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Half term with teenagers.....anyone else feel this way?

(61 Posts)
Alternativefacts Sat 26-May-18 10:04:07

Finding it so hard these days to find anything to do together as a family, DS1 13, DS2 17. They spend hours online and even suggesting going out for a meal together is met with resistance, would rather play fortnite! I can and sometimes do insist but that is double edged. If they don’t want to then why am I doing it? I just feel we should do some stuff occasionally together and it really gets me down. But then I struggle to think of things we would all enjoy these days....so , tell me, can anyone relate to this? But also do you have suggestions of fun stuff to do as a family with teenage boys - one sporty , one definitely not!

Sophiesdog11 Sat 26-May-18 10:07:15

Are those the correct ages, as its weird calling the youngest DS1?

OfNicholasPants Sat 26-May-18 10:08:53

I feel exactly the same. sad

last time we went to the beach, it really showed how hopeless that is now. It.was.awful.

I'll be watching with interest, for any ideas.

littlegreyhare Sat 26-May-18 10:09:20

Ds1 is 13 yrs old how is that weird?

littlegreyhare Sat 26-May-18 10:10:14

Same here btw re doing stuff with teens. It is all sleeping and gaming sadly.

lljkk Sat 26-May-18 10:12:08

Do you have to do stuff all together? Can't you have 1-to-1 time? Treat them as individuals.

Sorry you can't coax them both out for a pizza. Expensive & I don't like pizza, but most people do.

AvonCallingBarksdale Sat 26-May-18 10:13:16

Sophie what an odd post - what point are you making?? Maybe OP made a typo confused Still pretty clear what they mean.
OP sympathies - my DC are younger so still semi keen, but watching with interest.

museumum Sat 26-May-18 10:13:18

Because ds1 usually means first born son? How can ds2 be older??

ScrubTheDecks Sat 26-May-18 10:13:28

I just facilitate them to do things with their friends. Give the 13 year old and 3 mates a loft to the bowling alley, book a game and leave them there. Ask them if they want to invite friends round? Surely the 17 yo is off with friends?

Then go out for one while-family day at the weekend. Theme park / cinema and Wahaca / National Trust / Go Ape / fish and chips at seaside, whatever is your style.

inchoccyheaven Sat 26-May-18 10:18:10

Mine are and have been the same for years. They are almost 16 and 18 now. Like you say even going for a meal is met with resistance.
I don't have any answers as everything i suggest isn't wanted. We did use to play board games for a while which was nice.

Yogagirl123 Sat 26-May-18 10:23:40

I understand completely my DS1 is 16 nearly 17 DS2 15, yes not interested in family days out, we can just about interest them to lunch out now and then, DS1 plays golf so he is at the golf club most of the time. DS2 computer mad! Not interested in sport whatsoever.

When we go on holiday they will agree to visit new places and enjoy it, but everything local is boring in their mind!

I think it is just being teenagers.

VioletCharlotte Sat 26-May-18 10:27:34

I know exactly what you mean! My DS are nearly 19 and 17 now, so the last couple of years I've not bothered booking half term off, unless there's things I want to do. I remember a few years ago having a week off and spending most of it just me and the dog. Boys were either out with their mates, asleep, or plugged into the Xbox.

BeyondThePage Sat 26-May-18 10:28:34

DD15 GCSE year here - revision will be high on the agenda. Trip to the cinema - with popcorn and slushy as a treat perhaps.

New shoes needed for prom, DD15 will go off with her mates and buy a totally unsuitable pair. will also have friends round doing the full prom outfit/makeup/hair planning.

DD17 will be asleep, doing art project work, or out.

We usually do cinema together once a month, board games once a week/fortnight (often with "extra" teenagers as they all seem to enjoy a bit of cluedo!) and a meal out once a month.

That is enough "family stuff" for my 2.

Peterrabbitscarrots Sat 26-May-18 10:29:52

I hear you. I’ve started asking my DS what he would like to do - he likes me bringing him into town, having a browse round HMV then a meal in Cosmo or Nando’s. He hates a big family meal out though, especially Sunday roast type places.

