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DS has brought home some odd books from nursery but this one...

(34 Posts)
FlaviaAlbia Thu 19-Apr-18 11:57:31

Really takes the crown..

Moving on from the terrifying child on the cover, nothing says healthy like letting your child neck a 2ltr bottle of lilt grin

EskiVodkaCranberry Thu 19-Apr-18 11:57:56

Love it!

FlaviaAlbia Thu 19-Apr-18 12:09:11

Can you imagine having a child who models and thinking "Fantastic! They're on the cover of a healthy book, can't wait to show all my family and friends!"

Then being presented with this grin

Lowlywormsbugdozer Thu 19-Apr-18 12:56:22

shock

foxessocks Thu 19-Apr-18 12:57:32

shockgrin

Elflocks Thu 19-Apr-18 13:34:21

That's made me chuckle. grin

poddige Thu 19-Apr-18 14:11:57

😂😂

Elflocks Fri 20-Apr-18 13:16:55

Was in T K Maxx today, looking at the scented candles and had to laugh. They were selling a scented candle that smelt of........

Calming Tobacco! grin

HateSummer Fri 20-Apr-18 13:22:11

😂😂 that bottle of Lilt!!

Ds was reading a Biff and Chip book the other day where a horse ate rotten apples and started galloping very fast and wouldn’t stop. Mum explains at the end that he was drunk on the rotten apples 😱😂. We had a good laugh at that one.

Elflocks Fri 20-Apr-18 13:43:15

Oh, my goodness HateSummer!!

I once had this rather odd book for dc aged about 4. I think it was called The Adventures of Ping.
It was about a duck farmer, who lived on a boat. He would let his ducks roam during the day, and then each night call his ducks in to sleep in his boat. The last duck to come in when he called would get hit on the back with a stick!
One day Ping, realises he is the last on the boat. So decides he is not getting on the boat to be hit. He gets separated from his family who are on the boat. He goes on an adventure and meets different characters.
He finds the boat again on his travels, wants to see his family again. So climbs aboard, when the farmer calls his ducks.
He is then hit on the back with a stick, by the farmer BUT this is presented as a GOOD thing to the reader, because he gets to see his family again!!!

birdling Fri 20-Apr-18 14:03:12

We read Alfie and the Birthday Surprise with our just turned 4 year old.
We had to rename it Alfie and the Dead Cat, because that's all ds remembered about it.

"But why did the cat die, mummy?" Over and over again..... confused

dingdongdigeridoo Fri 20-Apr-18 14:04:46

Haha! Every primary school seems to have a stash of these books with shite 90s photographs. It must be the law.

My sons favourite book for ages was Father Christmas Needs a Wee. Utter crap, and he insisted on reading it in the middle of summer.

SneakyGremlins Fri 20-Apr-18 14:07:09

Have you seen the biff and chip book with the dogging in the background?

KurriKurri Fri 20-Apr-18 14:11:23

That's hilarious - love the kid on the cover and the Lilt product placement grin

ignatiusjreilly Fri 20-Apr-18 14:26:43

I was really excited about reading Enid Blyton books to my son as I loved them growing up. DM brought one of our old books with her when she came to visit: The Adventures of Mr Pinkwhistle.

Leaving aside his questionable name (!) I just couldn't believe we used to read this stuff as kids. One delightful tale had Mr Pinkwhistle passing a crying dog and asking it what was wrong (he is half-brownie and can talk to animals). It says a boy has been stealing its collar every day, and its owner whips it and tells it not to lose the new one, but the boy keeps stealing it so its owner keeps whipping it.

So Mr Pinkwhistle turns himself invisible and waits for the boy to come, then he scares him and steals all the boy's clothes until he is completely naked, terrified and sobbing. The boy begs for his clothes back because his mother will whip him if he goes home without them. Mr Pinkwhistle has no mercy and sends him running home naked to be whipped soundly.

We are told that Mr Pinkwhistle has once again "put things right" and carries on his merry way.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Fri 20-Apr-18 15:16:26

Wow! How old is that book?

The Lilt bottle has the old style base when bottles still had rounded bottoms. (Misses point of thread)

We warned a colleague at work whos son is about to start school about Biff and Chip. All the mums groanedgrin

dingdongdigeridoo Fri 20-Apr-18 15:48:17

In honour of this thread and the current heatwave, we should all have a sing along to the old Lilt adverts: youtu.be/BBJmw6ke17c

(I’m amazed anyone on that island has any teeth left with all that Lilt. But I guess it’s fruit, so healthy by 80s standards!)

NigellasGuest Fri 20-Apr-18 16:07:19

My dd's favourite was an Enid Blyton story called The Horrid Little Boy. He had bad table manners and was disobedient so Mother and Father told him he was horrid and dirty. They said he behaved like a dog so they put him under the table at meal times like a dog, and made him eat down there. I think he ended up crying and begging to come out from under the table, but Mother and Father refused and continued to call him a dirty dog!!!

trueblueari Fri 20-Apr-18 16:11:28

I'm aware this is just a meme and not a real book but I almost wet myself laughing when I first saw it and this thread has reminded me of it and made me laugh all over again.

zzzzz Fri 20-Apr-18 16:15:12

Fabulous!

And in a different way Mr Pinkwhistle, with his strip-you-naked punishment shockgringringringrin

Hefzi Fri 20-Apr-18 16:19:30

@Elflocks I had that book in the 70s It used to make me cry sad it did spawn many generations of ducks called Ping in our family though (but none hit with sticks) grin

Elflocks Fri 20-Apr-18 16:23:45

Ah, bless, Hefzi. I bet your little ducks were much happier than their namesake! smile

zzzzz Fri 20-Apr-18 16:39:50

To be fair Angelina Ballerina was a horror! Ask her to look after a baby and she’ll ignore it while it rolls off a bed, ask her to look after her younger cousin at the fair....shock. Revolting mouse.

FlaviaAlbia Fri 20-Apr-18 16:40:35

Ping shock poor ping!

I could totally see that here birdling. I must avoid that one...

I didn't actually check at the time MothertotheLordsofmisrule but I've just checked Google and it was published in 1999. It looks older shock

The good news is, there's a whole series grin Please form an orderly queue grin

FlaviaAlbia Fri 20-Apr-18 16:43:13

dingdongdigeridoo That advert 😂 with the man pouring it over his face while he drinks it! That's priceless grin

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