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Does anyone's baby boomer parents just not understand buying a house nowadays?

(312 Posts)
TheAgonyofHouseBuying Fri 20-Apr-18 19:30:08

DH and I have scrimped and saved and we've only just squeaked enough money for a deposit.

While we're lucky to have it, we'd be buying a different house if we won the lottery!

I took my mum with me to view a new build estate today and could have tied her to a fencepost. She genuinely cannot understand why we're not buying a 4 bedroom detached villa with an orchard and road frontage.


TSSDNCOP Fri 20-Apr-18 19:33:55

Nope it’s your mum. Mine thinks it’s hotrendous that both DH and I have to work, but equally her and DDad broke their backs to pay for my childhood home. I did by think you can drop all boomers in the same bucket.

SandysMam Fri 20-Apr-18 19:34:03

Totally agree. My in laws go on about how we need a dining room, and about getting planning permission for extensions. They don’t seem to understand that we can barely afford the tiny house we live in, and it’s not through choice that we don’t have more room. Congratulations on your deposit, enjoy your new tiny and a bit shit but all yours home grin

Blerg Fri 20-Apr-18 19:34:23

COngrats on the deposit!

Mine are a bit older than boomer, they do understand to some extent, but I think they struggle to see why we don’t save more... Many tales of overtime and living off one wage and saving the other. They don’t seem to understand this isn’t as feasible as it once was - we need income from both to live, and overtime for DH is not acknowledged let alone paid. No time for a second job either.

AornisHades Fri 20-Apr-18 19:38:30

I was slightly surprised when my normally liberal parents did the young people spending their money rather than saving for a deposit thing a few weeks ago.
Turned out that as well as over egging how much people could save, they'd forgotten to factor in the multiples of salary you'd need in large parts of the country. I'd need 10x my salary now to buy the house I bought for 3x my salary in the 90s.

TheAgonyofHouseBuying Fri 20-Apr-18 19:39:13

enjoy your new tiny and a bit shit but all yours home


Still looking for it! Trying to get the best outcome, so much to decide about moving further away and balancing the commute etc.

grasspigeons Fri 20-Apr-18 19:40:38

my parents are really realistic and shake their head in woe at my nieces struggles to buy a home saying how hard it is - and my mum had a ridiculously tough late teen/early adulthood including being homeless at one point

my parents in law however...... They kept saying how if you get a big loan out , it will seem big for a year or two but then inflation will eat at it and wages will rise and the loan will just seem really small in just a and then you can remortgage and improve your home. Erm - we've had pay freezes for around 7 years now so there haven't been any wage rises, and inflation doesn't seem to have made our loan look really small compared to the loan we took out 7 years ago. It still looks really big coming out of the bank each month.

TheSpottedZebra Fri 20-Apr-18 19:41:03

If you stopped buying coffees you'd you'd be able to afford a house. That generation had to scrimp and save for years to afford a house.

^Says my mum, quite often.

Idontmeanto Fri 20-Apr-18 19:42:09

My in-laws are elderly rather than boomers. They really don’t get it at all. They have often offered to “help” us get on the housing ladder but their idea of help was an order of magnitude under what it would take. They also really don’t understand the cost of childcare relative to income. We were lucky. Fil’s sister did get it, didn’t have her own children and very, very kindly left us her 2 bedroomed cottage when she passed. The only way we could have ever afforded to buy a family home in the south on our public sector salaries. I loved that auntie-in-law. Always stood up for me when mil started bitching about me doing low-paid, school hours jobs while the kids were young, which mil was quite sure was what the problem was.

RaindropsAndSparkles Fri 20-Apr-18 19:44:06

Hmm. As a baby boomer parent my first flat had no central heating, i had deckchairs rather than furniture for a year, no carpets for two. I had to decline wedding invitations because the budget didn't stretch. No TV either. Very little after work expenses were paid and mostly in the 80s interest rates were 12%. It wasn't all a bundle of joy.

Our 23 year old son has glided easily through uni, has saved £6k working this year and is about to glide into a masters funded by us.

Renting is also much easier than forty years ago.

I think it's swings and roundabouts and there's about to be a market correction with wage increases and a stagnant housing market. Brexit may yet be the friend of the young.

littleducks Fri 20-Apr-18 19:44:54

Mother in law like this. If I say house prices have gone up making it impossible to get a mortgage she says people used to earn less. They bought their first house cash outright.

TheAgonyofHouseBuying Fri 20-Apr-18 19:44:56

Mum keeps saying 'Why don't you look in X neighbourhood? I saw a lovely house up for sale there'.

