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Codeine addiction

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madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 20:22:36

Hi

I'm new here so please be gentle. I'm posting here for traffic, and just want to know about others experiences of codeine/co codamol and how they've overcome it.

I never really used it a few years ago. Mum had it (prescribed) and I'd take a tablet or two when in pain (dislocations etc). When I came home from uni I was unemployed and really down/depressed for about 5 months, and I started taking it heavily then.

Since then, I've used in stages and in different levels. I've gone through periods of using it every day, during the day, only using it at night, and of course withdrawing when the prescription ran out. It sounds daft, but the feeling it gives me is incredible. Providing I know my limit and don't take too many tablets that I feel rough the next day, I'm fine. I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess. Mother doesn't notice her prescription going missing as she never uses it (ironically as she doesn't want to get addicted).

I'm not stupid though. I know it must be doing me some harm though. When I withdraw my body aches, I have diarrhea, I have restless legs, I have worse sleep and I suspect that physically at least I am dependant on it.

I can't admit it to anyone in real life. I hate withdrawal. I feel so on edge and down all the time, and part of me can't wait til next Wednesday for mum's prescription to come in, to have more. At the same time I'm going through withdrawal and I'm thinking what is the point in going through this only to have to go through it again, in the future. I want to join the police in the future and know that my cocodamol use will need to stop for this.

The fact that I feel so down without it scares me. I feel really depressed, and I don't know if it's a result of withdrawal or just not medicating. It's not right. I was a lot happier three years ago, and I have been through some stuff since then (not dramatic, unemployment, being assaulted, unemployment, bad family relationships). But surely I should be able to move on from that? I can't let on to anyone that I'm hurting inside, and I should be able to move on from that. I can't afford therapy.

Basically, I'm very confused, a bit scared and a lot fed up of going through withdrawal all over again. I would appreciate support if anyone has been through the same thing.

Notwellbitch Fri 06-Apr-18 20:33:36

* I'm more positive, cheerful, happy, and I sleep better. I honestly feel sometimes there's no downsides. I function perfectly normal and noone in real life would guess*

Doesn't co codamol contain paracetamol also? That can't be good for your liver and could cause serious damage even though you may not feel any ill effects until it's too late

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 20:36:14

I know it can't be doing my insides any good, and have sometimes worried about overdosing. I know now what my limit is, but at the same time I know my health must be suffering even if I physically feel ok

JustVent Fri 06-Apr-18 20:37:44

It makes you happy and positive?

I just got sleepy and dopey.

coffeecow Fri 06-Apr-18 20:40:42

Have you thought about telling your GP? They might be able to offer you some free counselling/help.

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 20:45:12

I live in a small community and I'm worried someone will see me going/my GP will somehow let on, plus I do feel ashamed to some extent. I mean by taking mum's prescription I'm technically breaking the law. It does make me sleepy and tired, but the knock on effects is that the next day I feel relaxed and happy, like nothing can go wrong, like everything is ok.

specialsubject Fri 06-Apr-18 20:49:31

It has different effects on everyone, some people don't get the high and others are on cloud 9 with it.

Your gp is bound by confidentiality. Going to the doctor is a perfectly normal thing to do and why is nobody's business but yours.

You do need to get help . good luck.

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 20:58:50

Hey,
First off well done for putting finger to tablet or phone (as opposed to pen to paper!) that's a huge step in the right direction.

Step 1 is admitting you have a problem and many people dont realise addiction is actually an illness that needs treating rather than something that'll just go away.

If you don't feel happy going to your GP then you could ring the "speak to frank" helpline

https://www.nhs.uk/livewell/drugs/pages/drugtreatment.aspx

They will be able to point you in the right direction and give you some helpful advice. Ive worked with people with addictions to all sorts of things - drugs, alcohol, cleaning (OCD etc...) and within the professionalism "frank" is widely used and well regarded.

Please give them a call - you'll feel better afterwards hopefully 💐

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:06:35

Bella I know I might be worrying unnceccesarily, but is there any way things could be made official? As in, if I contact Talk to Frank or any other agency, would there be notes made on my medical record etc? I know it seems silly but I am worried about people knowing. It feels sometimes as though there is two me's - the one everyone sees, and the only me knows about

fia101 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:09:25

NA can help

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:15:39

http://m.talktofrank.com/need-support?ID=108

Frank is completely confidential so do t worry about that, use the link above to type in where you live and go from there with what's available.

