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Corker from my two year old...

(105 Posts)
SteamingPistons Thu 19-Apr-18 22:44:04

He says something but I didn't quite hear
I said "what?"
He shouted "NO!! It's NOT "what", it's pardon!!!!"

Also earlier today, he demanded to know where the lid to his cup was, I told him I didn't know, he said "No! Where IS IT, I said!!!!!"

He's getting so bossy!!! Then he has the cheek to tell me to stop being bossy shockgrin

Plus when I told him this morning he could have one more minute of playing with the hose, he said "no mummy, lots of minutes!!" And he said "I been such a good boy, I do lots of playing with the hose then we turn it off, OK?!"

Hahaha, bossy moo! He's had me cracking up today 😁 Whilst also gritting my teeth at times.. little but loveable terror!!!

owl89 Thu 19-Apr-18 22:56:38

Haha that's so funny. My little boy has just turned 2 and he is starting to become so bossy. It's cute smile

MassivePottedGeranium Thu 19-Apr-18 23:00:49

He sounds lovely smile!
It's great when their own little personalities start to come through. I have three boys and they make me laugh so much, every day. Sounds like he is going to be a right little character!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Fri 20-Apr-18 01:26:24

I shall show this to DD. Then I shall laugh in an unpleasantly gloating manner. Yes.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Fri 20-Apr-18 03:32:16

The other day my 4yo didn’t get his way about something. He said, “mum, you’re a bottomless pit”. I couldn’t stop laughing at what a brilliant insult it was from a small child.

SteamingPistons Fri 20-Apr-18 07:56:30

Lmao, I love that bottomless pit one, that's hilarious!

JoanofNarc Fri 20-Apr-18 08:02:53


Mine are older now. I miss all this.

CigarsofthePharoahs Fri 20-Apr-18 08:06:10

Ah, bossy toddlers! My eldest used to get angry if he'd said thank you and I wasn't quick enough with the "you're welcome".

thenewaveragebear1983 Fri 20-Apr-18 08:09:01

My Ds (2.5) told a shop assistant the other day that her manners were beautiful!

GinUser Fri 20-Apr-18 09:05:15

My niece, then aged 3, commanded me to "turn the wind off, GinUser!" It still makes me laugh, decades later.

SayCoolNowSayWhip Fri 20-Apr-18 15:03:55

My 5yo DS had odd socks on this morning and when I pointed it out, he just shrugged and said, "We do what we can."


Aprilmightbemynewname Fri 20-Apr-18 15:09:21

Ds needed a poo and sat for a while - nothing happening - then declared his bum doesn't work!!

amusedbush Fri 20-Apr-18 15:09:52

Apparently when I was very small I was in a public toilet with my mum when someone in the next cubical farted loudly. I shouted "what do you say?!" through the wall blush

My mum says the poor woman is probably still sitting there mortified 25 years later!

amusedbush Fri 20-Apr-18 15:10:48

cubicle* blush

Mississippilessly Fri 20-Apr-18 17:08:37

I used to babysit a 2.5 year old. It was really hot one day so i took her out and bought us an ice cream each. She swallowed hers at the speed of light, eyed up mine and then said 'I know! We share!'

Um - no, no we don't!

maygirl27 Fri 20-Apr-18 18:41:10

My husband was going off to work one morning, he left his briefcase in the hall while he de-iced the car. Our then 4 year old DS opened the door and shouted out loudly "Daddy, daddy - don't forget your handbag!"

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass Fri 20-Apr-18 18:48:28

Dd came out with one last week. She's sat in the lounge next to dh. Says to him she wants her lion (obviously stuffed, we don't have room for a real lion grin). So he says go get it then, she goes to her bedroom and comes back with a sheep instead. Dh tells her she wanted her lion before. Dd says quite matter of factly, "it's like a lion, daddy, hut it's a sheep." Our new saying now grin

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass Fri 20-Apr-18 18:49:10


Babdoc Fri 20-Apr-18 18:51:58

We used to have a church elder who came to the house uninvited on a regular basis, doing pastoral care visits. He always came at inconvenient times, stayed ages, and was monosyllabic, so I dreaded him coming.
One tea time I spotted his car pull up. I rushed the kids into the back room and told them to be v quiet and pretend we were out.
DD1, aged 4 at the time, looked at me in disbelief.
“Mummy,” she began, (in her best explaining to an idiot voice), “why don’t you just open the door - and tell him to fuck off?”
Reader, I was sorely tempted...!

spiderlight Fri 20-Apr-18 19:24:04

My favourite insult was when an argument about bedtime ended with DS storming out of the room shouting 'FINE, I'll go then, you ungrateful egg!' grin

MildredHubble88 Fri 20-Apr-18 19:54:23

Haha! My 5.5yo has some right corkers. My husband puts them as his Facebook statuses, they are so funny.

One recent one between my 3.5yo Finn and my husband -
Finn: 'my names Finn ** '
H: 'That's a cool name. We chose Peter because that was Grandpa's dad's name'
Finn: 'I wish had a dad'
H: 'Who am I then?'
Finn: 'Just Will.'

Sophisticatedsarcasm Fri 20-Apr-18 20:24:25

When she had done something naughty I said to my dd (then 4 now 5) I’m not impressed with you right now. She said ‘ no mummy I’m not impressed with you always telling me off, I’m a kid for God’s sake ‘
I had to walk into the next room and burst out laughing and my mum had joined me. Not sure where that came from 😂

dancinfeet Fri 20-Apr-18 21:35:34

My (now teenage) daughter many years ago:
(I have fair hair, and unless my eyebrows are pencilled in, they are quite light)

'Mummy, why don't you have eyebrows?'
(Me) 'I do have eyebrows!'
'No, you have scowlified lumps!'

whifflesqueak Sat 21-Apr-18 09:19:05

3yo ds: I don’t like radios in vehicles.
Me: gosh you do have strong opinions don’t you.

Justletitlie Sat 21-Apr-18 09:34:13

babdoc you win!
That is absolutely priceless. Really made me laugh.
Although I love the odd socks one as well.

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