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The Coats Protection league

(285 Posts)
CoatsProtectionLeague Tue 12-Jun-18 10:26:28

Not going to link to previous thread

I’ve been keeping my head down.

I notice everything now. I cannot help but feel stressed with all of the lying I’m having to do and having to stay one step ahead but I’m pushing through. I don’t know how people have affairs- the covering up must be mindnumbingly hard!

Thank you for all of your good wishes and advice and support. It has helped where in RL I cannot tell anyone what I’m doing having a way to soundboard is so helpful.

3luckystars Tue 12-Jun-18 10:27:55

I just wanted to wish you all the best for the future.

CoatsProtectionLeague Tue 12-Jun-18 11:18:19

Thank you lucky

3luckystars Tue 12-Jun-18 21:37:19

Have you a counselor or someone you can talk to privately (besides us here) I hope you are doing ok as it’s a lot to carry.
I hope life will be good to you and your children after this. Take care x

RandomMess Tue 12-Jun-18 21:38:10


MrsDilligaf Tue 12-Jun-18 21:41:55

flowers & wine

One day this will hurt less and will be very much in the past.

Look after you and the DC x

JohnMcCainsDeathStare Tue 12-Jun-18 22:44:31

A counsellor would be a good idea - with all this lying in wait it's almost as if you're having an affair - except you have absolutely no fun.
You really need someone you can vent to at least - it'll help you when you need to do all the legal stuff later.

Slightlyjaded Tue 12-Jun-18 22:47:48

Hi Coats glad I have found you. I second talking to someone in RL if you can, but realise that may be easier saId than done.

We are all here cheering you on though, no matter what.

MrsMozart Tue 12-Jun-18 22:49:11

Here behind you lass. A handhold whenever you need it.

Namethecat Tue 12-Jun-18 22:51:27

Your doing fine. It's the first thing in the morning, and the last thing at night that gives the cobby wobbles. But remember you can do this. You are doing this.

fizzandchips Tue 12-Jun-18 22:56:25

You are such an amazing role model, not just for your children, but for us MN who find ourselves in difficult relationships. I know you don’t always feel strong and you never imagined you’d be in this position, but I wanted you to know that the strength and dignity you have shown has given so many others courage to have some quiet dignity. Thank you.

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey Tue 19-Jun-18 06:25:03

KOKO. gin How are you decompressing - can you even go to another room and and swear into a tea towel/cushion to relieve some pressure and banish the toxicity on some level? What is seen cannot be unseen, sadly.

Weezol Tue 19-Jun-18 06:35:10

I find writing things down a helpful release - just stream of consciousness with no regard for spelling and grammar. A password protected file called something unappealling like 'Menopause notes' or 'Gynae letter' is good cover.
It can also be a useful thing to refer back to when putting together grounds for unreasonable behaviour for a divorce - I can vouch for this!

eggncress Wed 20-Jun-18 01:22:36

You are amazing,Coats !
I read your previous thread. Look after yourself flowers

TinyTear Wed 20-Jun-18 12:00:24

Good luck, you are a very strong woman!

RatRolyPoly Wed 20-Jun-18 12:04:20

We'll do what we can to keep you sane Coats - you're doing phenomenally well brew

Stephisaur Wed 20-Jun-18 13:07:02

Look after yourself Coats flowers

Borntobeamum Wed 20-Jun-18 13:12:29

As I said on your previous post - You're amazing x

Thewheelshavefallenoffthebus Wed 20-Jun-18 20:02:19

You are doing great op x x

JohnMcCainsDeathStare Wed 20-Jun-18 22:29:52

Whatever else is in store at least there's no more Father's day.

Gotitwrongagain Thu 21-Jun-18 00:01:28

Found you at last! (Sorry, that sounds creepy!!)
Been thinking of you lots. Hope the weekend was bearable. X

Slightlyjaded Thu 21-Jun-18 09:48:56

Hi Coats - checking in. How are you?

CoatsProtectionLeague Thu 21-Jun-18 17:17:32

Hey all.

Fathers’ Day oh how grim. That felt like a long day.

Weirdest thing happened yesterday though- so weird it’s cringe

(Early evening)I was sat on the bench in our garden typing on the laptop trying to get some vitamin d - the bench faces the French doors in a second quiet lounge(which were open) H came over to the rug-lay down and took a selfie (lying on the rug) then walked off

All oblivious to the fact I was there.

I really couldn’t care less. And actually- I feel terribly sorry for whom ever he is feeding his swathes of bullshit to but to counteract this. I’ve been taking photos of his disgusting habits (including sleeping non stop -when he claims to be at yoga/cross country biking/spin class/boating/golf etc) his skiddy pants, piss left on toilet seats -you get the picture . I feel this will make me feel better one day grin

More done in the unit. I have enough drugs and expensive toiletries to start my own pharmacy (Long best before dates on them) dc has a new pair of glasses ordered and paid for and I took 2 cars for a test drive today (H has no idea) I’m going to get something a bit more economical to run.

I’m just very focused now. I’ll save the fretting for the shitstorm that will commence forthwith.

ladyratterley Thu 21-Jun-18 17:21:51

Coats you are amazing. I have been following your threads but hadn't commented until now.

Keeping a log of all his shitty habits will help cement the fact that you've done the right thing! I have an old list like this that I'd written when I was ending a fucked up relationship when I was being cheated on. I found it a few months ago & I almost laughed at the disgusting habits he had. Ones that I don't have to put up with any more.

Keep on keeping on. You are doing great.

CoatsProtectionLeague Thu 21-Jun-18 17:29:40

Thank you Lady.

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