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Things that the telly has lied to me about...

(231 Posts)
Pinkyponkcustard Wed 06-Jun-18 16:12:14

...well misrepresented.

Following on from the thread where many medics came on and said that in real life resuscitation and the process of restarting a heart is brutal and has a much lower success rate than casualty would have us think. I got thinking about all the things that telly has “lied” about.

Mine would be labour and birth. You never ever see anyone induced on telly but it happens to loads of people!

Kursk Wed 06-Jun-18 16:14:45

Petrol and gas cylinders do not explode when you shoot it. We have tried!!!

Thosewhomatterdontm1nd Wed 06-Jun-18 16:17:55

Waking up with immaculate hair and make up.

Flexoset Wed 06-Jun-18 16:18:51

Most women keep their bra on during sex.

ShotsFired Wed 06-Jun-18 16:19:48

How to eat yoghurt (and how to open it without getting spurted)

MardAsSnails Wed 06-Jun-18 16:19:58

That one off / first time sex with a new man is always hot, steamy, so fantastic all the time and not at all awkward, and nobody of course worries about cleaning up afterwards or about their lumpy bits.

vampirethriller Wed 06-Jun-18 16:23:49

Orgasms are always mutual
Nobody outside of Call the Midwife has a placenta

cubscout Wed 06-Jun-18 16:26:18

You can afford the rent on a large Victorian terrace in London on a cleaners wage. Or 6 of you can live in a small Manchester terrace

Pinkyponkcustard Wed 06-Jun-18 16:26:48

Ha! You’re so right there’s never been a placenta on eastenders!

Pinkyponkcustard Wed 06-Jun-18 16:29:06

And the housing thing! If the people in eastenders sold up they could leave their miserable lives and buy a huge des res with a pool everywhere else!

Screaminginsideme Wed 06-Jun-18 16:30:08

Bra on during sex- do you mean that’s what telly shows or what happens IRL.
I think most women take their bra off as soon as the can.

Lies include - it’s easy to get over being cheated on.
People should be having sex after dating a couple of times.
Forensic teams get involved in investigations and get to make arrests.

WhenEnoughIsEnough Wed 06-Jun-18 16:31:19

That every house hold ever owns a washing machine but they never ever use it. They all use the laundrettes or have everything dry cleaned. Why don't they either use the damn thing or sell it?

Pinkyponkcustard Wed 06-Jun-18 16:32:11

And no one ever has a bit of their tea on their tops!

BluthsFrozenBananas Wed 06-Jun-18 16:32:59

Labour always starts with waters breaking

vampirethriller Wed 06-Jun-18 16:35:02

You can decide to visit someone in prison and just turn up the same day
Serious drug addictions can be gotten over in about a week

StaySafe Wed 06-Jun-18 16:35:22

It is not necessary to lock your car

DontThinkTwice1 Wed 06-Jun-18 16:35:59

That no one ever needs tissue/goes to the bathroom/laughs about who has to sleep in the wet patch after sex. They just cuddle up and go to sleep or she just gets up, puts her nickers/clothes on and goes out the room.

DGRossetti Wed 06-Jun-18 16:37:43

restarting a heart

I was under the impression nothing can restart a stopped heart. You can defibrillate - but that's not a stopped heart.

?????

ProudThrilledHappy Wed 06-Jun-18 16:41:37

Women experience instant pleasure from penetration, even without foreplay.

All it takes to make a frumpy woman more attractive is a bit of make up, a nicer dress and removing their glasses. Suddenly they become a supermodel. (Tried chucking my glasses away but walked into a door frame and ended up with an inflated red nose. Definitely not an improvement)

ShotsFired Wed 06-Jun-18 16:45:22

Any time you need to visit a shop, place of business, party, wake - anything that is likely to be busy or crowded - there will be a huge empty parking space right outside the front door just waiting for you, usually alongside hordes of people who have all had to park miles away, trudging to the same location.

Pebblespony Wed 06-Jun-18 16:46:59

Sex on tv is just setting people up for a whole load of disappointment. Wet patch, him accidentally pulling your hair, condom packet being tricky to open etc.
Also, as a horse rider, it amuses me to see people galloping everywhere on their horse. The horse would be knackered in a few mins.

nowshesaturtle Wed 06-Jun-18 16:49:51

Babies sleep about 22.5 hours a day. Toddlers play quietly with toys for hours.

<bitter>

ILoveMyDressingGown Wed 06-Jun-18 16:50:39

You can just walk up and bugger off when you're decide to leave. No fannying about changing gas suppliers or whatever.

halcyondays Wed 06-Jun-18 16:52:46

On telly as soon as a pregnant woman starts having contractions, somebody yells "call an ambulance"

If you live in a soap you can still go to the pub every night even though you have young children and a minimum wage job.

Pebblespony Wed 06-Jun-18 16:54:03

If there's a murder in a village, things will just carry on as normal. 3 people gruesomly murdered in a 2km radius by an unknown madman and the village fete will go ahead. If 3 people were killed in the county in this manner irl the place would shut down.

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