I’ve found that offering for him to bring a friend opens up more options. We are going to a big family park type place on Monday with 2 of his mates, where they can do mini golf, water zorbing, adventure playground and miniature railway. He wouldn’t be seen dead there though if it was just him and me/DH

DelurkingAJ Sat 26-May-18 10:32:58

I’m thinking back and I’m certain that as a teenager (with an infinitely cooler DSis three years younger) that we did almost nothing as a family in the holidays at home. We did go out to eat very happily though.

Noboozeforme Sat 26-May-18 10:35:16

I don't take all of half terms off anymore but do take 2 days off and have something planned. We are going to Brighton this half term at DC request.. zip wire, ice creams and fair rides.

8FencingWire Sat 26-May-18 10:40:25

We’ve come to the countryside. I’m having breakfast in the garden, the teenager is inside on the ipad 🙄. There’s wifi i the garden: not interested.
I brought no food, we HAVE to walk to the pub (evil mother).

twofloorsup Sat 26-May-18 10:42:02

I only have 2 left at home now.
DS(15) is revising like a crazy thing and DD(13) is quite happy pottering about amusing herself.

I find the only thing we all do together is visit family but they both enjoy that and it's cheap so I'm not complaining smile

Adversecamber22 Sat 26-May-18 10:48:20

Do you not remember being a teen? I was a teen in the 1980's so a long time ago but I clearly remember preferring the company of my friends.

Teen DS and I game together ocasionally. I'm in to gaming in a serious try hard sweaty way it really helped keep a bond between us. We both play fortnite but have our own squads. So we will talk tactics, updates, dances and compare stats. He wins one in five games that is a huge win rate and puts you in top players. I beat a relatively well known streamer in another game one time that made me a bit of a hero in his eyes.

He does the park run with his Dad on a Saturday. His friends come over and they have the back room and pop in and say hi.

We are very lucky in that both DH and I share hobbies with DS.

Teenagers will communicate about what they like and talk about themselves they are generally ego centric. So ask him about fortnite, maybe say people were discussing how popular it is on MN. Ask him if you can watch him play a match to see what all the fuss is about. DH does not game, DS let him have a go, he managed to come 13th by hiding, it was hilarious watching him try and work the controller.

KeefBurtain Sat 26-May-18 10:56:55

2 teens here. Dd is nearly 15 and out with her mates. Ds is nearly 14 and on his Xbox/Nintendo in his room with his mates.
None of them want to do anything with me or each other (other than bicker)

Luckily I have ds2 11 months who wants to play with me (throw bricks at my head) so I’m not totally lonely 😞

SuperSuperSuper Sat 26-May-18 11:45:06

We don't do much together, other than watch stand-ups on tv, as well as Friday Night Dinner and Car Share.

Occasional trips to the cinema (most recently Dunkirk).

Other than that, I'm mainly the taxi service when they're sick of Fortnite and FIFA.

BigusBumus Sat 26-May-18 11:57:38

I've got 3 teen boys. confused They only want anything to do with me if it involves food, lifts or money. It used to bother me but now DH and I do more stuff just the two of us.smile

GlacindaTheTroll Sat 26-May-18 12:55:38

If the school,does not offer girls rugby, then your DD needs to be assessed via her club play. Which would be either by video, or - if this is still possible under the new spec - asking if the club she plays for has any coaches who are also secondary PE teachers who might be prepared to do the admin to assess the sport for a pupil at a different school to theirs.

She should still be able to get full marks for all the assessed criteria, which are more to do with knowledge, skill and attitude than sheer physical strength.

GlacindaTheTroll Sat 26-May-18 12:56:58

Sorry - wrong thread!!!!

Alternativefacts Sat 26-May-18 15:59:29

Thanks for all the replies.
If they were off out with friends I wouldn’t mind so much but 17 yr old has ASD and not much social life, 13 yr old would go out if his friends were up for it but often they seem to prefer playing on Xbox.
I expect I shouldn’t care so much about it and it’s part of having teenagers but I know lots of families who seem to do more together ( or maybe that’s just on Facebook!,) . Need to enjoy doing more of what me & DH enjoy I guess. Partly I feel we’ve done a rubbish job of parenting when I see them endlessly ‘plugged in’ and it just gets me down. Anyway, will try to plan just one family day this holiday and otherwise back off more. Thanks mumsnetters grin

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