Your medical record is completely confidential and if for example your nextdoor neighbour worked at the local
Doctors, read your notes and told your family, that's gross misconduct and would result in them being sacked, you pressing charges and in some cases if severe enough (I'm talking have involved blackmail to keep quiet or threats for money to keep quiet) it can result in a custodial sentence.

Your priority needs to be getting the right help to get yourself better.

Is your Mum not wondering where all these tablets are going?

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:19:04

https://www.addaction.org.uk/services

These guys are great too - just type in your postcode and find out where your nearest centre is

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:19:24

Bella thank you. Mum doesn't use the cocodamols very often (as in, extremely rarely) so I suppose she doesn't notice that they are going missing. If she did, I suppose she would say.

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:22:39

Bella I'm in Wales but using the search engine I've found an agency local to me. I applied for a job there last year, so a little apprehensive about contacting them. Thank you for your help though, I need to summon the strength to contact someone

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:24:16

Feel free to private msg me if you want;

Perhaps a good start would be cancelling that prescription so it's not tempting you but you need to do this in line with getting some help for yourself at the same time as withdrawal can be difficult to deal with and frank or addaction can support you with that process.

Don't delay - phone today as they say m
The sooner you speak to them the sooner you can get help

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:26:16

If the agency near you, you don't feel comfortable going to is there one in the next town or city perhaps you could go to?
Plenty of people don't access services on their doorstop for confidentiality reasons or use somewhere near their work or college instead of near home

rainbowfudgee Fri 06-Apr-18 21:26:41

Well done for taking the first step OP. It's an addictive substance and you have a ready made supply. You need to ask for help before it becomes a bigger problem or you decide to try other drugs which are more damaging. Your liver might not be too happy with the amount you're taking so trying to stop is really important. You can do this flowers you just need some support.

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:35:13

I know support would be useful, but is it possible to do this alone? I kbow I have an issue and saying that on here seems easier, but the thought of doing it in RL does scare me

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:43:03

Can you do it alone?

Are you going to phone up and cancel your mums prescription and deal with mass withdrawal?

That's maybe not achievable at the moment so he kind to yourself and access the available help, you'll look back in a couple of months and be so proud of yourself and pleased you did it.

It's like me, I'm dieting, can I do it alone? No, I need to go to fat club for the support and the control and and support network is the same - there to help with people in the same situation x

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 06-Apr-18 21:43:46

Sorry typo

And and
Should say and any

madein1995 Fri 06-Apr-18 22:50:53

You're right, there's no way I feel able to cancel the prescription and I know I should get some support even if I don't want to

Bellabutterfly2016 Sat 07-Apr-18 07:44:00

You can do it!
Seriously once you've made that call it'll be so much better.

There's no shame in asking for help - addictions are more common than you think, people can hide them quite well and they are not always associated with a particular gender, age group, and they affect the rich, the poor and those in the middle too

fia101 Sat 07-Apr-18 10:50:12

Just be aware that your GP is likely to just give you a leaflet for adaction or NA. It will mess up your medical records so I'd recommend you get life insurance and critical illness before seeing your doctor as if you try to do so afterwards you'll either be refused by main providers or cost will be massive

madein1995 Sat 07-Apr-18 21:02:43

I think I will contact (hopefully via email rather than phone) a local ish agency on Monday. I know my GP couldn't disclose anything but I'd be so embarassed going over as he's known me for years, to be honest embarassment is a huge driving force for me, I can't think of anything worse than people in RL knowing.

At the moment I'm twitchy. The restless legs have gone, but I'm on edge and my hands need to do something, I can't settle down and focus on one thing, I'm really restless. Dreading bed tonight as I know I'll take ages to get off, that it'll be a shit nights sleep full of nightmares and I'll wake up early

LuxuryWoman2017 Sat 07-Apr-18 21:36:45

Keep chatting here lovely, you know there's always people around 🌹

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