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Can school nursery refuse child in nappys

(175 Posts)
Fuckit2017 Sun 20-May-18 09:39:58

Hi d's is 3. He's due to start the school nursery is September. He's not yet potty trained. I have tried but he's just not getting it. I will keep trying between now and September. But if it's does not happen can they refuse him or maybe ask me to go in and do nappy changes? He's having assessments for special needs.

twolittleboysonetiredmum Sun 20-May-18 09:41:03

God no! They used to but it’s discrimination. Make sure they’re well aware obviously but he’s allowed to start school regardless.

hidinginthenightgarden Sun 20-May-18 09:42:32

It isn't school it is pre-school. Plenty of kids aren't potty trained at 3.
It will be fine.

Fuckit2017 Sun 20-May-18 10:11:36

Thank you. Fingers crossed then.

gnarlington Sun 20-May-18 10:13:58

Has someone told you they can't start in nappies??

SusanDelfino Sun 20-May-18 10:15:26

Our nursery doesn't take them in nappies.

Fuckit2017 Sun 20-May-18 10:17:23


Has someone told you they can't start in nappies??

Yes the school did

TeenTimesTwo Sun 20-May-18 10:19:34

My suggestion would be to not keep trying, but have a break in June & July, and then try again in August.
If not, he'll probably get it quite quickly in nursery (if he is actually ready) as he will want to be like the other children.

DisturblinglyOrangeScrambleEgg Sun 20-May-18 10:22:11

In another country, they firmly told us that DS2 couldn't start in nappies, and I was really worried, because he showed no sign of being ready. By the other end of summer, he was fine, it just clicked. BUT, he couldn't physically reach to wipe his bum, so continued to need help with it (which seems fine to me at 3!)

DS1 went in the UK, and there was no talk of refusing him, and he was wearing nappies for longer, and found potty training much harder (although luckily was a very routine poo-er, so it was just wees at least, so the cleanup wasn't too bad for accidents!)

Especially if he has special needs, I would hope that they will make reasonable adjustments - perhaps book a meeting with them if it gets towards the start date and he's not getting there?

MrsWombat Sun 20-May-18 10:23:24

On the nursery class admission guidance for my local authority it states that schools will not accept children who are not "clean and dry". However, I know that my sons school, and the school I work in are more flexible, have nappy bins and expect accidents too. I think they have to be realistic that there is a very good chance that a child who turns 3 on August 31st isn't going to be toilet trained when they start school on September 4th. (or whenever the start date is)

meadowofflowers Sun 20-May-18 10:25:00

The pre school said my DCs could start any time after 3rd birthday as long as they were potty trained. They were not allowed to wear nappies

4GreenApples Sun 20-May-18 10:30:44

When we first looked around the school nursery DS2 currently attends, the teacher told us that they weren’t allowed to refuse admission to children who aren’t toilet trained (Although they clearly prefer children to be toilet trained if possible).

Apparently it can count as disability discrimination, as disabilities that affect toileting aren’t always apparent or diagnosed by 3-4 yrs old.

AlexanderHamilton Sun 20-May-18 10:33:31

They may try & say they can but they can’t as developmental delay is a disability.

YoucancallmeVal Sun 20-May-18 10:34:34

Technically they are not supposed to refuse children who aren't dry. However, in recent years this has gone from being the odd child to half the class, which is very difficult to manage in a school nursery as they rarely have changing facilities and are very low on staff.
Op all you can do is try!

PurplePotatoes Sun 20-May-18 10:35:47

My friend's DD goes to school nursery and they didn't take children who were still in nappies. However her DD had a medical problem so they were flexible in her case.

mygrandchildrenrock Sun 20-May-18 10:37:29

It isn't pre-school if it's a school nursery class. They ought not to refuse a child in nappies but some still do. They are in a staffing ratio of 1:13 so when one staff member is changing, the other person will have 25 children to look after which is why they like the children toilet trained. Children in pre-schools and day nurseries will be in a ratio of 1:8 which makes things easier.
Like someone else has suggested, don't keep trying but leave it till August when he'll be older and it might just click.

MollyDaydream Sun 20-May-18 10:38:59

Legally they're on dodgy ground to refuse a child in nappies as it could be disability discrimination, however they can set an expectation that children are toilet trained.

School nurseries often have low adult ratios eg teacher and ta for 26 children so nappy changing can be practically difficult.
Day nurseries that have 3 nursery nurses for 24 children might be better able to provide extra care.

melissasummerfield Sun 20-May-18 10:44:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Eastie77 Sun 20-May-18 10:45:18

My daughter's school nursery clearly states children must be toilet trained prior to admittance. They have a list of other requirements (e.g. child must be able to put their coat on, dress unaided). I questioned them about this when we applied - DD was fully trained but I was curious - and they simply said they do not accept children in nappies. I assume this wouldn't apply if there was a developmental delay.

To be honest, after speaking to a few friends I think it's pretty much the norm for school nurseries. Private ones are different of course.

memememe Sun 20-May-18 10:47:56

you can send him in nappies. at 3.5 the likelihood that he will need changing in the 3 hrs that hes there for are slim. you'll know when he usually poops, so hopefully thats not at 10.30 in the morning. if it is then they can deal with it.

he'll prob get it over he summer anyway so no need to worry xx

PoliticalBiscuit Sun 20-May-18 10:50:37

Melissa, embarrassed? I can think of plenty of things my children do to embarrass me (WHY do they always want to open a toilet door in a public restroom?) But them toilet training unto their own personal needs is not one of the fucks I would give. Can't believe you're even asking.

They're THREE! It's a preschool setting, not graduate school.

MollyDaydream Sun 20-May-18 10:50:47

melissa, often children with additional needs take a little longer to potty train, it isn't embarrassing confused

PeonyTruffle Sun 20-May-18 10:51:20

My DS started at a school pre school last September (he starts R this sept)

He HAD to be potty trained (unless SN) they wouldn't take unless dry, obviously accidents happen with little ones which they deal with but they weren't prepared to deal with nappies. Which I think is fair enough, one teacher and a TA with 30 kids, they can't be nipping off to change a nappy.

We started potty training him around May when he was given his place and he was reliably dry by the time he started

PeonyTruffle Sun 20-May-18 10:52:14

And he is an August baby so he turned 3 end of Aug and started at pre school in the September

Bobbybobbins Sun 20-May-18 10:55:07


Both my children have SN and will probably be going to school in nappies. I have stopped feeling embarrassed and try to feel proud about any progress they make, however small.

There are lots of reasons that children may be later with toilet training. Try not to be judgemental.

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