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Awkward question about a wedding invite

(58 Posts)
tectonicplates Fri 20-Apr-18 17:00:59

If someone's getting married on the first weekend of August and we haven't received an invitation yet, can we assume we're not invited? The reason I ask is because we have other options for that weekend and would need to book them fairly soon, but the wedding would take precedence if we were invited. I don't want to send them a message to ask if we're invited or not because that would be ridiculous.

I know the date of the wedding because the groom mentioned it at a party a few months ago. They came to our wedding a couple of years ago and of course I totally understand that they have lots of family to fit in. I also met the bride recently and she was talking a lot about wedding plans.

I realise nobody is entitled to an invite, but I was just wondering one way or the other.

Kannet Fri 20-Apr-18 17:04:21

There is still time to receive an invite. Risky with a "school holiday" wedding though.

Leeds2 Fri 20-Apr-18 17:06:22

I suspect they haven't sent the invites out yet! Still more than three months to go, which I think is the "norm" for these things.
Do you know anyone who would definitely be invited, so that you could ask them if they had received their invitation?

swingsandmusic Fri 20-Apr-18 17:07:07

We sent our invites out about 3 months before the wedding. I would give it another couple of weeks if your alternative plans do not need to be definitely made or booked yet.

Littlelambpeep Fri 20-Apr-18 17:07:36

Six weeks is the usual so it is possible

SadieHH Fri 20-Apr-18 17:08:23

How well do you know the couple? Are they close enough to ask? Or to chat to and drop your other option into the conversation and see if they freak wink

Bumbumtaloo Fri 20-Apr-18 17:08:51

I would say there is still time to receive an invite. Traditionally invites are supposed to be sent 6-8wks before the wedding though I think lots people send them out before, myself included.

tectonicplates Fri 20-Apr-18 17:08:59

When I met the bride recently, she mentioned something about the groom's mum replying to the invitation.

tectonicplates Fri 20-Apr-18 17:10:59

How well do you know the couple? Are they close enough to ask? Or to chat to and drop your other option into the conversation and see if they freak

I feel like they'd think I was a CF for asking. I know that when I got married, I was amazed by several people who just assumed they'd be invited.

SadieHH Fri 20-Apr-18 17:14:50

Hmm, no you can’t ask if they’d think that. Thought it might be a cousin you were quite close to or something. That’s annoying for you.

Haberpop Fri 20-Apr-18 17:17:07

My daughter is marrying on the 9th August and her invites went out a few weeks ago but that is because she works in education and so do lots of the guests she is inviting. We have just received an invitation to a late June wedding so I would think there is still time yet for you to get an invite.

NapQueen Fri 20-Apr-18 17:19:02

What did she say about the grooms mum?

Maybe theyve sent Day invites but have evening only invites to send out closer to the time?

PetulantPolecat Fri 20-Apr-18 17:19:44

If you’re not close enough friends to ask then I don’t see why their wedding takes precedence over a holiday.

kaytee87 Fri 20-Apr-18 17:31:34

It's hard to say as there's still time to go.
I sent day invitations a few weeks before evening invitations so maybe yours is still to come?
Maybe wait another few weeks before planning something else if you're keen to go?

NotTakenUsername Fri 20-Apr-18 17:36:17

Why did they send an invitation to the grooms mum?

tectonicplates Fri 20-Apr-18 17:43:14

Because she's invited?

NotTakenUsername Fri 20-Apr-18 17:45:07

-Mum can you come to my wedding
-Yes son

Kattymanners Fri 20-Apr-18 17:45:31

I think you just have to be that CF guest and breezily ask the question and don’t be offended if your not invited grin

tectonicplates Fri 20-Apr-18 17:47:38

If we're not invited, it would probably be a bit uncomfortable for them to have to answer the question. I feel I'd be putting them in a difficult position.

MaggieFS Fri 20-Apr-18 17:49:10

I think you need to be open along the lines of:

"Hope you don't mind me asking, but we don't know if you're having a small wedding or if we might be invited after xx groom's name xx mentioned the date to us at xx occasion xx? Of course we'd never expect an invitation, but with it being the summer we need to make our plans, so I just wanted to double check"

That's a bit waffly but you get my gist. You've given them an out, made clear you're only asking because the groom mentioned it, and explained why you need to know now.

Mammyloveswine Fri 20-Apr-18 17:49:51

If they've sent invites to their parents then they've sent invites out and you aren't invited. Just book your holiday and if you do happen to receive an invite politely decline!

Or you could not so subtly discuss your plans with the bride and groom and wait for them to say "oh you can't go away then that's our wedding, invites are going out next week..."

EventNotInData Fri 20-Apr-18 17:50:04

You send invitations to your parents because you’ve got them designed nicely and you want your nearest and dearest to have one as a souvenir. You’re probably doing them in bulk so the cost of an additional one is barely the cost of the stamp. It’s also a handy way for them to have all the timings available.

FairfaxAikman Fri 20-Apr-18 18:00:13

Drop it in conversation if you don't want to feel brazen.

"How's the planning going? Have you got much still to do? Hope you get all you invitation replies soon as table planning is a bugger! Oh, have you not sent them yet?"

Chewbecca Fri 20-Apr-18 18:02:25

Do you have any mutual friends who would also likely be invited? Ask them?

Chewbecca Fri 20-Apr-18 18:03:09

We didn't send invites to parents btw. Not necessary.

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