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Leaving a breastfed baby?

(25 Posts)
2014mum Wed 13-Jun-18 22:40:36

My baby will be 5 months at the time I have to go to a work event in 2 weeks and am leaving him with a friend.

He’s been breastfed from birth but did used to take a full bottle of formula occasionally in the evenings from around 2 weeks. He started refusing this at around 3 months old (also when he stopped sleeping)

He refuses any bottles now, formula or breast milk but has recently started (very reluctantly) taking 1 oz of the ready made formula at night from DP.

Does anyone have any experience or leaving a breastfed baby? Is it true that he’ll likely take it when there’s no other choice?

I have to attend if I don’t want my career to die. I’ll be leaving around 8am and should be back at 6pm. He knows the friend and she’s watched him for a week while I worked from home before but bought him up to me for feeds.

Honest experiences and advise would be very appreciated! Thank you!

Grandmaswagsbag Wed 13-Jun-18 22:47:46

Mine took a bottle of expressed milk at around 4 months when I left her, having refused previously. I was within driving distance just incase though. Tricky one. In all likelyhood he will take it, or you can try a cup? Is he on any solids? Can your dp not have him so he’s more familiar if he’s taken bottle from them before?

Bobbiepin Wed 13-Jun-18 22:49:02

I found that DD wouldn't take a bottle from me but would if other people gave it. Is there time to try leaving her with your friend for a little while and trying the bottle again when you aren't there?

How long would it take you to get back if she absolutely refused the both? Have you tried different bottles too? Some babies just don't get on with a particular brand.

Bobbiepin Wed 13-Jun-18 22:49:35

Oops Sorry, thought it was DD not DS.

2014mum Wed 13-Jun-18 22:55:15

Thank you both. Not on any solids yet. I’ll be a 2 hour drive away, it’s a very male dominated industry and sadly having to leave to breastfed my baby would be as destroying as not going at all. sad

We’ve tried NUK, Tommee tippee, Minibe and Medela bottles. Tried aptimal, C&G (premade and powder) and expressed milk. Different temps, different times of day etc.

I won’t see the friend until the day now but we will keep trying. When you say try a cup what do you mean? Sorry if that’s a stupid question, my first was formula fed so it’s all new..

Foggymist Wed 13-Jun-18 23:14:51

Definitely try a cup, just a small child's cup, hold it up to his mouth and he will likely drink it, might take a few goes to get used to it. My 6 month old ds can drink perfectly out of a cup.

IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens Wed 13-Jun-18 23:18:32

Have you got any friends breastfeeding? Could they wet nurse?

BeginningToWobble Thu 14-Jun-18 05:55:18

A small cup. A normal cup for a baby is like us drinking from a a bucket. Shot glass size works best grin

Mine never drank from a bottle, never. So at least yours knows what a bottle is and does drink some which I imagine will mean that he will take it when it is the only thing that is on offer and you're not there. mine went the whole day without food, but I was the one trying to get her to take a bottle so not the same situation

Have you thought about yourself? Will you be able to pump? Take a spare shirt & bra etc just in case.

2014mum Thu 14-Jun-18 09:11:45

Oh so a real cup not a sippy cup? Ok I’ll leave one of those thank you, he takes calpol from a syringe so was also thinking of leaving one of those syringes incase she has to force it to him but I imagine that will take forever?

I hadn’t even thought about me.. I don’t think I’ll be able to pump while there. Is my supply likely to dry up? Will keep spare tops while there. Do people get mastitis etc from just one day not feeding?

I’m getting so stressed about the whole situation. sad

pastabest Thu 14-Jun-18 09:22:17

Honestly even if your baby doesn't have anything until you get back the worst that will happen is that he will be a bit grumpy and hungry. The likelihood is though that your friend will manage to get something into him at some point during the day.

Your supply won't dry up in one day but the likelihood of your boobs exploding and you leaking everywhere is pretty high. The best thing to do is contact the venue and ask what provisions they will make for you to express during the day.

Finally, although it is a male dominated industry you may find that your colleagues are more flexible/sympathetic than you give them credit for. Presumably some of them may have had breastfeeding partners at some point and will know the deal?

cestlavielife Thu 14-Jun-18 09:24:50

You can buy big syringes e.g. 15 ml ask pharmacy

BeginningToWobble Thu 14-Jun-18 09:25:07

No, your supply won't dry up in one day, but you might leak and it could be painful when you get too 'full'. So you might want to plan to go to the bathroom to relieve yourself.

