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Could you get by financially without a man?

(426 Posts)
windygallows Fri 08-Jun-18 15:22:55

Genuinely interested in this question and have been wondering for a while how many women could get by financially w/o a man.

Am coming at this as a single parent so I have no choice to get by - and realize that does give me a bias about this issue. The feminist in me probably sees the ideal as a woman who is entirely self sufficient but I know practically that's quite tricky to achieve.

It does worry me that approx. 1/3 of women age 18-65 aren't in employment at all and many rely on the opposite sex for income. Anecdotally at my age (late 40s) most of the women I know have a set up that highly relies on income from a man.

SoddingUnicorns Fri 08-Jun-18 15:24:17

Yes I could, but only because of a legacy my Mum left me and I own our house outright because of it. That sounds really wanky written down, I do not take it for granted at all.

IsDaveThere Fri 08-Jun-18 15:25:03

Definitely. In fact I did until I met my DP 9 years ago.

FredSheeran Fri 08-Jun-18 15:25:13

Yes. I was the main breadwinner for many years. My DH and I earn exactly the same amount of money and split everything down the middle.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Fri 08-Jun-18 15:25:16

Yes. I am the sole earner in my family and if DH wasn’t around my work has enough flexibility that I could work round pick ups and drop offs fairly easily.

My situation is definitely not typical in the people I know though.

Tobuyornot99 Fri 08-Jun-18 15:26:09

I could,but it would involve downsizing and going back to work full time. It wouldn't be my preference, but it's reassuring to know I can if I want to.

BlueBiros Fri 08-Jun-18 15:26:10

I do! Never going to be able to buy a house tho.

veggifriedbreakfast Fri 08-Jun-18 15:26:21

I actually think it's been made incredibly hard to get by without two incomes now. I'm in London and my wage just covers the rent

PhilODox Fri 08-Jun-18 15:26:38

Yes, because I have a v decent income, and know how to be extremely frugal (from necessity).
Housing costs for single people are horrific though, I realise I am fortunate.

windygallows Fri 08-Jun-18 15:26:47

Yay - lovely to see such positive responses and good stories. And no one yelling at me. Yet.

sloelostinflower Fri 08-Jun-18 15:27:26

Yes and no.

I manage fairly well but I don’t have a mortgage or rent to pay. Things are still tighter than for many of my friends, though.

windygallows Fri 08-Jun-18 15:28:30

Veggi I also agree that it's very hard to do without two incomes, especially in the SE. Becoming single has really opened my eyes to how much 'solo' people are disadvantaged. And it really is the luck of the draw - not talent or skill - if you get a partner or not, unless of course 'husband baiting' is an actual skill. My grandma definitely thought it was!

Magmatic80 Fri 08-Jun-18 15:28:51

Yes, I would. Conversely my DP wouldn’t be able to live alone without my financial contribution, although he would be fine if in a house share.

Johnnycomelately1 Fri 08-Jun-18 15:29:08

Yes- I earn a decent salary and have own savings and then some property ( that’s jointly held but even with half of it I’d be fine).

Poledra Fri 08-Jun-18 15:29:18

In my house, the question would be can DH survive financially without a woman? I am by far the higher-paid.

Jenda Fri 08-Jun-18 15:30:06

No! Well, maybe if I moved to somewhere far cheaper. DP earns 3x my salary. He never makes me feel like he is the breadwinner though, all the money goes in one pot. If anything ever happened I would felt struggle, and that's before we have kids!

Stephisaur Fri 08-Jun-18 15:30:15

I could, but I would need to downsize the house because I’m not ENTIRELY sure I could handle the mortgage solo.

Saying that though, I probably wouldn’t be spending money elsewhere so maybe I could manage it.

VladmirsPoutine Fri 08-Jun-18 15:30:56

Yes and it makes me smile from within smile

MillieAndObi Fri 08-Jun-18 15:31:57

Yes I could and it's extremely important to me to be independent and self sufficient. As much as I love my husband and have no intention of leaving him, you just never know what's round the corner. One of us could die young or become ill and not be able to work.

We both work and at various times we've each earned more than the other, but regardless it's all counted as joint money anyway. We've organised our finances so that we have an exact spilt of pensions and ISAs with the exact same amount in each, so we could each cope financially should one of us lose the other.

DoubleNegativePanda Fri 08-Jun-18 15:32:11

I get by. I don't own a house but I do own a car. We don't have much money, but we have the basics and a few small luxuries.

I was divorced six years ago and have absolutely no desire to partner up again. exH was so little help financially it's not as if I'm missing anything. I would much, much rather be on my own and live simply than ever risk putting myself into such a shit situation again.

MagicFajita Fri 08-Jun-18 15:32:28

Yes , I was a single parent working full time for several years before I met dh.

Flooffloof Fri 08-Jun-18 15:33:14

Yes but luckily I bought a dirt cheap house (cheap because area shite) and can live on very little if needed. So I could get by fine, but no holidays, few new clothes, few meals out kind of thing. More than subsist not so much life of Reilly

Moleskinediary Fri 08-Jun-18 15:35:27

Yes, I could pay my large mortgage and all living costs on only my income. I have a decent income but a bit variable as a contractor.

If he died I would be loaded!

Quiddichcup Fri 08-Jun-18 15:37:15

Sort of.

Single parent renting In the SE. Working full time on 20k a year.

No savings. Hand to mouth.
Nor through lack of effort on my behalf and a very sad realisation that for things to greatly improve, two incomes are needed.

paap1975 Fri 08-Jun-18 15:38:22

Yes, and I did until I moved in with DH 4 years ago (aged 40). We had each bought property on our own (we're both still paying for them). But neither of us is financially dependent on the other. It's the way I was brought up. I was always expected to do school, university, job. No alternative for being a girl

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