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Anyone have wedding regrets?

(49 Posts)
tigercub50 Mon 21-May-18 22:29:22

Not the actual marriage but the day itself. DH & I have talked about it & we would have done a few things differently ( although some things couldn’t really be changed as DM & DF were paying). The venue, for example. We did have a nice hotel but I would have loved one nearby which was just that bit more upmarket. It wasn’t that much more per head but DM insisted on the cheaper one. It actually turned out that the whole thing cost a lot less than she thought.
I probably wouldn’t have had a line up as it took forever & I wouldn’t have booked the disco, as there were quite a few older guests & people weren’t that bothered. We had a late afternoon wedding so could just have done our own thing after the ceremony & reception.
I’d have picked a different menu as we got pink chicken & bizarrely orange beef!

annandale Mon 21-May-18 22:34:05

Oh some.

Wish we'd done the original plan tbh - 10 people at Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons.

Actually with hindsight I would change almost everything about it - but in fact it was still a great day. So ah well.

Bloodybridget Mon 21-May-18 22:35:55

DP and I had a very low key civil partnership. With hindsight, I would have checked that there was actually somewhere nice to have tea and cake nearby afterwards, instead of half of the party (DP, one witness and a toddler) coming back to our house while the other half (me and second witness) had a quick trawl round Tesco to buy something to take home. In fact, the whole thing was kind of grim.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Mon 21-May-18 22:44:10

Yes wish I’d never done it.

Not the marriage, but I wanted it very low key, just parents and sibs. Mum gave me money to ‘do it right’ and I ended up upsetting her because I invited the wrong cousins.

Plus, I got a migraine, and all my guests stayed out and got pissed while we went home with the kids.

AvoidingDM Mon 21-May-18 23:07:28

I wish I had been stronger and said NO to friends of the IL's who I'd never seen before or since.
Couple of friends of ours who we've become closer to since and wish we'd given them all day invites instead of evening invites.

Other than those I'm happy how our day went.
Incidently we dropped the line-up on the day. I wasn't sure of the "formal" nature of it. Our hotel said to allow 30 secs per person - 100 people is almost an hour shock - we were running slightly later than planned so we didn't do it.

Sausagema Mon 21-May-18 23:19:56

I had a 9 month old. Everyone said "oh we will all pitch in". they didn't. I ended up being super stressed and actually wanting to go home at one point because of the demands of being a bride and having to look after a baby and put her to bed. But hey, DM had people to talk to......
Overall we had such a happy day but now I know why people get married before kids!
Wish it had been as.small as we originally wanted.

acornsandnuts Mon 21-May-18 23:23:54

Hated my wedding day. I was string armed into everything by DH and MIL with the exception of my dress.

PianoThirty Mon 21-May-18 23:33:18

Keep it simple! Ours is this summer and it’a already doing my head in: budget exceeded massively, too many guests invited, then panicking because too few can actually come.

I wish I’d gone for a simple registry office affair followed by a nice family meal in a posh restaurant. Instead it’s nearly midnight and I’m replying to emails from our wedding planner about the choice of font to print our dinner menus.

Also echo the tip about maybe not bothering with an evening disco. If the wedding starts at midday, then by 10pm most people are ready to call it a night.

Duprasi Mon 21-May-18 23:40:49

Yes I wouldn't have had half Dhs family there don't speak to us that's fine but don't expect an invite.

I didn't like the venue but Pil paid it was a nice pub but I would rather the local hall and be able to have had more friends invited we were very limited on guests

I would not have had guests staying at ours, hotel if there's ever a next time killed the mood when we got home

I'm allergic to most flowers but have a thing for moth orchids mil surprised me with awful silk orchids on the table it would've been cheaper and much nicer to have popped to Sainsbury's and got a few if their £8 ones one for each table

SingingSands Mon 21-May-18 23:41:11

Loads, buts that’s life and hindsight!

It was a great day and family were happy, but it wasn’t really how I’d envisaged it.

Actually, just remembered a huge family drama that unfolded, I’d not thought about it in ages!

Duprasi Mon 21-May-18 23:42:39

Oh and the date it was very important to me to have the wedding on x date but it was a Wednesday it was the only thing I was adamant on and everyone overruled me

NeedForBlossom Mon 21-May-18 23:45:44

No, but everyone said I would.

No white dress, no one invited (apart from 2 lovely ladies from the old people's home opposite). Had a photographer and my hair and nails done.

It was bliss. Went off on honeymoon the day after.

20 years married next year. It was definitely about the marriage not the wedding for me ( probably because my parents were divorced ).