Yes, syringe is also a good idea. A sippy cup could work if he's had one before but it might not. Can also try a spoon, but that is messy!

DiplomaticDecorum Thu 14-Jun-18 09:27:54

Is there any chance that your friend could travel with you, and you could feed at lunchtime/breaks?

Camomila Thu 14-Jun-18 09:31:06

Could your friend and baby come with you?

So drive there...feed....then friend and baby go off for fun day trip round town where work event is....pop out at lunchtime and feed again....then feed when the event finishes and drive home together?

PotteringAlong Thu 14-Jun-18 09:33:26

Your supply won’t dry up but it could very well be painful and you might leak. You will need to express some milk I would have thought - I would have had to.

tenbob Thu 14-Jun-18 09:58:34

Can you borrow or buy a hand pump?
Pump in the loo and dump it if you need to but it's better than getting engorged

Mammyloveswine Thu 14-Jun-18 10:49:21

Sorry but it is appalling that you think it would "destroy" your career to breastfeed your young baby. It is a legal right that you get breaks to either express or feed your baby and it is dangerous for you not to!

Women really need to start taking a stand against this sort of shit.

lostinsunshine Thu 14-Jun-18 11:01:49

I'm not sure what industry you are in. I have a friend in construction (female friend) which is pretty male dominated. But they are pretty supportive. Some men are Dads whose partners breastfeed.

Mumtolovelyboyandgirl Thu 14-Jun-18 15:14:13

Sorry that this is stressing you out. My baby won’t take a bottle at all either, but I left her for a few hrs to attend a wedding. She was a bit upset and refused milk, but she did have some water in the end from a spoon and took a nap.
Please make sure you find some time during your day (will there be breaks?) when you can pump as you’re likely to be a bit uncomfortable. Could you ring ahead to the venue to ask them to provide access to an office or private spot to pump? Try not to worry about what the men will think - many of them will be fathers/uncles/have friends with babies and may understand more than you think. I hope it goes well.

Wellthisunexpected Thu 14-Jun-18 15:17:51

Mine wouldn't take a bottle. At all, full stop. Even when there was no other choice. At 5 months I left for most of day, he did not drink anything for the whole time I was gone. My mum (who is very experienced with babies) had to call me to ask me to come home.

MujosMama Thu 14-Jun-18 15:28:36

This is really tough OP, I went back to work 1 day a week when my baby was 3 months and for a while it was really hard. He also started bottle refusing at around 7-8 weeks and it was so worrying! We found that the only bottles he would take were Mam with the little flat teats so they may be worth a go? To be honest I think the first day I went back he didn't take more than 3oz in the day with my DP. But one day of not much food really isn't going to do any permanent damage, you'll just find they're stuck on you when you get home. 8-6 isn't too bad, I thought at first you were leaving overnight. Just brief your friend so they don't panic too much and ask them to keep offering the bottle. I would be much more worried about your boobs - your supply shouldn't be affected but I would definitely take a manual pump and use it at least twice, even if it means sitting in the loo and dumping it after.

INeedNewShoes Thu 14-Jun-18 15:30:24

DD's babysitter managed to get bottles into her by putting her in the bouncy chair and hiding behind it holding the bottle. Worth a try...

Brown76 Thu 14-Jun-18 15:57:06 These are great, but if not a small adult cup would also be possible. Just hold up to their mouth and let them lap it or take small sips. Teaspoon or syringe are also other options. You will probably need to express at least once for your own comfort and to prevent mastitis. You have the right to breaks to do this, but you could also say that you need to make a phone call to your childcarer and use that time to take a break.

angie1984 Thu 14-Jun-18 16:03:33

My DD is 4 months and i've been leaving her to go to work once a week for the last few weeks, she doesn't have a lot of expressed milk from the bottle while i'm away but will have a big feed when i get back. I agree with others, I would worry about your boobs I leave for 9 hours and I have to pump after 4 hours and I get about 5-6 oz, otherwise it is painful.

letallthechildrenboogie Thu 14-Jun-18 18:50:35

When I had to go for training days we all went so that I could feed the baby just before I had to go in and straight away afterwards. Would this be an option? Could your friend come with you so you can top up baby before you start?

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