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OMG please help me!!!

(81 Posts)
NoWayNoHow Thu 19-Apr-18 22:08:19

DS is 10 years old and has slept like a dream since 8 weeks. Last night, he worked himself into such a panicked state about not being able to get to sleep that he had only 5 hours. Tonight is exactly the same, in fact worse. He's hysterical, inconsolable, and completely exhausted. He can't or won't articulate why he's literally overnight decided he can no longer sleep. I don't recognise this child AT ALL. I have never seen behaviour like it. He's shaking like a leaf, teeth chattering, and is exhibiting some serious obsessive behaviours.

Me and DH have tried every single technique and tactic we can possibly think of to comfort, cajole, be stern, but we're out of ideas. 24 hours ago, he was literally a completely different person. What is happening? We're so worried!!

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble Thu 19-Apr-18 22:12:55

Is he being bullied or possibly watched something scary , try some relaxation music and plenty of cuddles , a drink of milk just try and get him calm

allyouneedis Thu 19-Apr-18 22:15:10

A few things that spring to mind, has he had a bad dream and is scared to go to sleep? Has he watched something or played a computer game that might have frightened him? Could he be being bullied and is scared to go to sleep cause then it will be morning and he’ll have to go to school? Or maybe coming down with something? Could one of you sleep in with him tonight, maybe putting the tv on on reading to him till he falls asleep?

IAmBreakmasterCylinder Thu 19-Apr-18 22:15:14

Is he able to identify anything that is bothering him?

Poor lad. My DS is a troubled sleeper. He’s nearly 13. We deal with it by not pressuring him. He is allowed to stay up but no screens and no snacks. On good days he eventually takes himself off to bed. If not, he sleeps on our bedroom floor.

He sounds really anxious. I hope you all get some sleep soon x

mineofuselessinformation Thu 19-Apr-18 22:17:54

Get into bed and let him get in with you. The sound of someone else's calm breathing is a great way for some one who's struggling to go to sleep to manage it.

endofthelinefinally Thu 19-Apr-18 22:18:29

I would be getting medical advice. He may be ill.

Titsywoo Thu 19-Apr-18 22:20:07

Agree with mine, let him sleep with you tonight then get him seen by GP tomorrow as this is such unusual behaviour

autumnboys Thu 19-Apr-18 22:20:58

Is he in Year 6? Wondering if the school have been layering it on with this is the term of SATS.

I would probably pop him into the GP if it doesn’t resolve quickly.

hairymorag Thu 19-Apr-18 22:21:19

Has he taken something or been spiked? For such a sudden change I would be worried about drugs. From what your describing I would be calling the GP

nadinexxx Thu 19-Apr-18 22:25:45

i remember going through something similar when I was younger, out of nowhere I had decided that I'd never be able to sleep, I've always had anxiety but it's was much much worse and I'd start trembling, and be really upset. what helped was getting into bed next to my mum, knowing she was there and after a few days I was back to normal.
I don't have a clue what happened but it was a terrible few days.
Do try to find out if there's something he's not telling you like bullying etc though as it could be that.

NoWayNoHow Thu 19-Apr-18 22:28:26

Don't think it's illness/drugs - this is second night a row he's behaved like this, but during the day and all the way up to bedtime he is his totally normal self.

Down with us now, and he's calmed down a bit. He's worried about school pressie (he's Y5) but the one night of not being able to sleep has meant he's now no longer worried about school, but is now worried about not sleeping again.

He's fine for now, but I'm terrified when we try get him to go upstairs to sleep again. He slept in with me last night, but whilst it helped him get to sleep initially, he was tossing and turning from 4.45am sad

strawberrypenguin Thu 19-Apr-18 22:29:59

Could you pop the radio or an audio book on quietly for him so he can relax and get to sleep. Then you can have a good chat with him tomorrow in case there is anything worrying him

NoWayNoHow Thu 19-Apr-18 22:32:44

strawberry he's had some meditation music on in his room but it's sadly not helped...

notmypropername Thu 19-Apr-18 22:33:11

Oh no! I'm guessing bad dream, but maybe something deeper, speak with him about it tomorrow. DO NOT be stern, that's the last thing he needs. Make him a hot chocolate or milk. Get into bed with him, or him with you, let him fall asleep with you and feel safe

4mogirl Thu 19-Apr-18 22:35:11

Could he draw a picture of what ( if anything) is upsetting him if he can’t talk about it?

Mybabystolemysanity Thu 19-Apr-18 22:36:04

Poor baby, sounds terrible. Can you try Radio 4 and ask him to concentrate on the words. I have horrible anxiety and it's been the one thing that's really helped me over the years with sleep. Maybe a funny programme like Just a Minute or Cabin Pressure?

