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Child Protection Plan

(45 Posts)
woopie1987 Wed 23-May-18 10:30:07

ok i have a conference meeting about my child protection came i to action because police have be called to the property on 3 occasions never said my partner has hit me we just had been arguement but SS Have said they have concern about violencethey have advised my partner to stay away from the house while the assessment is on going but after the assessment will my partner be able to visit the family home they don't live with us but they saying the children are at risk but they have never been in same room when we argue only up stairs and i know it is traumatic for a child to here this but this isn't how we really are... all i want to know is afyer the 15day risk assessment of the child protection plan will my partner be able to be around the kids and the home if not there is no point in relationship because i have all ways got kids on me this isn't fair at all i love my partner so much and isn't a risk to my children

Catfacecats Wed 23-May-18 10:33:54

Ditch him. If not, and you’re priotising him, a violent man, over your children then social services will rightly stay involved.

woopie1987 Wed 23-May-18 10:37:03

he has never been violent that is the issue we just had arguments thats is all

Tutlefru Wed 23-May-18 10:38:28

Who called the police?

OrchidInTheSun Wed 23-May-18 10:38:45

Who called the police?

EB123 Wed 23-May-18 10:41:05

If you have been having such agressive arguements that the police have been called then perhaps it is not a good relationship, it is not normal to have the police called.

fleshmarketclose Wed 23-May-18 10:44:20

If the police have been called to your arguments why on earth do you want him around you or your children?

WeirdyMcBeardy Wed 23-May-18 10:44:57

Oh, you are one of those parents whose partner means more than their children. See them all the time at work. SS wouldn't be involved for nothing, they are very stretched as it is and frequently won't take cases on that should be. If you want to protect your children, you need to show you are willing to put them first by ditching your partner. But it doesn't sound like you are willing to do that.

woopie1987 Wed 23-May-18 10:45:24

a neighbour heard the arguement

Byebyebye Wed 23-May-18 10:45:29

If you have arguments that escalate to police involvement you definitely need to be assessed by SS.

I was a child that lived in a house like this. Just because they aren’t in the same room doesn’t mean it’s not fucking terrifying. I was on edge as a child waiting for it to kick off. As an adult I still get scared when people show any form of upset or anger.

Put your children over this ‘relationship’. A toxic environment is no place for a child to grow up in.

And don’t tell yourself it’s okay because all couples argue. Not like this they don’t.

wowbutter Wed 23-May-18 10:48:05

Arguments like that are not okay.
If you put your partner first and stay with m, you don't deserve to have your children.
Witnessing arguments like that mess children up, for life. I have been that child and wish my parents could have stopped it. We lived in the middle of nowhere, so no neighbours to help.
After the assessment , you should keep your children safe and ditch your partner until he had completed an anger management course, and you have too. This isn't how adults should behave. The children come first, not your boyfriend.

Tutlefru Wed 23-May-18 10:48:19

For your neighbour to of called they must of been concerned...

If the police have had to call to your property 3 times then SS are right to have concerns.

He doesn't have to be violent to be considered a risk I don't think, Children growing up in volatile households isn't great.

woopie1987 Wed 23-May-18 10:53:50

three times we have argued is because of me and cheating and my mouth im not saying it's all his fault but you are right my kids do come first just hard when u love someone

HappyLollipop Wed 23-May-18 10:57:46

Who do you love more, your partner or kids? Because your going to have to make a decision, surely no man is worth risking losing your children over. It's not normal to have arguments that escalate to the point of the police being called once nevermind three times, your neighbour must have been extremely worried about you and the children. Being a mother means putting your children's needs above your own and your doing untold damage to your children by being in such a volatile relationship, Follow whatever steps the SS ask of you and if that means leaving him then so be it.

EB123 Wed 23-May-18 10:58:21

Surely the police being called once would be enough to make you both realise it was unacceptable? I would have been mortified.

WeirdyMcBeardy Wed 23-May-18 11:19:44

No it's not hard. Your children should come first. You clearly didn't learn the first time.

user1493413286 Wed 23-May-18 11:22:50

They will expect you to do work towards improving your relationship and understanding of the impact of arguments on children.
I think you need to think of your children first and how they are feeling within this.

woopie1987 Wed 23-May-18 11:26:26

my child love my partner thats why it is so hard but if the children are suffering i have no choice but to choose my kids 100% all i was askinghas anyone every had this and how does the meeting go will they say my partner will have to stay away from us

incywincybitofa Wed 23-May-18 11:29:07

Seriously you say you love him but you cheat? Or he cheats, you fight so loudly the police are called and they come and they express concerns to SS, and you think this guy is worth jeopordising your kids over.
You might not be whacking each other but you don't actually seem to consider how frightening it is for your children for you to be in this relationship.

LifeBeginsAtGin Wed 23-May-18 11:29:29

You don't sound remorseful or embarrassed by the situation which is concerning.

wowbutter Wed 23-May-18 11:31:08

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Wellthisunexpected Wed 23-May-18 11:32:59

To answer you r question will he be able to visit once the assessment is over depends on what they find during the assessment. It sounds as though you don't understand the emotional impact that hearing such arguments has on children's development and that this could be emotional abuse. Whether he can visit will depend on whether SS feel you can keep them safe. If you don't understand how harmful the bad arguments are, it suggests you can't keep them safe and so would need to see your partner without the children if you continue to remain in a relationship with him.

fleshmarketclose Wed 23-May-18 11:43:38

Is your partner the father of your children? If so they may suggest supervised contact,if he isn't then you should make sure that you end the relationship and never set eyes on him again and ask about parenting classes and the freedom programme so that you don't repeat the same mistakes.

IJustHadToNameChange Wed 23-May-18 11:47:26

Screaming arguments so loud that the neighbours are calling the police is emotional abuse.

Just because it's all verbal and not physical doesn't mean the children aren't being emotionally and psychologically harmed.

Leaving your children in fear is not looking after them.

WeirdyMcBeardy Wed 23-May-18 11:50:06

Tbh you sound like the worse parent here....

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