Because I'm not a millionaire mum!

Scribblegirl Fri 20-Apr-18 19:49:37

I think I have the opposite problem. Mum and dad routinely say how brilliant it is that we've managed to buy after they've read so much in the press about 'kids' being unable to. However they're pinning us against their first places. Yes we've all done the shit flat in a bad part of town, but the difference is they bought at 23 and by the time they had us at 30 had graduated up to the lovely house. We're already 30 so our 'crap first flat' looks like where we'll be raising our kids too sad

Not griping as I know we've done well to get on the ladder but unless we put off children until we're 40, our opportunities to trade up while we have disposable income are basically zilch. Add the stagnant market in too...

IvorHughJarrs Fri 20-Apr-18 19:52:21

DH and I are right at the end of the baby boom, we are certainly not unsympathetic and have helped all of our children with housing in one way or another.
Equally DH and I have lived far more frugally at times than any of our children would so, although I don't believe the "cut out coffee and save a deposit" malarkey, I can see how some older people might swallow it, not realising the size of deposits needed now

BothersomeCrow Fri 20-Apr-18 19:54:12

My parents (older than boomer by 5-10 years) didn't understand and were shocked we were planning to buy an ex-council flat. "Why don't you buy a nice semi in Chiswick?"
Sadly they didn't have a spare 3/4 million they'd forgotten to mention. They then thought we ought to buy a suburban townhouse like I grew up in rather than that expensive London. Thankfully I could prove with Zoopla that it would be even more expensive and my dad understood about multiples of salary, but my mum still thinks we should be having more foreign holidays etc. (not that I begrudge them having so many now they've retired, but wish she'd shut up...)

Elledouble Fri 20-Apr-18 20:00:46

No, my parents get it. My partner and I bought our first house when I was 29, so young by today’s standards. They had a tough time financially in the 90s, although they had owned their own home since the early 80s and could still afford for only my dad to work. My mom works with enough younger people to know how hard it is now. They reminded me when I got excited about paying off my student loan how much longer my younger siblings would be paying theirs. They’re pretty switched on, my mom and dad.

Glitteryfrog Fri 20-Apr-18 20:03:23

Mine understand the saving and buying somewhere small etc.
But don't understand that remortgaging is something which is done now or why we'd want to do it.

SpectacularAardvark Fri 20-Apr-18 20:03:26

My parents get it but older relatives were horrified that we were buying a tiny terraced house with no parking or garden. Obviously it's not our dream property but it's the best we could afford and we are quite pleased actually. hmm

TheAgonyofHouseBuying Fri 20-Apr-18 20:05:08

I can only hope that I'm lecturing DD about the garrett with no heating I lived in as a student as she cash-buys her first home.

(Is that the signpost for cloud cuckoo land over there?)

Squashpocket Fri 20-Apr-18 20:06:47

My baby boomer DM gets it, but DH's parents sound like yours. When we were looking at buying our-- ugly as sin-- ---- house they asked us why we wouldn't look at the more attractive ones on the road. Because they cost 20% more and we can't afford it?!

They did the same to BIL and SIL when they bought their house. 'Why not get something bigger?'. Obviously they hadn't thought of that...

Almondsupreme Fri 20-Apr-18 20:07:45

Mine doesn't understand why we rent.... Because we can't save for a deposit because rent is so high so we can't afford a house so we have to keep renting.
And the bank will only lend a certain amount relative to salary. So I can't afford to buy where I work.
"Oh you mean you can't buy a house you'd like in an area you'd like?"
No, I can't buy anything anywhere within an hour commute. At which point transport costs have to be taken into account and it becomes unaffordable again

Marmablade Fri 20-Apr-18 20:08:12

In laws.

'If someone falls in love with the house what's another £100k?' shock

Undercoverbanana Fri 20-Apr-18 20:08:30

My Dad blames iPhones. I’ve no idea what they have to do with anything, but they are to blame for many of society’s ills ..... apparently.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet Fri 20-Apr-18 20:09:19

We are very fortunate that my husband is a farmer and was able to build a house himself (with his own hands, not in a "get someone in" way) in the early 1980's. However, we are quite cramped now and my bloody mother is always asking why we don't just put up an extension.
After all, my parents have (courtesy of inheritances and final salary pension schemes), so obviously it should be easy for us...

TheAgonyofHouseBuying Fri 20-Apr-18 20:09:30

they asked us why we wouldn't look at the more attractive ones on the road.


... not because you like brutalist architecture, 80s kitchens and/or black feature walls?

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