Whenthereshope Thu 19-Apr-18 22:38:42

How odd I'd be worried something bad had happened. Think if it was me I'd say ok mums gonna take the rest of the week off work and you can take it off school. Then I'd sleep with him and say don't worry about getting to sleep because if you don't we'll sleep tomorrow and I'd just kind of hang around with him constantly in the hope he'd get better or think he could trust me because it would hopefully show he's no.1 priority!? Hope it all works out ok and it blows over x

tootiredtospeak Thu 19-Apr-18 22:39:57

My son is ASD and has had sleep issues for years. Panicked after it happened once he would lake awake all night and then for years had to be asleep before me.
My advice is totally back off from normal bedtime just for a bit take the pressure off.
After that suggest an hour before your bedtime to go to his room and put on a CD. Listen to it until the end then if not asleep can get you.
Ten mins of a milky drink and some comforting and repeat. Back in bed CD on can get you when it ends.
Weve never got past 2 CD's its all about getting them to relax. Dont punish tried it total waste if time.

rememberthetime Thu 19-Apr-18 22:43:44

My daughter went through a similar thing. the first instance of insomnia can cause anxiety that then causes insomnia.

Reassurance that not sleeping in the short term is not harmful can really help. Don't force him to sleep - allow him to read in bed (no screens though) and to get up and have water or to just sit with you for a while.

My daughter was so worried that she would be tired the next day and wouldn't cope, but we would point out that she didn't have to do anything that important, she didn't drive or have an exam. Knowing that being tired is a pain, but not life threatening is important., because the anxiety about sleep can really snowball.

I have to say that my daughter suffers with a few different forms of anxiety including misophonia and skin sensitivities. She is also highly intelligent and thinks about things a lot. This would sometimes prevent her from sleeping.

My ex was also a very controlling father that caused her all kinds of upset - so be aware that sleep issues can stem from mental health issues too.

Moving away from my husband has cured all of her insomina. Nothing for the last 2 years and before then it was constant. Not saying your child is suffering from a similar issue, but that stress of all kinds can have an impact and sorting it out can help.

Atalune Thu 19-Apr-18 22:44:11

My child is going through something similar.

We have totally relaxed bedtime. So we start winding down at 7pm, pack bags and get everything organised for the next day. Then we have a drink and a little chat and do some yoga. Then we do teeth brushing and pjs. Then the relaxation you tube clips are put on in the backgrounds Then we do reading and then we play an easy game. Like matching pairs or uno. Then they go upstairs with me and I read to them.

Then we lay together and have some little chats and some cuddles and then I leave.

I have spoken to school and ruled out bullying, I have had more friends round and more play and internship with my child. We have reduced screen time and we have increased sporting stuff.

We also bought anew mattress and new memory foam pillow. We use sleep spray from lush as well.

We are 4 months deep into this and I think it’s hormones and the very very early stages of puberty- some nights he is boiling hot and sweating. Also he is sensitive and developing some anxiety.

Hope that helps.

Talk to school. Lots!

Baubletrouble43 Thu 19-Apr-18 22:44:16

Oh bless. My dd1 who was a superstar sleeper did this around Xmas one year when she was about that age. I put it down to not coping with all the excitement very well. I took the pressure off and let her go to bed when I did with me for a few nights but it was school hols so I guess this is trickier.

Missingstreetlife Thu 19-Apr-18 22:46:52

Take him swimming or running, yoga or tai chi would be good too, get him physically tired and in his body not his head. Hope soon better.

Atalune Thu 19-Apr-18 22:47:19

The worry he felt was real- and so we just take all the pressure off about bedtimes.

No set bedtimes, no big deals about not sleeping. Even just laying there is resting and recharging. Lots and lots of reassurances. An older child- a friends son went through something similar and he chats about it too, so that helps.

IWantMyHatBack Thu 19-Apr-18 22:47:37

I remember this, I remember suddenly being scared in my room and scared to go to sleep. It's the being scared to sleep that's the worrying thing, could he have had a night terror? Apparently I used to wake the house up with my screaming, and I used to be scared in my dark room when I went to bed. Age 10 to 12 ish. I was made to go to bed on my own, and wasn't allowed to make a noise. I don't think I ever managed to explain what was going on though, and why I was so scared.

I'd distract as much as possible, but at the same time not give too much attention to it. It'll only worry him more if he knows you're concerned.

I agree that if this goes on much longer I'd be seeking medical advice. If it's as extreme as if sounds from your post, there could be an underlying issue that he can't articulate.

BillywilliamV Thu 19-Apr-18 22:49:56

How about a talking book, ,agentle favourite story. Thats generally how I get to sleep.

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