita crackers (26cal each), 4inches of cucumber, tbsp of chutney
4 milky buttons, 6 Haribo
Two slices of toast with peanut butter
Water
Can of coke zero
1 graze box

According to MFP (and me) That's shite, pointless food - next to no protein, no real vitamins, no decent fibre etc...

Also done 55 mins walking. Just walked dog 35 mins or so round park.

On a day where I don't try:

Toast, beans, cheese, 500ml fresh OJ or apple
Chocolate
Nothing for lunch
Chocolate, biscuits, ice cream
Takeaway or pizza and chips or fried rice and meat/veg, mayo with everything
Ice cream, sweets
Toast before bed
Coke, irn bru, lucozade sport to drink

So I know I eat shit normally, and am eating rubbish now just much less of it! I want to get to a place where I'm eating well, sensibly, not hungry and happier.

megletthesecond Thu 14-Jun-18 23:07:06

You can do this. But you need to eat more nutritious food for a start.
Toast, butter beans and cheese isn't a great breakfast. Something like overnight oats with fruit and nuts or something more protein-y like eggs is healthier.

peachypetite Thu 14-Jun-18 23:32:58

Breakfast - overnight oats or salmon and eggs. Lunch - vegetable soup or salad. Dinner - chicken breast or fillet of fish with loads of vegetables.

MamaMiapartytime Fri 15-Jun-18 00:53:09

Two slices granary toast, butter, beans, 2inch bit of cheess
Six ryvita crackers (26cal each), 4inches of cucumber, tbsp of chutney
4 milky buttons, 6 Haribo
Two slices of toast with peanut butter
Water
Can of coke zero
1 graze box

What graze box- they can have loads of calories. How thick was the peanut butter? etc
You could easily have had more than 1000 calories with what is listed above. 400 just bread alone to begin with.

cantlosetheweight12 Fri 15-Jun-18 01:05:55

Peanut butter I do put on thick definitely - I get a shock if someone else spreads it! Try to buy crunchy instead as less likely to spread thick.

Graze boxes I just have the ones you can get in Tesco (can't be bothered buying the boxes online), the one tonight had about 6 pecan nuts, about 5 dark choc buttons and dried cherries/raisins. Didn't make much difference to hunger, just shut up craving for food.

Walking the dog made a difference though, I enjoyed that. She did too, raced around the park.

cantlosetheweight12 Fri 15-Jun-18 01:10:26

Will do eggs and mushrooms for breakfast tomorrow, with toast; salad for lunch, and then chicken and veg in for tea. Have a huge bag of kale needing eaten so could do something with that and the chicken.

I haven't had soup in a long time, wonder if I could have a go at making some.

The one thing I do need to get used to is eating food without mayo, I add it to virtually everything and I forget what stuff tastes like without it !

foxpox Fri 15-Jun-18 01:30:11

Try and get a bit more protein in? It should make you feel fuller for longer. Maybe eggs and beans rather than eggs and toast...? You'll also be ditching the butter which whilst fine, will be extra calories as you start needing to drop more. Bread is quite high in calories too and if it's just plain white then of no nutritional value at all. Porridge for breakfast is a good choice. It fills me up beyond lunchtime anyway. Add a sprinkle of sunflower seeds or ground linseed in.
If picking in the evening is a risk then find something to do. Something with your hands even better. Drawing, music or knitting and you could make something? You can't have salty crispy hands when knitting!
Nuts are good for you so if you get a graze box get one with just nuts and pulses rather than the sugar filled dried fruit and choc. The veggie power (?) one is yum.
Do not buy stuff you don't want to eat. Just don't do it. Shop online and when you go to supermarket take the exact cash you need to get whatever top ups like milk etc. No cards. Then you can't buy something on impulse.
Don't know what your family and friends are like but hopefully supportive and will understand you may be a little irritable when hungry and adapting. Good luck

halfwitpicker Fri 15-Jun-18 01:39:28

Give us a list of stuff you don't /can't eat please and we'll make suggestions.

PintOfMineralWater Fri 15-Jun-18 01:42:47

What about trying WW? I've tried other diets and this is the only one that works for me. I've lost around 5kg with their plan in six weeks. There are "no point" foods like eggs and lean protein and veg to stop you from getting hungry. The first couple of weeks were difficult, but I've hit my stride now.

I feel you. I've been at that high end where you just feel a bit hopeless.

offupop Fri 15-Jun-18 01:49:26

Have a look a macro eating for weight loss.

If you follow whole foods, cleaning eating, 25% carbs (nothing starchy like bread or potatoes only veg and salad) 50% protein (lean protein like fish, chicken, quorn, egg whites etc), 25% good fat (advocado, eggs, nuts, Greek yogurt) . Stick to this for a couple of days and you'll feel hunger disappear. You can easily stick to this with 1200-1500 kcal per day no hunger.
Grab a square of dark chocolate if you fall foul to sweet cravings.

Try and drink 2l + of water a day. You need the water to flush the fat out of your liver that you have metabolised. You will find you
You won't lose weight unless you drink ALOT of water. Good luck!

cantlosetheweight12 Fri 15-Jun-18 11:41:52

Food I like:

Olives, cheese, tomatoes, garlic, pomegranates, berries, yoghurt, chicken, bacon, tuna, salmon, mackerel, prawns, cod, trout, cous cous, cucumber, courgettes, aubergines, mushrooms, hummus, salsa, avocado, chilli, granary or sourdough bread, pesto, broccoli, mangetout, green beans

Food I don't:

Curry/Indian food, mince, beef, peas, plain boiled veg, noodles, aspargus, boiled rice, mashed potato, boiled potatoes, plain bananas, white bread, milk, porridge/oats, coffee, tofu, quorn, sardines... I'm a fussy shit sorry.

