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I'm sure school think parents don't work!

(120 Posts)
Cleanermaidcook Tue 12-Jun-18 08:03:24

They've scheduled ds assembly Tuesday, sports day Wednesday, dd assembly Thursday all in the same week!
No grandparents, aunties, families to go in my place, dh works away a lot dour the week. I work in a preschool and can't just ask for 3 consecutive mornings off. sad
They only do 1 assembly per school year, it's not like its a weekly occurrence for them.
Just needed a rant - they really could have spread it out a bit!

Timeforabiscuit Tue 12-Jun-18 08:07:12

Our sports day starts in the morning and includes a picnic, this is the day after an afternoon awards presentation starting at 1pm.

Only solution is geting a card board cut out me, just trying to decide to put it at work or the games confused

Its coming to the end of primary now, so i know there are only a handful more times to juggle.

Childrenofthesun Tue 12-Jun-18 08:15:28

I work 3 days a week but my DC's school unfailingly schedule every parent-attended event on a Friday when I'm working. I'm a teacher so I can't take time off. I've spoken to them to ask if they can mix up the days when they schedule things and they always promise they will but never do.

I manage to get to one assembly a year each and the rest of the time nobody attends. (DH is also a teacher and has a long commute which makes it even harder for him.) I always assumed this was the case for many parents but according to my DC they are often the only children with no parent there!

anotherangel2 Tue 12-Jun-18 08:18:05

They are trying to meet the wants of Ofsted to have parental involvement.

NapQueen Tue 12-Jun-18 08:18:28

I wish they would just do a whole school assembly day - bulk y1 and y2 in 9-9.30am, y3 and y4 10.30-11am; year 5 and yr 6 2-3.

One day get it all iver and done with.

Bearfrills Tue 12-Jun-18 08:21:03

This week:

Monday - SENCO meeting for DS
Tuesday - all day hospital appointment for DS
Wednesday - DS and DD sports day
Thursday - DS2 sports day (same bloody school!)
Friday - second all day hospital appointment for DS

Next week I have an assembly, an open day, a repair appointment (only available Monday to Friday, of course), and an appointment for DD2.

I'm on extended maternity leave at the moment, a perk of being self-employed no pay though but if I wasn't there would be no way I could manage with all the random days off I'd need here, there, and everywhere.

TheCatFromOuterSpace Tue 12-Jun-18 08:21:06

Our school are quite good with this. It probably helps that dp and I both work part time and one of us is always off on a Friday, when school have the majority of their events. We knew this when dd started and swapped our working days around.

Sirzy Tue 12-Jun-18 08:23:44

I think schools are in a no win situation with this one. This next half term is often the busiest with so much to try to fit in.

At least with them all being differentndays it hopefully increases the chance of parents being able to get to at least one.

But let’s not forget many teachers and other staff members will also be parents so will be more than aware that often it’s simply impossible to get there!

SpinMill Tue 12-Jun-18 08:24:01

Dd's school tend to give us a few days notice of the latest open afternoon/event, simply not enough time to be able to arrange time off work, meaning dd ends up being one of the few with no parent there. Have asked numerous times for more notice but it never happens, no idea how the other parents do it, can o my assume most have at least one parent who doesn't work.

Cleanermaidcook Tue 12-Jun-18 08:24:16

anotherangel I know it's for ofsteds benefit, I work in preschool, they could have spread it out a bit though, surely no one can take 3 days off in the same week.
napqueen ace idea - just get it over with 😂
childrenofthesun all the parents go to assembly at their school too, it's noticed when a parent doesn't show. The class governor tends to go over to praise them so they're no stood alone.

TheNavigator Tue 12-Jun-18 08:24:31

Primary is ridiculous for this. It is a new thing. My mum worked full time and there was never an expectation her or my father would ever visit the school (70s childhood). My primary expected parents to be there what felt like all the fucking time.

Good news is it all stops at High School - apart from parent's evening (which as the name says is in the evening) school does the educating and we do the parenting. A happy and appropriate divide of duties if you ask me.

PlateOfBiscuits Tue 12-Jun-18 08:26:35

Children are in schools 9-3 Monday to Friday. Obviously if something like a Sports Day or Assembly is happening it will be within those hours.

It’s Summer Term, everything like Sports Day and End of Year assemblies and Award Presentations are going to be now.

PlateOfBiscuits Tue 12-Jun-18 08:27:41

My primary expected parents to be there what felt like all the fucking time.

