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People that “don’t do” technology, why?

(191 Posts)
EachandEveryone Fri 13-Apr-18 22:25:17

I’m probably being irrational but I have to friends who are sisters who pride themselves on not doing technology. Are they simply in w time warp or right? Whenever anything needs booking it’s always down to me and if I lay out money they always give me it whenever I see them which could be weeks down the line because they don’t do PayPal, online banking etc. In fact they don’t do the Internet full stop. They don’t trust any machine. Tonight one rang me to say their teenager will be doing a placement the other side of my city and could she stay with me. I said I don’t mind but why commute in rush hour for over an hour when she could stay in an Airbnb in a trendy spot in London for £32 a night? I was told she doesn’t do computers so can’t join Airbnb I must admit I did snap abit and told her she needs to cop on to technology more. Her dh has had a mistress for the past six years and it’s all just come out god forgive me but I do think if she’d have been more savvy about at least phone banking she might have noticed the money he was squirrelling away or had at least checked his phone when he was sat next to her texting all night. It might’ve come out sooner and now it’s a huge mess because she really doesn’t know what he’s been up to with all the finances. She’s never worked so is in a precarious position and I need to support her but why are people so anti how do they arrange stuff? Or do I rely on it too much? Maybe I’m too trusting given what’s been in the news recently.

LiquoriceTea Fri 13-Apr-18 22:27:54

Gosh your poor friend if she's just discovered about the mistress. It sounds like she needs support.

LiquoriceTea Fri 13-Apr-18 22:28:26

I can think of a lot of other reasons why I'd rather my child stay with a friend than air bnb though.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat Fri 13-Apr-18 22:29:48

That’s the most tenuous and convoluted link to victim blaming I’ve ever read!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Fri 13-Apr-18 22:30:10

I’m not sure an Internet forum is the best place to get responses to your question though?

Nothisispatrick Fri 13-Apr-18 22:39:00

I agree op, ignoring all the affair stuff. I work in a primary school and a mum told me she couldn't check the term dates on the website because she can't do computers. How are you gonna keep your primary aged child safe online if you can't use the internet?

LoniceraJaponica Fri 13-Apr-18 22:40:30

Interestingly, I was listening to Jeremy Vine the other day, and he was talking to a lady who had been brought up in the Plymouth Brethren Christian church. They frown on the use of modern technology and are slow to accept it.

Is your friend a member of this sect?

newtlover Fri 13-Apr-18 22:41:24

have you heard about Facebook?

EachandEveryone Fri 13-Apr-18 22:43:26

It’s not recent and I’m not victim blaming it’s bloody awful what he’s done and has been doing for god knows how long, it’s totally crap and she’s been completely blindsided as he dealt with everything online. He can never be trusted now to do the right thing. And of course he would’ve done it whether she had an email account or not.

EachandEveryone Fri 13-Apr-18 22:45:16

It doesn’t matter whether it’s Airbnb, premier inn, staying with me and registering a travel card it’s the not being able to do these things it holds you back surely!

Crispbutty Fri 13-Apr-18 22:48:04

Can her daughter not do it herself? If she’s old enough to stay in a b&b then she’s old enough to use her internet too.

EachandEveryone Fri 13-Apr-18 22:49:55

I guess so but she won’t be paying for it so it’s the same difference and again it’s relying on other people to book everything

StrongerThanIThought76 Fri 13-Apr-18 23:18:08

My mum flatly refuses to do anything online. Won't call us on our mobilr phones from her landline. Will traipse into the city to pick up something from a specialist shop that could be delivered the next day.

For her I think it's half 'never used it and am scared of it' and half 'actually no I'm going to play martyr so that you can do it for me'.

In the last 2 years she's overpaid £600 on energy bills because she doesn't trust the meercat. I offer to do it - show her the figures - but she just won't. Interested in genealogy but won't go to the library where online records are free to access. Gets cross when we have the nerve to be out when she calls but will absolutely NOT call us on our mobiles. DRIVES ME NUTS!!!

sympatico1 Fri 13-Apr-18 23:23:21

Perhaps she would use the internet etc if someone would patiently show her how!!

Plumsofwrath Fri 13-Apr-18 23:31:47

I get you OP. It’s extremely frustrating - in the way that people who hold other views from bygone eras are frustrating.

Can you imagine someone not believing in cars? Or air travel? Or washing machines? I do actually know someone who only bought a washing machine in her 60s. Washed everything by hand and was suuuuuch a martyr about it.

No problem with people eschewing things like meat eating, SM etc for well thought out and valid reason. Just opting out for some half baked idea of whatever is plain rude and makes other people’s life difficult.

EachandEveryone Fri 13-Apr-18 23:36:42

It’s even stopped her from getting out into the work force which is some form of independence isnt it? Won’t go online to go for a job and won’t apply anyway because it’s all computers these days!!

ggirl Sat 14-Apr-18 00:04:42

agree OP ..I don't get it?

Some people have an irrational fear of computers and internet either through lack of confidence and not trusting it.

I have a friend who doesn't have a mobile ..she's basically out of the loop in organising stuff as no answer machine ..annoying.

EachandEveryone Sat 14-Apr-18 00:09:29

Her cousin is exactly the same they also hold very old school views about other stuff. Very old fashioned before their time really.

AornisHades Sat 14-Apr-18 00:19:11

Yanbu. My xsil seemed to think computers were something invented to persecute her confused

Bloodybridget Sat 14-Apr-18 01:42:35

Oh god yes. People who "don't use email" - honestly unless you're maybe over 90 or have disabilities that prevent you from being able to understand/use it there's no excuse.

ohfortuna Sat 14-Apr-18 02:12:54

why dont they just go the whole hog and use candles instead of electric lights?

GinSolvesEverything Sat 14-Apr-18 03:05:28

I have a friend who homeschools and refuses to let her kids be exposed to any technology at all. I don’t even think they have a working tv. She thinks there is no benefit at all to knowing how to work a computer (she can, kids have no clue). I just think about how disadvantaged they may be later in life - if they go to a senior school / Uni / most facets of adult life.

LiquoriceTea Sat 14-Apr-18 05:36:07

Steiner school are similar. Although for homeschooler I'm aware of following a similar thing they have no screens until 2 (American paediatric recommendation) and then reduced screens (so maybe no tv) until child is a lot older. They still introduce to a computer for high school so they pick it up quick.

We had off until 2. Mine spent most of yesterday havikng a DVD day!

Uggie Sat 14-Apr-18 05:59:11

Your friend sounds really extreme. Refusing to engage with technology to that extent is like refusing to read or write. And not being able to apply for a job because "it's all reading and writing these days"

lovesugarfreejelly63 Sat 14-Apr-18 06:09:08

My friends are elderly (like me) and they do not own a mobile phone, or god forbid a computer! I went along to a Computer Class to learn the basics, I get by, never going to be a whizz kid, but do not do banking online etc.,some technology is still a mystery to me but I am always open to learning more.

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