Usually prefer to graze/small meals as have IBS type issues... tend to get upset tummy if I eat a lot of stuff (D&V).

Family range from calling me fat to 'friendly intervention' to total indifference and offering me crap all the time. Friends more inclined to say something nice but firm, as are a couple of relatives.

For breakfast this morning I had two fried eggs in olive oil, two slices granary toast (hovis) with anchor butter (thin), cherry tomatoes and mushrooms (fried in same oil as eggs). Apple juice to drink.

Will take the dog around the park this afternoon (we are lucky to live rural and there's a 'park' - more a football field - just 5 five minutes walk away) and try the coach to 5k thing.

I used to be able to walk upwards of 8 miles a day no problem, I'm embarrassed that I can barely do two now. I need a break just after doing one.

Lunch I probably wouldn't need as had a late breakfast, but supper I'll do chicken breast and veg with a bit of pesto to flavour it.

Starlight345 Fri 15-Jun-18 12:12:11

Just following . I need to read later ? Are you vegetarian as cheese peanut putter are high fat proteins . No mention of fruit . I find an apple or banana help

VladmirsPoutine Fri 15-Jun-18 12:23:53

Your diet doesn't sound particularly conducive to weight-loss. Stop eating bread and especially stop eating Haribo and chocolate buttons.
It might sound trite but a thousand mile journey starts with a single step.

Awoof Fri 15-Jun-18 12:45:19

Have poached eggs or boiled next time and one slice toast and water instead of fruit juice. Grill instead of fry.
I think you've just fallen into bad habits but it's tiny changes like the above that will be your saviour I think smile

Blobby10 Fri 15-Jun-18 12:45:52

cantlosetheweight same height but haven't been as unlucky as you with reasons to gain weight. However, I HAVE been like you - "why aren't I losing weight when I'm hardly eating anything"

Then i starting weighing my food - the 'teaspoon' of peanut butter was actually around 50g instead of the 10 I was putting on MFP. The 'little piece' of cheese on my pasta was actually around 3oz/75g instead of the 1oz/25g I recorded. It makes a HUGE difference!

Also the exercise - its really sad but walking for 55 minutes will probably only burn around 100 calories - thats what you need to do to burn off a Cadburys Freddo bar and look how tiny they are!! Even a Milky Way is 120 calories!

If you were my friend, I would suggest that you spend a week just becoming aware of exactly what you are eating. Weigh it all before you put it in your mouth and write it down in a notebook. Do that for 4 or 5 days (including a weekend as most of us eat more at the weekend!) then go back and try to evaluate how you could save calories.

For example, if I had cooked your breakfast this morning, I would have used a non stick frying pan so no oil for eggs or mushrooms (or at least a max of 5 squirts of Light Fry stuff), no butter on toast - scraping of ketchup for something different maybe, and water or black coffee instead of the apple juice. Keep an eye on the bread too as most slices of 'healthy' stuff ie granary or seeded come in at over 120 calories each. Its very easy to mount those pesky calories up.

Your supper sounds fine - so long as the chicken breast is grilled or dry fried and the veg are steamed or boiled. pesto is great for flavouring!!

Good luck - its worth checking out the boards on MFP for some healthy tips but dont get too focussed on them as they can be a bit depressing sometimes if you don't want to think food and exercise 24/7!!!

StormTreader Fri 15-Jun-18 13:13:43

"For breakfast this morning I had two fried eggs in olive oil, two slices granary toast (hovis) with anchor butter (thin), cherry tomatoes and mushrooms (fried in same oil as eggs). Apple juice to drink. "

You've rather sabotaged yourself with this breakfast I think, you could have had probably more enjoyable food for the amount of calories you had.
Did you pour the oil in? You can use way more than you need by doing that, spritzing or putting on a paper towel and wiping the pan is better. Mushrooms absorb oil so your healthy mushrooms could easily be 150 calories from the oil. Eggs are about 70 each, plus a bit extra for the oil, so say 160 for those. Bread is about 120 per slice plus the butter - lets say 275 there. Cherry tomatoes were fried too so say 70 for those. Did you measure the apple juice? Fruit juice seems healthy but its LOADED with sugar while not giving you the fibre in the fruit. Lets say you had a cans amount - 330ml is about 150 calories.

So, thats 160 + 150 + 70 + 275 + 150 = an 800 calorie breakfast.
Thats before you get to lunch, or dinner.
The upside is its pretty easy to see ways to cut that right down with almost the same meal - use the oil sprays and swapping the apple juice out for something lowcal like coffee or tea with no sugar or low calorie squash (water is best of course but I find it too boring!) would give you an easy 300 calories back in your hand and you probably wouldnt even notice.

DuchyDuke Fri 15-Jun-18 13:18:15

Two large eggs - 140 cals
1 tablespoon oil (my guess you had more than this) - 120 cals
2 slices granary toast - at least 200 calories
A visible coating of butter must be at least 40 -50 grams - 200 cals
200ml apple juice - 200 cals (but you probably had more as you didn’t measure it).

So at least 860 cals minimum. My guess is you probably had more towards 1000.

You need to WEIGH and MEASURE your food. You can’t get away not doing this. Even the bread has to be measured because most of the time it weighs as much as 1.5 slices on the calorie count at the back.

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