Not expected, invited.

Nicknacky Tue 12-Jun-18 08:28:05

My daughter nursery had something on 4 out of five days last week. She goes to the nursery attached to the school my eldest goes to so I know it doesn’t get any better once she starts!

I get why they want parents involved but it’s too much, I managed to get to lots of events as I work shifts but it leaves you and the kids feeling a bit rubbish when you can’t manage it.

0lwen Tue 12-Jun-18 08:31:55

I used to help a lot. Now that I work, I don't help at all so I think it's a cycle. They would ask the parents of the 4-6 year olds with babies behind them for help.

adaline Tue 12-Jun-18 08:32:32

It does get a bit ridiculous, and I remember getting quite upset when, yet again, my parents couldn't make a daytime school event because they had to work. Lots of my friends had a SAHP and always had someone there at sports days, assemblies, coffee mornings etc.

But my parents had to work and as an adult I can see all these expectations are ridiculous. But children often don't see it that way - they see their friends' parents attending and theirs not going and don't really understand why. I mean, they know mummy and daddy have to work but I don't think they fully understand how important that is.

I understand schools need to put these things on for OFSTED but I don't think they realise how upsetting they can for children whose parents aren't home full-time.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast Tue 12-Jun-18 08:36:20

I know it is really hard for single working parents.
then certain teachers (usually SENCOs) act all surprised that you have a job....
But what can schools do? Teachers work hard enough as it is.

NataliaOsipova Tue 12-Jun-18 08:44:43

I'm a SAHM and even I'm at the point of shooting myself at the prospect of yet another afternoon at the school. So I can absolutely sympathise with you.....

meditrina Tue 12-Jun-18 08:50:46

I do think that schools would benefit from having a PTA rep attend at least parts of events timetableing meetings.

Because I love it that the school had a lot going on. There were too many occasions where I did not love the scheduling, and some we're such obvious clashes that I was sure that there was no-one at calendar meetings who was looking at this from the parents POV. There should be, assuming if course that the school wants good relations with parents, rather than being a mix of authoritarian ('we do it like this because we say so') and martyr ('but we're doing so much you must be grateful')

Putting things on the same day each week, when there is no reason not to ring the changes from time to time, is especially hostile - it shows so little grasp of family dynamics when even a simple change cannot be made.

ChessieFL Tue 12-Jun-18 08:52:26

Our primary sounds very different to everyone else's. DD is in year 3 and we've never been invited to attend an assembly. Parents' evenings are always in the evenings. School concerts/performances run twice, once during school hours and once in the evening so all parents get chance to go. The only thing parents are invited to that happens during school hours and no other time is sports day.

alwaysthepessimist Tue 12-Jun-18 08:59:07

My DD school is the same, this week we have a homework showcase which I now can't attend and feel bad about it - sports day is on a wednesday morning and takes bloody hours, the amount of stuff they do is school time is mental, church visits, parent meetings, singing things etc etc etc, they really do think none of us work...

halcyondays Tue 12-Jun-18 08:59:34

We don't have a huge amount of these things, usually just Nativity/Carol Service and Sports Day. Other school plays are in the evenings. No assemblies except the Leavers' Service. They do have parents' "evenings" in the afternoons and school closes two hours earlier than usual on about 8 days of the year for this. (All schools here seems to do this) You can have them looked after until the usual home time on those days but there is a charge for this.

NataliaOsipova Tue 12-Jun-18 09:00:02

DD is in year 3 and we've never been invited to attend an assembly

What school is that? I will be moving my girls there immediately....grin

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 12-Jun-18 09:00:13

Same as pp, when I was at school (60's) my mum didn't work, and I don't think she ever came into the school to watch us perform, or even to prize day - they were for school only! Even for my brother, a few years later, there wasn't any expectation for parents to be in school.

When my kids were in school (90's-00's) I seemed to be in there every week until I went back to work. But, where I am, everyone was in couples, or the entire family would turn out to watch performances etc. I felt like a right Billy-No-Mates, single mum, sitting on my own all the time!

Oldraver Tue 12-Jun-18 09:03:38

I was SAHM while DS was in Primary and I still found it exhausting. The lasy few years they had taken to having assemblies at 10-11am...so you couldn't even drop off the kids and hang around

When I was at school in olden times there was the Christmas play and parents evening. No parent ever came to sports day

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