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Is the propensity to cheat embedded in someone's DNA

(7 Posts)
livingontheedgeee Wed 13-Jun-18 11:31:33

Having been the victim of a cheating soon-to-be exH, I was really interested to read a relationship expert say that the personality types most likely to cheat are those who are:

Narcissistic - put their own needs first;
Lack empathy - unable to see something from someone else's perspective;
Grandiose - often over-egg their sexual prowess and need constant reassuring that they're doing great in the bedroom;
Impulsive - making rash decisions without considering the consequences;
Thrill-seeker;
Commitment phobe;
Masochistic.

Now if I could sum up my ex's character traits, it would be these.

Is character inherited or learned? Are the parents to blame or can they just not help it?

I'm interested in your thoughts.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Wed 13-Jun-18 11:33:39

Well I suppose there is possibly a biological urge in all of us to have sex with lots of partners to further the species but it’s 2018, we have evolved to have a deal of self control. So I would accept no biological excuses for cheating. He cheated because he wanted to have sex with that person.

PinkHeart5914 Wed 13-Jun-18 11:36:48

No I don’t think so! DNA doesn’t makes them cheat, they make a choice,

Last time I checked legs don’t just ping open and pants don’t just fall off, it’s a choice. If somebody cheats it’s because they wanted sex with that person, they made a choice

Hideandgo Wed 13-Jun-18 11:47:09

Not their DNA but maybe their psyche. Though I do believe the propensity to cheat is learned not innate. Maybe they haven’t learned respect for women/others, learned that the world doesn’t collapse when they did it once, learned that their partner will let it slide, learned that you don’t have to care about others more than yourself, learned that it’s ‘what men do’ or some other bullshit. So I think you should take a good look at potential partners parents, home life, friends and attitudes to many things in life in order to decide how much trust you can afford to give them with regards cheating.

LittleMissedTheSunshine Wed 13-Jun-18 11:48:02

I would hope not, otherwise we wouldn't have free will.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname Wed 13-Jun-18 11:51:41

Maybe more nurture? My dm brought (dragged) me up a hater /non respecter of men.
And no inclination to give me a higher esteem than she had.
Consequently I have been a cheater and had massive self esteem issues.
Saved by a fab dh and not that person anymore.
So no, not dna imo /e.

livingontheedgeee Wed 13-Jun-18 12:01:31

I guess a question to ask is whether your innate character influences your ability to make good choices.

I make really bad choices too as far as partners are concerned. I trust too much, never even consider someone has an agenda, always go for someone who talks the talk but has no substance.

I wonder what this says about me.

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