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Please help me be able to drive again!

(8 Posts)
Perkyduck131 Wed 13-Jun-18 22:16:15

So was late to driving- took 10 years on and off with multiple instructors and eventually passed on an automatic in my late 20s. I’m dyspraxic and my main difficulties lie with a sense of perception so I always feel as though I’m going to hit other cars/ the curb/ pedestrians.

After I had just passed my test I had a crash- was driving ( a then ) 6 month old DD to the walk in as she had a rash rapidly developing over her stomach and arms. It was rush hour, DD was screaming, I was crying and trying to check directions and ended up crashing into the back of the car in front. I decided to call it a day.

I haven’t driven in two years. It’s been relatively easy so far as we live in London and DH drives. However, as hDD (2.5) and DS (1.5) get older I feel more like I’m letting them down by not being able to drive. I’m determined by winter I will be able to do at least short journeys (to soft play or friend’s houses) but I can’t get rid of the anxiety every time I think of driving again.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any words of wisdom or advice? Anything I can do to get me back behind the wheel (will try anything!) I feel so shit that it’s such an essential life skill that I just can’t seem the grasp.

NCPuffin Wed 13-Jun-18 22:19:49

I'm in a similar situation. Hadn't driven in years, got some booster lessons, all good. Until I drove into a fucking lamp post in a car park and wrote the car off. I have driven a few times since, but our new car kept breaking down so I didn't want to and then got too nervous. We have agreed to take me off the car insurance and save some money. Not ideal, and I'd be keen to hear advice. Driving just terrifies me, the consequences of a mistake are so huge.sad

NCPuffin Wed 13-Jun-18 22:21:15

It's not an essential life skill btw, we are a nation of car addicts with rubbish public transport. Where I grew up everyone cycles! I'd definitely say it's not essential in London!

Slanetylor Wed 13-Jun-18 22:21:34

Bigger eejits than you can drive! That’s always been my mantra!
Self driving cars or at least cars that don’t crash easily will hopefully be in the way and will help people who find it a bit more difficult. Driving with a crying baby is incredibly difficult for everyone. Try not to drive in such high stress times if possible.

IDoAllMyOwnStunts Wed 13-Jun-18 22:25:43

How about booking a lesson with an instructor to give you some confidence?
Ask them to drive with you on a route you will do regularly at times you would go, to get a feel for it.

Perkyduck131 Thu 14-Jun-18 07:42:11

Thanks for the comments- @puffin I’m off the car insurance too, sorry to hear you also had a hard time. Absolutely agree that the consequences are awful if something goes wrong. Driving in London you rarely pick up much speed but it’s more the random idiots that walk out on to the road or step between cars. Even DH (who passed when he was 17 and has never had an accident) has had a few near misses when people have randomly pulled out etc. I get anxious in the car now even when he’s driving- hate it.

Haha love that mantra @slane - that’s what my mum says!

Thanks @ido that’s what I was thinking- I’m not going to go on motorways or dual carriageways anytime soon but would be nice to at least be able to drive to some local places when it’s raining!

I’m even considering CBT or hypnotherapy at this point- has anyone tried that?

Timeisslippingaway Thu 14-Jun-18 07:55:11

I was a very nervous driver when I passed. I new the only way to get over my fear was to drive every single day so it just became second nature. I still get nervous sometimes (a year and a half later) but can drive anywhere and am pretty confident. I had a small accident in a car park but didn't let it put me off, now I'm just more carefull (don't want it costing a fortune again).
Your accident probably happened because you were stressed and panicking, most people have a crash at some point. Terrible crashes do happen, but accident happen all the time in all aspects of life. Don't let it put you off.

SimonTheIceKing Thu 14-Jun-18 08:19:48

I hate driving. The only way I've found is to force yourself to do it. I started with small round the block journeys every couple of days and built up. The more you drive and it's completely uneventful the easier it becomes. Don't drive with the kids in the car until you are more confident. Take some refresher lessons if you feel unsure about the practical stuff.

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