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Am I right not to apologise

(53 Posts)
windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 22:18:40

DH gets in from work on his bike and needs to pick up DS from my mums but can’t find his car keys (again)
I have been in bed all day ill and being sick
He shouts up to me “where have i put them” I shout “why would I move your car keys?”
He then shouts “I will bloody walk then” I get up and go downstairs as he storms out the door. I say don’t be silly I will ring my mum and ask her to drop DS off as it’s a good 2 mile walk there and DS will be to tired after school to walk 2 miles back.
DH glares as me and says “you must have used the keys to get something out the car” and I say “i havent and why are your car keys my responsibility?”
DH and storms off so I ring my mum and ask her to drop DS off and text DH to come back (I may have included the words “don’t be an arsehole”)
My mum drops DS off with no sigh of DH

10 minutes later my mum rings me and says DH has shown up and when my mum said that DS was back home he just stormed off and did not say anything to her
Anyway he is back now and is refusing to speak to me apart from saying “I bloody walked to get him” When I replied that I knew he had heard me when I said I would ring my mum and I had also texted him and tried to ring twice he said he had not taken his phone with him.
I am blazing that somehow he has painted me as the bad guy in all of this and he has been so rude to my mum. He is now sulking like a toddler.
I just want to know in all that i have a done anything wrong

windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 22:19:48

Oh and I found the car keys in 2 minutes

NoSquirrels Wed 23-May-18 22:22:09

Leave him to sulk. He knows he's been an arse.

When he’s calmed down you can point out quite how unreasonable he is!

Hope you’re feeling better.

minimatt78 Wed 23-May-18 22:39:23

Completely agree, his stuff is not your responsibility and he should listen and if he doesn't it's his fault.

AnneLovesGilbert Wed 23-May-18 22:42:00

What a wanker. You're ill and he's acting like a brat expecting you to run around after him.

He probably knows he's being massively unreasonable, I hope so.

Ignore the strop!

Hope you feel better soon.

And he owes you and your Mum an apology.

KarmaStar Wed 23-May-18 22:43:05

You've done nothing wrong op,rest assured.
Hope you feel much better soonflowers

Mulberrysilk Wed 23-May-18 22:46:14

He's not annoyed with you, he's annoyed with himself. Let him stew.

BewareOfDragons Wed 23-May-18 22:46:45

Another man-baby who thinks it is the woman's job to keep track of his things and tell him where everything is rather than look himself.

He's a jackass and he owes you and your mum an apology.

Plasebeafleabite Wed 23-May-18 22:46:52

I had a dh like this. The answer is do not engage, his lost car keys are his problem

I appreciate it adds an extra dimension with your son but try to keep saying “sorry I don’t know” every time he asks and ideally remove yourself to another room

MilesHuntsWig Wed 23-May-18 22:47:30

He’s an idiot

FarFlungFairy Wed 23-May-18 22:48:34

What a fucking bellend manchild, dump his twat bag arse.

Imchlibob Wed 23-May-18 22:50:18

What on earth would you apologise for?
He has been an idiot, and he owes you an apology (though if he's generally better than this I might be inclined to let it slide and not insist on an apology from him so long as he isn't bleating about it himself.

Cornishclio Wed 23-May-18 22:58:54

He loses his keys and its your fault even though you have been ill all day?
He loses his temper and doesn't listen to you when you say you will ask your mum to drop DS off because he will be too tired to walk 2 miles?
He storms out and is then rude to your mum?

No, I would not apologise and would be telling him to get a grip and behave like an adult not an overgrown temperamental child. Goodness what is it with some of these men on mumsnet.

windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 23:23:30

It just drives me mad everything he loses something it’s my fault. He does it in ways like saying “how you seen this” or “have you moved this” in a snappy voice with a glare.
Usually followed by “can’t find anything in this bloody house” or even “shit hole”
It getting to the point were I have really had enough of the sulks. His stuff is quite untidy because I don’t touch it as I know what will happen.

windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 23:26:04

I know he thinks I just should have let him walk to get DS but I know that would not have ended well. It would have been DH in a mood dragging a tired DS behind him who would be playing up as he is tired and will pick up on this dads mood.
I am not sure I can do this anymore

C0untDucku1a Wed 23-May-18 23:27:20

He is a nab. Ignore him

Ruffian Wed 23-May-18 23:31:43

He sounds horrendous

bonnyshide Wed 23-May-18 23:34:05

He sounds like an angry toddler

windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 23:35:15

He does have his good points and great points but the manchild stuff is really starting to weigh me down.
He also throws things when he has a tantrum and my god the sulks

C0untDucku1a Wed 23-May-18 23:36:17

He throws things? He sulks?

Sounds like he is conditioning you to behave.

windermerebell Wed 23-May-18 23:38:14

Oh god he has just thrown his phone on the bed next to me with this thread open.
He knows I mumsnet, I should have been less identifying.
Well at least he knows how I feel now

Singlenotsingle Wed 23-May-18 23:41:09

It's amazing how many annoying, manipulative Manchildren there are around; Do they take lessons or are they born like that?! Don't indulge his nonsense. He doesn't need encouragement!

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday Wed 23-May-18 23:41:53

Maybe your DS can teach him how to be a bit more grown up grin

Singlenotsingle Wed 23-May-18 23:42:12

It's probably a good thing that he knows how you feel!

Leeds2 Wed 23-May-18 23:42:17

At the very least, he owes your mum an apology.

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