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Am I autistic?

(166 Posts)
Howmanysleepstilchristmas Thu 14-Jun-18 17:31:01

I know you can’t say for sure, and that no one here knows me.
I met a woman a few days ago, and we really clicked (I think so anyway!). I remember thinking she was very similar to me in a lot of ways- a tendency to over share (disarmingly honest and open), a tendency to interrupt (I was aware of her consciously stopping herself, like I do) or talk without pausing much. I was surprised when she told me she’d just been diagnosed with ASD- her eye contact was good, and I found her really engaging and interesting, if a little intense (in a good way).
I’d heard women with ASD present differently but never looked it up.
I just did, and am wondering if I tick some boxes. I assume I have poor social skills as I have no friends, and have only ever had a couple over my lifetime (often none) but I feel I get on with people. I’m very empathetic and work in a caring role, which I’m told I’m very good at. I’m very shy naturally but have learnt to pretend well otherwise. I struggle not to talk over people. I tend to over share (not massively or embarrassingly, just probably tell people things sooner than others would). I suffer with anxiety and depression.
Looking at it written down I suspect I’m just shy, lonely and trying to make sense of it, but I’m curious what others think. I know I could see my Gp etc, but I’m fairly sure they wouldn’t offer anything: 3 schools have suggested DS may have ASD but haven’t recommended asking for diagnosis as he functions well and apparently wouldn’t really need or qualify to receive extra support. Can anyone with experience or a personal diagnosis tell me a bit more about female presentation please?

sonlypuppyfat Thu 14-Jun-18 17:33:38

Perhaps it's just the way you are, do you need a label

Howmanysleepstilchristmas Thu 14-Jun-18 17:37:54

No, I don’t. It’s just on my mind. If I needed a label I’d see a professional not mumsnet! I’ve often wondered if there was a reason I found it so hard to fit in, and now I’m just wondering if this could be it.

TheMonkeyMummy Thu 14-Jun-18 17:41:04

If you are seriously concerned, read up more about it and then go to see a professional.

PinkDaffodil2 Thu 14-Jun-18 17:42:39

You could try taking the AQ test online - it won’t give a definitive answer but may give you more of an idea than we can. If you have a lot of traits then there is loads of online information and support available even without a formal diagnosis. psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

nottinghillgrey Thu 14-Jun-18 17:46:05

The good old ‘do you need a label’

It’s NOT A FUCKING LABEL.

It’s a diagnosis, an explanation, some understanding.

OP read as much as you can and speak to your GP about your thoughts, even if you decide not to take that any further.

Ardant Thu 14-Jun-18 17:46:15

In a hurry here, but I'm autistic, and yes the label helps, of course it does!

You have a reason for why you are the way you are, why you've never fit in.

Have you googled Tania Marshall's list? And Samantha Craft's? Then try answering (really honestly) the AQ Cambridge uni tests ticking the "I think I have autism" boxes
http://aspietests.org/index

GPs won't refer you easily, it's not available everywhere anyway on the NHS and takes years usually when it is sadly.

ItIsUnnervinglyQuietInHere Thu 14-Jun-18 17:47:20

Perhaps it's just the way you are, do you need a label

Comments like this always amuse me.

Only an NT would say this! grin

sonlypuppyfat Thu 14-Jun-18 17:48:25

I don't know what an NT is so I'm not insulted

Ardant Thu 14-Jun-18 17:49:38

Yes, diagnosis is a better word.

And yes I thought that exact thought too quiet! (After all, we're all a bit on the spectrum, no need to make a fuss, etc etc) grin

NT = neurotypical.

Even if you're not, why would you answer someone so dismissively in such an unhelpful way? The mind boggles.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas Thu 14-Jun-18 17:51:00

I’ve just tried the test, but I’m not sure if it’s more focused on male presentations from what I’ve read. Scored 20.

sonlypuppyfat Thu 14-Jun-18 17:54:43

All I'm saying is accept yourself as you are without looking for a label

Hereshopingforimprovement Thu 14-Jun-18 17:55:04

Op you sound a lot like me. Ds was diagnosed not long ago and I suspect I am also autistic. I score very highly on a the tests and a lot of what has been written about autistic women resonates with me but I'm reluctant to go to my go for some reason.

ItIsUnnervinglyQuietInHere Thu 14-Jun-18 17:56:35

I don't know what an NT is so I'm not insulted

It wasn't supposed to be an insult confused

But I do read/hear it a lot.

NeuroTypicals generally have no idea about, or experience of, the hyperfocus and obsession of autism.

It's not about having a 'label', it's about having an answer to a question you can't get out of your head; that repeats, endlessly, on a loop.

nottinghillgrey Thu 14-Jun-18 17:56:41

All I'm saying is accept yourself as you are without looking for a label

Such an ignorant comment.

Poxyloxy Thu 14-Jun-18 17:57:08

Bloody hell, I could have written op’s post word for word! Watching with interest...

Ardant Thu 14-Jun-18 18:00:59

What about those lists OP?

You might not be, but it was such a revelation to me, it's changed my life (not all for the better, but mostly).

It's definitely worth exploring if it all chimes true for you.

It'll help you ACCEPT who you are, not deny it.

AttilaTheMusical Thu 14-Jun-18 18:02:03

I just took the test on Daffodil's link and got 31. Bit taken aback.

kyrenialady Thu 14-Jun-18 18:02:46

You sound similar to me OP.

I scored 37 on that test from above.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas Thu 14-Jun-18 18:05:05

Just read Samantha Craft’s list. The numbers and patterns bit, the motor functioning bit and the sensory bit don’t really relate to me.
The rest was so close to home I nearly cried (can’t quite figure out why though!)

Clairetree1 Thu 14-Jun-18 18:06:22

I disagree with the advice to read more about it- it is a well known phenomena that the more you read about autism, the more boxes you find that you think you tick yourself.

Howmanysleepstilchristmas Thu 14-Jun-18 18:08:12

@Ardant - yes, I’d like to be able to accept who I am. Hope I’m not just clutching at straws trying to make sense of things though. Damn, nearly crying now!
Will look up Tania Marshal later, have to see to dc now.

nottinghillgrey Thu 14-Jun-18 18:08:42

I scored 45.

Clairetree1 Thu 14-Jun-18 18:09:10

And what those people who object to cynicism about "labels" need to understand is that labels are NOT in fact necessarily a "diagnosis" and an "understanding" -

so many neurological characteristics have been catagorised into smaller and smaller classes that the labels very often are meaningless, because there is no consensus about what they mean, or consistency over how they are applied over time or geography.

nottinghillgrey Thu 14-Jun-18 18:10:03

I disagree with the advice to read more about it- it is a well known phenomena that the more you read about autism, the more boxes you find that you think you tick yourself.

Is it? It can't be that well known, I have never heard of that. Maybe I read myself autistic hmm

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