BackforGood Mon 21-May-18 23:50:43

No, we had a lovely day.
I guess if I were doing it today, there might be things I'd do a different way - fashions change, expectations change, indeed, technology changes - but I have absolutely no regrets.

Colonelpopcorn Mon 21-May-18 23:57:18

Yes! Wish I hadn’t been so unusually shy.
Still can’t make my mind up how I feel about my dress.
In hindsight I would have nipped off and married dh on a beach somewhere.

I married a wonderful man though and we couldn’t be happier.

YerDaSellsAvon Tue 22-May-18 00:10:28

I loved my wedding day. I was heavily pregnant and just wanted to put on a nice outfit, go to the registry office with close family and friends and then for a posh(ish) meal. My mum wanted a big family do and I didnt. It ended up being incredibly simple but lovely. We got married, fil took photos, guests came to the pub for a buffet and champagne toast, the cake was from Asda (their specially selected iced fruit cake in 3 sizes 😂) mil bought me a bouquet and buttonholes. My mums mate DJ'd and got the karaoke out. My best mate did my hair. We only had the room til 5pm. Me and dh went to a nice hotel for the night. Our guests stayed on at the pub and no doubt gave them a good day in takings. Afterwards we were told that people loved how relaxed it was. The only thing I regret is the god awful gold pantsuit I wore. I looked like a bastard genie.

DrCoconut Tue 22-May-18 00:24:20

If I could go back, the main thing I'd change is the groom 😂

tigercub50 Tue 22-May-18 17:47:53


AliceAir Tue 22-May-18 18:08:56

Few things I’d change.

First my dress. I saw one I loved in an American magazine. My dm spent half her time in USA in those days so we debated whether she should buy the dress, bring it back and we’d have it altered. Or ask a local dressmaker to copy the picture in the magazine. We went for the latter option, and although all the components were there, I never liked it.

Second wouldn’t have allowed the vicar to officiate if we’d known that just a few months later he’d be jailed for paedophilic.

Third wouldn’t have allowed my FIL to break into song (constantly) at the reception.

But we had a very very happy marriage and it did in fact last until death did us part sad (Dh, not me. Obviously!).

AliceAir Tue 22-May-18 18:11:45

Had another wedding too but the lesssaid about that whole marriage the better!

catlover1987 Tue 22-May-18 18:13:46

The only thing I would have changed was my hair. We got married abroad and I didn't bother with a trial. Hated the up do I got, so pulled it all out. Everyone else thought it looked fine but whenever I look at the pics, I just think my hair looks like rats tails.

catlover1987 Tue 22-May-18 18:13:47

The only thing I would have changed was my hair. We got married abroad and I didn't bother with a trial. Hated the up do I got, so pulled it all out. Everyone else thought it looked fine but whenever I look at the pics, I just think my hair looks like rats tails.

Cleanerswin Tue 22-May-18 18:14:03

I’d have a proper wedding with family, friends, everyone, not a rushed registry office one with just a couple of XDHs mates as witnesses and pub after. It wasn’t romantic or edgy or anything it was just sad. We went for an evening meal at a restaurant miles away, I didn’t find out till later that it had been where he’d met his ex. They’re now back together. How sweet.

Lollypop27 Tue 22-May-18 18:24:35

I’ve jokingly said to Dh that I want to it again now there is Pinterest wink

In all honestly I wish that we would of stuck to our original plan of just going to a registry office during the week and a drink after. Instead my mum and mil kicked up an almighty stink and they had the wedding of their dreams. Admittedly they paid for it so we felt we couldn’t refuse but it was awful. We didn’t know half of the guests as they had invited their friends. Ds was 8 months old and they promised to look after him but they were too busy having a jolly with their friends.

I used to be bitter about it. I felt cheated that it wasnt about Dh and I but about them. Not anymore though as the marriage has definitely made up for it.

Fatted Tue 22-May-18 18:24:51

We had a lovely day and are still happily married 9 years on. But I honestly wish we didn't bother with the big wedding and just had something small and simple. I remember at the time there being so much stress about organizing it, but now I look back and realise just how trivial it all was. It didn't help my mum did her usual trying to take over everything. We also had lots of friends getting married around the same time and I did feel like it was a bit competitive at times.

The money we spend on getting married, we could have used as a deposit towards a house, which I'd much rather have about now!

CigarsofthePharoahs Tue 22-May-18 18:42:58

I wish we'd aimed smaller. I also wish I'd realised that all the people who offered to help do things didn't really mean it.
Ended up stressed and a bit disappointed with some things.
Also wish (and so does DH) that we'd not invited his relatives as they all turned up with faces like slapped arses and then vanished shortly into the reception as we'd requested no smoking inside. This was pre smoking ban.

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